I wish I could end with the title... (hey don't agree with me here!!!)  but I must explain...



My daughter loves to draw.  She loves to paint, to trace, to color and anything that can be turned into artwork will be.  She is 5.  We all know that a five year old has limits in this area and that her artwork would probably not be admired by strangers, but it is admired by me.  When she makes a drawing, I have two choices...

One, I could say "oh honey, that's a good try, but that looks nothing like a dinosaur, and the colors are really not quite correct, and why would you put hearts in the sky??  There are not hearts in the sky ever.

Or option 2 would go something more like this...Oh honey, that is beautiful!  That looks like the happiest dinosaur in the world, and he is so lucky to be pink and purple!!  And he is so full of love, that he puts hearts in the sky!!!  I LOVE IT!!!!

Now, the first would be a better description of what is really going on, but what would that do to her desire to create if I said those words???



Let me give you another example...

My two year old boy LOVES to sing and "play the guitar".  He does a great job, but it goes without saying that he is not always in tune, and his guitar playing resembles that of a donkey stuck in a barbed wire fence. (not that I have heard that personally, but I can't imagine it would sound very good..) Once again, I have two options...

I could say, Baby, you don't sound quite like the people singing the song,  they said "mama called the doctor and the doctor said...NOT mama doll the dada nadad dad daid....and when you play the guitar, it hurts my ears.

OR I could say, Baby, mama looooooves it when you sing (and break into a crazy dance) it blesses my heart!  You sound like an angel!  And your guitar sounds just like daddies!  Good job pumpkin!!!

Once again, the first would be more true...



But what would it do to my kids spirits if I pointed out every fault, or everything they could do better???  It would deflate them.  They would give up!  My sweet girl would stop drawing, and my baby boy would stop singing!!! (oh that breaks my heart!)

We have soooo much control of how inspired or broken our kids become!!!!



Here is another way to put it...

If I talk over and over about how "shy" my child is, she will be shy!

If I tell my boy all day long what a "bad boy" he is, he will be bad!

And seriously, If I ever hear any parent call their child "stupid" I will go ape all over them!!!

Oh and just a side note...you that are married, If you tell your husband what a lazy, selfish, unloving  jerk he is, guess what he will be???(just saying!!!)

If we say you're NOT good at math, or soccer, or driving, or talking....guess what they will NOT be good at???



In contrast to that..

If I tell my daughter that she is the best big sissy in the world, she hugs her brother when he cries, helps him when he falls down, and "teaches" him how to read! (this often happens in my house!)

When my son hears over and over that it is important to be gentle to girls and be respectful to them...imagine the type of man he will be.

If we say your an amazing singer, a beautiful dancer, such a great communicator, and I love how you are respectful to everyone you are around...they will rise to the standards that we set for them! 



I think it goes without saying that we want our kids to be successful adults (and I'm not talking money here) so treat them like successful children.  Does criticism or brutal honesty motivate any of us?  I think not.  I want to use my words and attitude to build up my children!!!



So here is a little challenge for all of us today.  Lets be mindful of every word that we say to our kids today...I am committed to only use my words to encourage, lift them up and bring joy!



Glad you're here today, and hoping you will "share" us with your friends!!!