So I am never one to make waves…I am a peace keeper…I never send food back even if it’s not even remotely what I ordered and I would be the one who gets ignored at Starbucks because I don’t want to interrupt the barista and the cashier talking about the previous nights escapades…

I HATE confrontation…I am a stuffer…I would rather pretend like problems don’t exist or just eat my feelings rather than face the real issue. (there’s nothing white bread and pasta can’t heal:) It’s not healthy and I don’t suggest it because when you can’t stuff or eat anymore a rare- but HORRIBLE - explosion occurs and is directed at whatever poor, unsuspecting soul is closest at the time. 

So there has been like two weeks of drama going on with my bank...WELLS FARGO(that will be important later on in the story)… I lost my debit card months ago (I do it all of the time…usually along with my drivers license and my phone) anyway a normal person would have just ordered a new card but since I avoid talking on the phone like the plague, I asked the lady at the bank of she would order it for me. In the spirit of great customer service she told me “NO I had to call their 800 number.” So of course I didn’t…I still haven’t in fact…I, instead decided to start using my credit card and just transfer funds over (none of tis makes sense but it’s just how I function) So…because I hadn’t been using the credit card, and then started using it for everything, the bank put a security hold on it … after 15 minutes on the phone (mind you my kids were screaming and crawling up my leg the entire time) the lady said her computer wasn’t working and I would have to call back!!! Ahhhhh (I promise I’m getting to the point here…stay with me)

Anyway, I went back through the bank drive thru pleading with the teller to order my debit card and to remove the security lock. Of course she couldn’t and I drove away seething…ready to erupt. I dialed the 800 number for the bank with passion…someone was going to get a piece of my mind and I didn’t care who…

The guy who answered told me that my card had been CANCELLED and he couldn’t see why, and he added the extra bonus of NOT being able to order my debit card….and then it happened… I exploded….In my defense I did preface the sobbing curses with “I understand that it’s not you’re fault but...” blah blah blah … It was really an out of body experience and I don’t even remember exactly what was said/yelled. I do remember wrapping the whole thing up with a nice big F-bomb though. Before you judge you have to realize that I NEVER do this…I was a crazy woman and what happened next is why it NEVER pays to be NASTY…NEVER…EVER… After I apologized again the guy gave me the 800 number to get my debit card…he asked if there was anything else he could help me with…I said NO (rolling my eyes)…and he said alright then, Thank You for calling CHASE. Click. CHASE???? uhhh chase?? hmmm must have called the wrong bank some how…oops

Last Christmas a friend of mine told me about some advent activities for kids to prepare for Christmas. Each day we would do a new craft  correlating with the meaning of Christmas…and each day I would fool myself into thinking we were going to have fun no matter how horrible the last craft went. I like to call myself the anti-Martha…not by choice but by genetics. I am chaotic and unorganized and I just end up making a huge mess. The picture above shows my three boys with their crowns smiling because apparently they just forgot that 15 minutes earlier everyone was crying, crew was pooping on the floor, Sawyer threw a pair of scissors at me and I wrapped the whole thing up with an F-Bomb…Merry Freaken Christmas boys!!

We haven’t revisited the craft thing, but it is surprising to me that now that summer has come, I start each day thinking we are going to have a fun adventure…the truth is 95% of the time…things just aren’t fun…for us…the moms that is. Every time we leave the house I have great expectations of trying to recreate the amazing childhood I had with a very adventurous mom. And ALMOST everyday I am on the verge of tears ready for a hard drink by the time we get back to the car…Attempting a hot air ballon ride (tethered don’t get your panties in a bunch now), swim lessons, water slides, visiting the airport, parks, pools and playdates…we’ve done them all and each time I come away feeling like a monstrous failure - sure that all my kids will remember is pandemonium interrupted by brief bouts of me screaming…”no peeing in front of friends” … “don’t throw your brother down the slide” and my favorite “get your hands out of your pants!” (only moms of boys will appreciate that one:))

                           

The shocking thing is that every time we get in the car Sawyer gushes about how much fun we had…I’m just like really??? Were we just at the same place because I am sweating and questioning my sanity right now! After talking to my mom…well OK let’s be honest…after crying to my mom about what a horrible mother I am for not enjoying projects or outings (and we can add holidays and birthdays to the list) with my kids she told me everything she did with us growing up SUCKED! Camping, Disney vacations, trips to the coast, days at the lake…she said it was MISERABLE!!! My sister who has older kids now confirmed everything my mom said and that I had been feeling….YAY!! I’m not the bitchiest, most horrible mom alive!!! 

So in the name of creating “good memories” for my boys I will continue to endure the misery…I will lighten up and let them just play and have fun …and through it all, I will just hope they will block out the crazy woman yelling obscenities in the background and remember me as being the coolest, most adventurous mom ever…just like I remember my mama:)