Showing posts with label frustration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label frustration. Show all posts
Monday, May 9, 2011
Behavior that makes me see red...dye that is.
I feel like most days I spend that majority of my time cleaning up after the tirades of a two year old. My vocabulary often feels limited to "don't put your pee pee on the dog...boogers go on tissues not in your mouth...and you can't eat off of the ground!' Chaos feels like a permanent resident here; but it wasn't until last week that I actually experienced that mortifying, everyone is staring at me, I'm "that" parent, moment.
Our day started innocently enough at music class when my dude took a vacation from reality. He became the kid that everyone looks at and either says "thank God he is not mine, or that parent should not be allowed to have children". Let me just preface this by saying that even though he can be out of control at times, I can almost always distract him, or figure out some kind of a discipline to snap him into reality. But not today. He was charging into closets, out doors and doing exactly the opposite of every activity we were supposed to be doing. He was laughing hysterically at himself as he pulled my hair, climbed on everything (climbable or not) all the while getting the attention of every adult (and not in a good way!). We managed to survive music class and I apparently lapsed into a total state of bad judgement when I attempted the post office! (Earth Monkey products had to be mailed rain or shine, sweet or psycho toddler!) About 15 seconds into the door, it started down hill fast...
I have managed to burry a lot of the details but for the sake of my final point, I will relive them now...
1 time pulling cards from the display
2 times throwing his dinosaur at the oh so patient man who worked there
3 laps around the counter that forms the line
4 rolls on the ground (under said counter)
5 bolts to the door (only one time trapped by a nice woman!)
6 head throws backwards as I
7 items on the counter that had to be moved as I waited to mail our products
8 screams of delight at his insanity
9 beads of sweat on my brow
10 sets of eyes staring
Maybe that does not sound too insane, but it is all I can relive. The rest is just too painful.
Oh ya..one more thing..my dad all the years of my life (even now) has said to me, "think about what you say before you say it". Well, that advice escaped me that day because as I carried him back to the counter after the 5th escape attempt, a woman commented (I think trying to make me feel better) "wow, he is fast"..to that I jokingly replied "ya, we call him birth control". This is the point where I wish my dads advice would have been at the forefront of my mind because the other 10 customers, well lets just say that not one of them got the joke! At this point, I finished my business, buried my head; or should I say my son had my eyes covered with my own hair and his hands; and I left.
You ready for the moral to the story? This is what I learned that day...one, best friends that can relate to this totally rock...and two, people that know lots of things are my super heros. Did you know that red dye in our foods are directly related to ADHD???? I didn't, but now I do. We eat super clean around here so we don't come into contact with much overly processed food, but the night before we had pink cupcakes at a birthday party, and the next morning, my son check out of reality. So heres the deal, maybe it was, maybe it wasn't, but for me its just one more thing that we all need to know about. There are so many dangers in the things we eat and this is just one. So I challenge you to check all the processed food in your pantries and get rid of anything with red dye in it. ESPECIALLY if you have a child who struggles with "post office type behavior", or a child that your sure might make you loose your mind. Then do some research. Don't take my word for it...just educate yourself!!!
Friday, January 14, 2011
Let's Talk Trash...or Not
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| Advice from guest contributor, CindyConner...AKA our EMG-Ma |
It’s our mouths. My mouth, your mouth, our kids mouths. I feel like a prudish ole fuddy duddy when I say this but so be it, it needs to be said. Are we really so illiterate and vocabulary challenged that we must revert to the base line expletives of a drunken sailor? [Editors Note: No Cindy...our brains just don't work fast enough to come up with anything intelligent due to lack of sleep...hehehehe]
My daughters will think this message is aimed at them and before the rest of you get defensive and go all judgmental on me, it is truly not YOUR tongues of which I speak. But if your hackles were rising as you read that last sentence, perhaps you too have room for some self-improvement. Just sayin'. It is my own short-comings that provoked this writing. I use the words 'your' and 'our' in the strictly hypothetical sense of those words. Honest.
I could be wrong here but I think I was a high-school senior before that mother of all bad words ever escaped across my lips. I was no Polly-pure-bred for sure and many other powerhouse obscenities were in my well-used arsenal but I don’t think even I was comfortable with the power packed F-word. Now as a 56-year-old grandmother I shamefully admit, even my oldest grandchildren have witnessed a foul example from granny’s mouth. When did this become ok?
I hear trash-talk from all walks of life. It seeps from the stereo of that miniature low riding car with the tinted windows who is waiting on a red light next to me at the intersection, I hear it at playgrounds, grocery stores, even a maintenance scheduler at a Nissan dealership in Billings Montana whispered it loudly at me when he became frustrated with his own mistake in the computer. Some times it’s considered funny when it shoots out of a toddler’s mouth. I personally am guilty of using it, simply for the humor and shock value. But on a personal level, I’m over it. It is low class at it’s finest and I’m raising the bar.
It becomes so routine and natural to just let it fly, there is no way to realize how many times on a given day we allow it, ever so casually to slide out of our mouths, until, inevitably….. out of the mouths of babes, our babes, it gets used loudly and appropriately. And yes, it is a reflection on us, on our example, on our very limited vocabulary, and on the low standards we have set for ourselves and our children in the privacy of our homes.
Our mouths are our most deadly and damaging weapons. Whether we use it to express ourselves profanely to blow off steam, or to hurt our spouse with cutting sarcasm, or assassinate another person's character with gossip, we are showing our kids what character is or isn't. I had a friend many years ago who had gone on and on to her husband one night about the ugly shoes his sister had bought that day when they shopped together. When her sister-in-law dropped in the next morning wearing said shoes, my friend gushed over them. When she finally took a breath, my friend's 4 year old son said, "No mom remember, you told daddy those were the ugliest shoes you had ever seen!" Awkward doesn't begin to describe this scene. Worst of all my friend's sister-in-law was genuinely crushed. We laugh at stories like this all the time but the reality of it is: "Sticks and stones can break my bones but your words can break my heart."
When my next door little grand boys have a sleep-over with me, they sometimes say "Gramma will you pray to Jesus?" when I tuck them in. I've had days when my answer should be, not with this mouth we can't. Seriously do you kiss your kids with that mouth?
I could be wrong here but I think I was a high-school senior before that mother of all bad words ever escaped across my lips. I was no Polly-pure-bred for sure and many other powerhouse obscenities were in my well-used arsenal but I don’t think even I was comfortable with the power packed F-word. Now as a 56-year-old grandmother I shamefully admit, even my oldest grandchildren have witnessed a foul example from granny’s mouth. When did this become ok?
I hear trash-talk from all walks of life. It seeps from the stereo of that miniature low riding car with the tinted windows who is waiting on a red light next to me at the intersection, I hear it at playgrounds, grocery stores, even a maintenance scheduler at a Nissan dealership in Billings Montana whispered it loudly at me when he became frustrated with his own mistake in the computer. Some times it’s considered funny when it shoots out of a toddler’s mouth. I personally am guilty of using it, simply for the humor and shock value. But on a personal level, I’m over it. It is low class at it’s finest and I’m raising the bar.
It becomes so routine and natural to just let it fly, there is no way to realize how many times on a given day we allow it, ever so casually to slide out of our mouths, until, inevitably….. out of the mouths of babes, our babes, it gets used loudly and appropriately. And yes, it is a reflection on us, on our example, on our very limited vocabulary, and on the low standards we have set for ourselves and our children in the privacy of our homes.
Our mouths are our most deadly and damaging weapons. Whether we use it to express ourselves profanely to blow off steam, or to hurt our spouse with cutting sarcasm, or assassinate another person's character with gossip, we are showing our kids what character is or isn't. I had a friend many years ago who had gone on and on to her husband one night about the ugly shoes his sister had bought that day when they shopped together. When her sister-in-law dropped in the next morning wearing said shoes, my friend gushed over them. When she finally took a breath, my friend's 4 year old son said, "No mom remember, you told daddy those were the ugliest shoes you had ever seen!" Awkward doesn't begin to describe this scene. Worst of all my friend's sister-in-law was genuinely crushed. We laugh at stories like this all the time but the reality of it is: "Sticks and stones can break my bones but your words can break my heart."
When my next door little grand boys have a sleep-over with me, they sometimes say "Gramma will you pray to Jesus?" when I tuck them in. I've had days when my answer should be, not with this mouth we can't. Seriously do you kiss your kids with that mouth?
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Bad attitude, I bid you adieu!
My toddler is on an emotional roller coaster. I am amazed that one moment he is crying like his world has just been shattered and the next, he is hysterically laughing through his tears. I used to wonder how in the world one person could go from such highs to such lows in a matter of seconds, but lately, I began to realize that I can be just like him. This is not something that is easy for me to admit. I pride myself in being like the line on a heart monitor of a dead person, straight, steady and consistent. But unfortunately when I stop and think about what I look like to my kids, I imagine they see me the same way I see them, like an emotional roller coaster! We can all be laughing one minute and then the next I am “freaking out” about a small mishap.
Being a mom is hard. Crazy hard. I spent many years in a stressful career and I realize after doing the mom thing for over 5 years now, this takes the cake for being much harder. (and to think I used to privately laugh when moms said that!) I am over worked, over stressed and over committed. I need sleep, good food and a chance to sit, for more than just writing this blog or playing cars. I think though what is really hitting me lately is that it is not my kid’s fault when I choose to have a short fuse. Ya, they can push my buttons, but I am a big girl, do they really deserve to be the brunt of my frustration? Do they ever deserve to be yelled at (I’m not talking discipline here) do they deserve my harsh disapproval? Never! (I want to point out that I am not a crazy yeller…just saying…) They deserve my loving correction and for my attitude to constantly be in check. I am the adult and though I continually get frustrated, I should just as continually be able to check how I am acting toward my kids. I tell my older child all the time that she is the older sister and she has to be nice…Well I am the oldest and I need to be nice!
I don’t want to assume that every mom struggles with this, but if you do I hope we can make this commitment together. I am going to check my attitude all day long. If I am frustrated, I am going to think about my reaction toward my kids. I am going to be “nice”. I am going to be that consistent person that I want to be. I will fail, but I will get back up, dust off, and get back in the game. (I want to point out that I am not suggesting that we be pushovers. I am a big fan of discipline, and parents being in charge…)
I’m assuming that at one time, most of us moms either begged God for children, or thanked Him when they arrived. I do not want to now be irritated by the things that I begged God for. I have them to enjoy and that is what I plan on doing, and I will do this by being in charge of MY ATTITUDE!
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