In my youth I couldn't have imagined the twists and turns, lumps, bumps, and seeds I would encounter through the years. In fact, I'm sure I never gave any thought to what I might be confronted with along my way. Its probably a good thing too, because if I had known some of the experiences I would walk through, I would have said, "No, thank you". But the older I get, the more I realize those experiences I would have refused are the very ones which produced the most growth, and ultimately the most beauty in my life.



     One unexpected experience was the birth of my son, Noah, who has Down Syndrome. Up to the time of Noah's birth, I had no experience or familiarity with Trisomy 21. This was a good thing for me, because I had no expectations or knowledge of worrisome details. I began to learn about Down Syndrome as I fell in love with my beautiful baby boy. I took things in stride without any anxiety about what might or might not happen in his life.....it didn't occur to me that I should have any concerns about what life might look like for him, me, or his siblings. We all accepted Noah just as he presented himself to us... and we continue to do so today. This was all good.



     However, as Noah began to get a little older, the reality of challenges presented by his disability became more apparent. Learning has been difficult for a variety of reasons. Good educational programs have been few and far between... this has been a true heartache for me. Self-care is an ongoing challenge, even though Noah has some skills in this area. And now, at 19 years of age, Noah is out of school and participating in a transition program... but its very unclear what we are transitioning to, or how well prepared he will be for life beyond school. This brief menu of issues are all things to which I would have said, "No, thank you".



        No parent would choose to have a child with a disability. And noone would fault a parent for admitting that they are struggling, and often wishing their child didn't have such challenges.... life is tough enough when all is well, even tougher to face when little things require supreme effort. But I have found my life to be enriched because of the efforts involved in raising Noah. I work in the field of Early Childhood Special Education because of Noah... I am able to positively impact parents of children with special needs because of Noah.... my other 7 children are compassionate and sensitive to others with challenges because of Noah... I have a great catalog of funny stories because of Noah.... I get a kick out of really quirky stuff because of Noah..... I am a better person because of Noah.



      I believe some of my most powerful growth has come as a result of raising Noah. And I am certain I would have said "No, thank you", if the challenges had been laid out before me. In fact, I know myself well enough to say I would not ever choose the more difficult path if given the choice. I am happy to report I have learned the value of struggle, hardship, and disappointment. I might not always smile the whole way, but I have learned to appreciate how the tough stuff paves the way for joy, growth, and beauty.



     Struggle can serve to bring out the best in us.... enlarge our hearts.... strengthen our spirits.... embolden our self-confidence. So when faced with something hard and you want to say, "No, thank you", just remember you might be getting an opportunity of a lifetime that you don't want to miss. Then smile to yourself.

And one more thing..we love to hear your stories and comments below...and could you share us with your friends?? We love ya for it!!

     Vacations are a glorious thing!  We save for months, plan for what feels like ages, and go on them, with high hopes, big dreams and chaos in tow!  Reality sets in usually within 23 min of a car ride in our world of "vacationing"....



     I'm sorry but I have to quickly detour and go back a few years "pre-child" to get the full pict.  I have so many great memories of places like, Florida, England, Israel, Mexico, ski trips, backpacking trips, Hawaii, and disneyland a 100 times over...Ya, now those are vacations....Now lets fast forward to recent history....vacations in the past few years more resemble a family of ten moving across country, ya know, by the time you pack strollers, porta cribs, back packs, costco size diaper boxes and 8 changes of closes per person per day!  And the term vacation, well lets just say I'm sad to report that staying on a cold, windy beach where the drive is within 3 hours because we can't make it any further, that is now vacation!

   I alway try to look at the positive though, so today I have come up with a list of why "vacations with babies and toddlers really are a great thing".  Please make sure to add to the list that I have started, we would love to know how much you love traveling with littles ones too!



My kids learn new vocabulary words...like "moron, and idiot" (in reference to people who drive white Cadillacs and swerve around cars lined up 13 deep on narrow forest roads!)  Ya, some guy just did that...I thought it was so cool that he was willing to risk all of our lives so that he could get there 3 min faster!  Moron!  Oops...said it again!

Gourmet food for every meal! Oh how I love Red Robin and Applebees for days on end!  Lets get real here, people don't like kids in any other restaurant and to try to enjoy a decent meal, means being in a decent restaurant, and we all know how fun that is with little ones!



Swimming, swimming and more swimming.  Now this in itself is actually a pretty fun event, but honestly paying $163 a night at a hotel so they can swim for countless hours and never want to leave to go do anything else, well that is crazy!  (Unless your a kid who thinks everything is free!)



Countless hours of rest and relaxation!  And by this I mean having to sit in a dark hotel room for two hours mid day trying to force naps, and turning lights out by 8:30 PM because the kids go to bed then.  It's so fun sitting in the dark staring out the window at the other adults out for an evening on the town, while you sit in silence so your kids don't wake up!



Coffee!  Ok so this is a great thing for real...hotel lobbies that have coffee on 24/7, now that is my kind of vacation!



Movies, movies and more movies.  I have to preface this one by saying that when I was young, we didn't  have to wear seat-belts and so mom and dad would throw us kids in the back of the wood paneled station wagon and cruse the 12 hours to Southern Cali with no problem.  Now, my children have to be strapped in car seats like nascar drivers and since they don't have the option of building tents while we drive, they get to watch more T.V. !   Here's the thing, cartoons can get on my nerves, but when I can only hear them? oh this is enough to drive me freakin crazy!  Especially the time they watched a cartoon with Roseanne Barr as the main "cow" character...I think I might have thrown that one out the window!



Money....lets face it, when it comes to vacationing, there is no way to put a "positive spin" on this one!  Does anyone else think that it is totally ludicrous (thank goodness for spell check!) that you have to practically refinance your home to take a family of 4 to a theme park, museum, water park, or zoo?  Seriously, do the people who run these places sit down and think "how can we get people to have to steal from their kids college fund in order to get them here??"  And all of that money just to have to leave within 2 hours because jr. peed his pants, sissy is cold, daddy is grumpy from lack of food and mommy was in charge of packing everything for everyone for the entire week with no freaking help from anyone because she is always in charge of everything no matter if she is at home or half way across the %&^*#@* country!!!!  (insert throat clearing and shirt adjustment here)



ok, so enough about my vacations...

Lets hear about yours!!!  

We will even give a set of 

"travel essential" 

Earth Monkey gear to a random commenter with a great addition to this post! 

Bring it home sisters!  (literally!)

...psst... she has three boys too... so she's familiar with the funk!

"...you have to..."

Sometimes I resent the things I "have" to do in a day... and for no real reason at all I get myself into a mommy funk. So when my three year old says for the 7000th time "Mom, You have to..." instead of correcting him and modeling the words he should say... I get right down on his level and say... "I don't HAVE to do anything." (Insert head bob and finger wave here) ... at which point he ignores my attitude and repeats himself... and I just end up doing what he's asking me to do anyway ... but with a grudge. It's funny how fast I forget how blessed I am to HAVE to do so many mundane and sometimes down right disgusting things... hey I live with four boys remember:):)



It was two years ago this past Sunday that my husband CJ and I moved our family back to Southern Oregon. We left our house still on the market just outside of Portland and lost every dime of our savings we had invested in that place. It was the lowest point in our lives together... a newborn baby and two special boys who had just been diagnosed with PDD-NOS (a form of autism). We were broke, broken and honestly at times I felt hopeless... A lot of you already know this story... already know my heart ache of mourning the sons I thought we were going to have and learning to love and celebrate the amazing boys God made them to be... many of you already know that we lost everything and lived with my parents for nine months relying on food stamps and family to help us through one of the darkest chapters of our lives. It was humiliating and earth shattering and beautiful all at once.



It's amazing how things can change in two years. I wish I could say we weren't still reeling from the aftermath of that disaster. What I can say is that if I had the chance to wipe it all out.. to get to skip that portion of our lives... I WOULDN'T THINK OF IT.



While I don't wish dark times on ANYONE... ever... I have to say it's what grows us... it's what gives us perspective and grace for people and situations we may have stood in judgement of before. Without pain I don't think we can fully experience compassion... without struggle and suffering we really have no reason to grow.

...my love...

My husband and I have decided that we want to do something every 3rd of July to remember where we were and to marvel at how far God has brought us. How the rough stuff bound us together... if even just barely by a thread at times... we got through it with a deeper connection and love than we ever knew possible. And that my friends is worth celebrating!



I love remembering the fact that it was only two short years ago that I was praying for this very home... even knowing about the black mold, old windows, draftiness and bug "situation"... I dreamed of how our family would grow and thrive in this place... and we have. It's remembering July 3rd, 2009 that brings me out of my "mommy funks" and reminds me to celebrate all the the things I GET to do for my friends and family and amazing boys who are doing better than ever.



Perspective is everything... it's so easy to lose... and sometimes so painful to gain. What do you GET to do today?

Katie... married her college sweetheart, and together they continue in youth ministry. Last year they left her hometown and moved with their two daughters to Southern Oregon to start a young adult ministry at Table Rock Fellowship.







The past year feels like a mountain. I’ve been slowing scaling it, step after step, with my husband and my side, my kids in tow. I wont go into the details of all that has happened, because most of you know and the rest of you don’t want to know. It’s been the hardest climb of my life. We're climbing this mountain because it’s the path we’ve chosen. It’s what we know is right. And it hasn’t been easy. It’s been full of ravines that we have managed to climb out of, and full of cliffs that we have managed NOT to fall off of.

I could spend all my time looking back down the mountain. I can see it all if I look behind. I can see the place where I was when I got the first phone call. I can see the pile of stones I sat upon when mom passed away. I can see the places my family collapsed to rest. Further up still, the places I stood when other news came my way. More phone calls, more conversations, more stabs in my heart. If I let myself, I could crawl into those memories and just let them darken my soul.



Or I could look up and take in everything else I can see from way up here. When I see the light of the sun on my children’s faces, I feel my heart lighten. When I lean against my husband’s arm and breathe deep of the air up here, clean and clear, I feel my burden lessen. When I look up, I see beauty.



I’m not just surviving anymore. I’m thriving. I’m growing. My family with me. It’s up to me really, how I react to these things that continue to happen. Because life is messy. Because people are messy. And things look even messier when I look down, when I focus on all that has happened, all that has been done to me. But, when I lift my eyes up to the mountains, to the sunrise, to the horizon, from this high place on which God has brought me . . . I see where my help comes from. I see how far I have come. I see how far He wants to take me.



And I can keep going. Not just dragging, but running. Leaping. Climbing vigorously. Celebrating. Suddenly, the climb is not about all that I’m leaving behind, but about all that I am going towards. I get stronger as I climb. As I look up. Those glances back are healthy. They are healing. As long as I look forward again when I’m done.



So hand in hand we walk, my family and I. Climbing upward. I’ll remember everything from this time. My husband will as well. We’ll treasure these things in our heart. I don’t know how much my kids will remember from this time. I hope they don’t remember the meltdowns I had. I hope they wont remember just the pain of loss and change, but how we got through it. How we tried to keep our focus on what was true, and pure, and good, and hopeful. That God never changes. I hope they’ll remember this when their own climb gets hard someday.



But for now, I hope we all learn to enjoy the view. That we learn to play, leaping from rock to rock instead of complaining about the hurdles. That we get stronger from this time, because it wont always be this way. Someday we’ll get to soar. And I want to be ready for that when it comes.

I've never been a really "crunchy" or "granola" type mom... in fact I've never used those words to describe anything about me... except as the food I so very much like to eat:) I've shared before that when faced with the choice between "green" or convenient, if I'm being honest, I don't always choose green.... (insert judgmental gasp here) This probably isn't the trendiest confession to make on Earth Day... it's not very green of me... but it is the truth.



As I navigate this "Great Green Transition"... much like with weight loss and spiritual health... I have to remind myself daily that it's not about the guilt of not being good enough or backsliding... it's about making small choices everyday to be who I need to be...



I live in a 1958, all original, cinder block home... I drive a 2002 dirty old mini-van with a door that will only shut if I put all 160 pounds of me into closing it. My kids live in hand me downs and almost every large purchase we've made (including a house) has come from from craigslist. "USED" is the name of the game at our house... I wish I could brag that we chose this lifestyle because we are urban chic and so "reUsey"... well no I don't that would just be annoying. This is how we live out of necessity... and the cool thing is that it's "Green" by default. The truth is I think we are programmed to buy too much of stuff we don't need. Our lives are filled with excess and waste which then inundates our landfills with huge amounts of packaging and too many disposable products that have been chosen for convenience over eco-friendliness. (I'm talking to me... not preaching at you... I promise:)



So, whether you're a "green" beginner like me, or a seasoned crunchy, granola mom, Earth Monkeys has come up with a challenge for us all. One convenience that Gena and I have given up (for obvious reasons) is to stop using disposable bibs and changing pads. We are well stocked with our own Earth Monkeys Gear and because they are lightweight and compact there is really no reason to buy the disposable products.



Today we're asking you to join the Earth Monkeys ReUse Revival and commit to not using disposable bibs and changing pads... This isn't a sales pitch... Use our stuff or use your own faves... but today in celebrating the beautiful creation we've been blessed with... take a small step with us and sign up to be a part of the revival.  Small steps do make a difference!



Here's the thing... There can be no revival if no one knows about it... so today in honor of Earth Day I will be doing three random giveaways for people who take the ReUse Revival Pledge.... And here's a bonus if you take the pledge and share this post we will send you two bibs OR changing pads OR paci packs (you can choose what would work best for your monkey) 1 for you and one for a friend. CLICK HERE to take the pledge now!



But wait there's more.. ahahaha... no this isn't an infomercial... just a way for us to say thank you for being so great and we love you... Today on our Earth Monkeys Facebook page every hour on the hour until 8 PM tonight we will be posting amazing discounts and deals on all Earth Monkey Gear... Each deal will only be good for that hour... We are really proud of the fact that our gear is made from recycled plastic bottles... we're taking old "trash" and making it something useful... it's our small step to make a positive impact on our beautiful planet. Happy Earth Day!

     Remember the time before you were a mother, or even the first bit into your motherhood journey when you thought you had all of the answers?  When you would say things like "I will never...",  "I can't believe that mother is doing...", or "I will always...".  Well personally, I am at the stage where all of those are coming back to bite me in the butt!  The one I am living now relates to a time when I used to think that the terrible two's were a myth and anyone experiencing them had obviously created this little monster by their lack of parenting skills.  Well...you guessed it...I have one of those 2 year olds!  You see, my daughter was an ANGEL (I'm sure there are things I am forgetting) but my son; well he is another story for sure.  I won't go into the details, but suffice it to say that the list I have started, has been made out of a necessity for us both to survive this horrific challenging time.  You noticed I said "started" this list?  Well that is because I am leaving it up to you all to finish it.  I am begging you to add to it because heavens knows that I need all of the help I can get!!  So here we go...

Lindsay and I with our two toddlers... oh and she has another one!!   and don't let the cute faces fool you!

  



  











     My career as a hairdresser has changed from a pre-child 40+ hour a week crazy fest to a one day a week "vacation" from my really hard job as a stay at home mom.  Every once in a while, I get to do a special style for a client heading out for a big night, and for this, they end up at my home.  This particular client was in her mid 30's not married, and no children but would someday like it all.  Her hair took me about 30 min. and in that amount of time, she came to the conclusion that being at my home made her "hit the snooze button on her biological clock".  I think I know why...



     My 21/2 year old is proudly pottie trained, and I'm not ashamed to admit that nudity and bribery were my main tactics in accomplishing this.  I often wonder how every pottie moment has created a line at the pantry with everyone expecting a marshmallow and every poopie followed by the excitement of suckers for the whole house.  Really?  HE is the one doing all the work and somehow HIS reward has become an expectation for everyone???  I'm hoping that this will end by the time my kids are 15 and 18 because there is just something kind of weird about the thought of them both running in announcing what he just did in the bathroom at that age???  I don't know, just a thought.





     And what it is up with all the flippin whining???  Really, this one could be the one to totally send me over the edge!!!  All I want is one second in my day when I'm not hearing a voice so high it breaks glasses!  And the endless  begging for something they just cant have; really, this is a sanity killer!  Seriously, how many times will I have to say "I am not going to do anything when you are whining...use your big boy / girl voice"...you'd think they would get it after the 1000th time!  Sometimes I'd like to crawl into a corner, ( or better yet an sound proof closet) cover my ears and rock back and forth in the fetal position.  Will it ever end?



     Why, Why Why Why Why Why...your already sick of it hu?  I know that I am not the first mom to hear a 100 why's, even before breakfast...and I also I'm not the first one to have to admit to saying those stupid words we swore we would never say (before we had kids) "Because I said so!".  Yep I've started saying em!  I think I gasped when I heard them come out of my mouth the first time, but at some point, there simply are no more answers!  "Mom, why is that worm on the cement; because the rain pushed him there...why didn't he go back to the dirt; because it was a long ways away...why is he not moving; because he is dead...why is he dead; because the water is gone...why is the water gone; because it dried up...why did the water dry up; because it sunny...why is it sunny; because God thought we needed sun...why did God think we needed sun; BECAUSE I SAID SO!" why, why, why!  This was a real conversation my friends, and after 30 of these conversations...ya, you get why I have resorted to because I said so!!!





Speaking of whining...We have to beg you all one more time...we are up for a chance to win $25,000 with The Green Awards that would allow us to do amazing things with our Earth Monkey line!!!  But we need all of your votes!!!  You can vote daily (you only have to log in once) and if we could get you all to do us this favor, we will never ask for anything again!  (um ya right!)  Thanks for your support!!!!

Earth Monkeys.com

How about this...We will give a bib to one person that is, or becomes a google follower, votes for us at the Green Awards, then comments below and tell us you did it and give us a "snooze button" story.  I think you can all do that, we know your smart!!

Our guest contributor Delores, has been a single mom of 8 kids since 1998, when her marriage of 22 years ended. Since that time, she has completed a Masters in Early Intervention/Early Childhood Special Education and began working with Child Development Services in Medford, Oregon in September of 2000. Her message is one of optimism, hope, and tenacity. She tries to be easy on herself, and not take things too seriously, and so humor is the vehicle she rides every day through life. She is currently working on planning the "Next Best Thing" in her life.... hoping to develop her own blog and pursue professional speaking.



So, you ask, exactly what branch of the service or other line of work requiring a uniform is your son involved with? "Aha", says me, 'there's the rub". You see, the uniform is the term my son's siblings and I have affectionately given to the series of T-shirts and jeans he chooses to wear until the clothing is literally WORN OUT. I mean, TOTALLY... no butt remaining in the jeans, no knees, a plethora of holes, and t-shirts which have deteriorated to the point where they are actually rags of cloth held together by neck binding and side seams.



Noah is my 19 year old who experiences Down Syndrome and Autism. For those of you familiar with either challenge, you can certainly appreciate this scenario. The bottom line with Noah is that he is clear about what he likes, and doesn't like. He also loves the familiar.... especially his favorite shirt and jeans. He will make a choice about what he wants to wear, and will want to wear it EVERY SINGLE DAY. Oi Vey !!!!!!! (or Ai Yi Yi, or Holy Crap !!!) I have to be honest here and confess that this used to drive me CRAZY. I have had to sneak the clothing away while he was in the tub in order to get it into the washing machine... he has even picked through the clothes hamper to get his uniform out before I've been able to wash it.... he has also pulled it out of the dryer before it was dry. YIKES !!!



So, what's my point? Well, I'm getting to that. One day I just had enough of the uniform and simply had to figure out a better way. My choice was to become very creative and flexible and approach this situation a little differently. I mean, it was getting pretty bad... I refused to let him out of the house in "THE UNIFORM", and he planted his feet and refused to take it off. This battle was raging out of control and something had to change. I decided to resort to bribery, and more importantly, change my approach. I appealed to Noah's love of Diet Coke and his status as a then 16 year old DUDE. I attempted to reason with him by cutting a deal, which went like this. "So listen up, Noah. You can wear your Uniform anytime you are home, but when you leave the house for ANY reason, you have to change into "COOL DUDE CLOTHES". If you cooperate and make this good choice, you will receive a Diet Coke. Whaddaya think about that?????" Fortunately, he really liked this plan, and believe it or not we NEVER have any more fights about what he will wear when leaving the house. And I make sure that I never forget to buy the Diet Coke.



But wait, it gets even better than that!!!!! One day not too long ago, the unthinkable, the unimaginable, the unfathomable happened. Noah walked up to me, uniform jeans in hand, full of holes, threadbare, strings hanging at the ankles..... held them up to me and asked for NEW JEANS !!!! "WHAT????", I yelled in astonishment..... "You want to go shopping for new jeans? Quick, put your shoes on, Dude.... we're goin' to TJ Max !".. This was HUGE. This was a FIRST. Noah made the choice, on his own, to change, to grow, to break out. I was thrilled beyond thrilled because this was not MY idea. But on his own terms, in his own time, Noah made a huge forward leap... and growth happened. I was so proud of him.



Ok, ok, here's my point. I called this little rant "Choices, Choices, Choices" because I can. But also because life is full of choices every single day. We can choose to fight the same battles in the same ways and end up with the same results (by the way, this is the definition of insanity...been there, done that), or we can choose to adjust, change our battle plan and experience a better outcome. Growth happens when we choose to actively participate in life. I chose to address my frustration over the uniform fiasco by appealing to my son's love of Diet Coke (sneaky) and his appreciation for being a "Cool Dude". I learned something about him, but mostly about myself.... that I needed to chill out and find a way to make peace with the uniform in a mutually beneficial way. WHEW ! Sure am glad it worked out, cuz I was hating that battle. I also learned that Noah could come to a good decision on his own if given the right encouragement. I am so impressed with him.



You guys have opportunities to make choices about how to do things with your children every single day. The possibilities are dizzying !!!! But the best part is that you even get to have a choice to make. Think of it... you ALWAYS have a choice.... that should help you feel so empowered. It certainly helps me to know this. I like being the one to have that much control in my life. During the crumb gobbling growing up years of my 8 monkeys, I didn't always realize I had so much power. As a result, I would feel discouraged, frustrated, out numbered, unappreciated, exhausted.... well, not all the time, and not every day, but hopefully you get my point. It was HARD !!! But, I did start to learn that I could feel differently just by choosing to work on my attitude, looking for the good in little things, and taking the time to smell the roses (not just the poopy diapers). You are all doing a GREAT job... keep up the good work. And remember, your days can be brighter, funnier, more fulfilling, and lots more just as a result of your choices; and don't forget that Noah got new jeans, 'cuz he made a choice.



Are you an Earth Monkeys' Friend yet on facebook? The giveaway today is posted there... so you have to be a friend to win... I know we're sneaky that way huh??:)

Babe, do you want me to help???

  

     This is a question I never thought that I would have to ask my husband.  Not when it came to us getting pregnant anyway....

Oh what a journey it was; trying to start a family... tests, turkey basters, adoptions falling through, and countless broken hearts!



     I remember the morning like it was yesterday.  It was "the day"!  The sun was shining, the birds were singing and I was OVULATING!!!  It was our  first try at artificial insemination and my sweet husband (oh he is going to kill me for this one!) had to "do his part".  I'm sure a lot of men would love having to do this, but not my modest man...he wont even say words like "fart, diarrhea, or gas" so for him "collecting sperm" was not at the top of his to do list that day!  I offered to help, but it was either out of embarrassment, or the fact that he got to act like a teenager again (tmi?) that he hung his head and went into the other room to do his business by himself.  I wont go into much more detail here, but lets just say he darted out the door with a glass jar full of his little swimmers, in a triple wrapped paper bag with masking tape locking it shut, tucked under his armpit to keep them warm.  I'm not sure if all the extra wrapping was out of embarrassment or because he thought they might try to escape?  Anyway...

  

     Apparently, the embarrassment only got worse when he entered the lab and was greeted by a very attractive lab tech, who asked if she could help him.  According to him, he said no thanks, and sat down to wait around for a slightly homelier tech that he wouldn't mind handing the glass jar of his goods to!  Oh how I would have liked to have been there for that one!

  

     I ceased to feel sorry for him though when a couple hours later it was my turn.  I guess in the lab, they do some fancy schmancy separating of the sperm and get the good ones...the nurse was especially excited about the one with the 2 tails or something crazy like that!  She was pretty sure, as I laid there spread eagle with a turkey baster up my Hoo Hoo that that one was going to be the one make it to the prize!  Guess she was wrong...



     After 3 tries, I had had enough.  Every month before and after the Dr. trying to "help", it was the same thing.  I'd start "my special girl time" (thats what we call it around here) the tears would break loose, and my heart would do the same.  I would cry to God, or more accurately, to my shame yell at him at the total unfairness that a 16 year old drug user could conceive, but me this perfect person (um ya right) could not!  Honestly, there were a good many times, I am surprised lightening didn't blast down onto my head as I sat there on my toilet cursing God!  Oh man how I wish I didn't have to admit to this!



     My journey is one that I could tell an entirely too long of a story about, this is just a tiny fraction of it, and if you have been there, you know words could never fully capture the true struggle.



     I am more excited to tell you about the two children that we did end up with through adoption.  Their stories are ones of miracles and blessings, pain and tears.  I will tell them as best as I can someday...but today I just wanted to throw this part out there to all of you who have struggled with infertility, or do currently.  It is hard. One of the hardest things I have ever been through.  I will not be giving advice, or trying to make it all better; I don't think thats even possible.  I just want you all to know that there are a bunch of us out there and we need each other.  I wish that I could have had someone who truly understood what I was going through!  If you know someone on this journey, just listen.  Don't try to give great advice...it doesn't work.  If you are going through it, I send you a hug that would maybe be tight enough to squeeze out a bit of your hurt!



We would love for you to share us with anyone you think needs a good dose of mommy reality!  Thanks for your support!



We are excited to announce that we will now gift wrap and direct ship your Earth Monkey treasures to your favorite mama to be (or mama is)!!!  To celebrate, this week we are offering free gift wrapping!!!  One week only, so don't wait!

The night I met my husband C.J., I knew he was "The One." I was supposed to go buy a plane ticket for Buenos Aires the very next day and had to tell the friend I was moving there with that I couldn't because I had met my husband. Mind you I had barely talked to the man... seriously I think I may have muttered one sentence... but I knew.  So, after stalking him (but still not talking to him) for three months he finally asked me out. We dated for three months before he proposed and we got married three months after that. We were so incredibly in love.



That was 10 years ago... We were married for 5 years before we had kids. We camped and hiked, we volunteered and traveled. One time we drove to Baja on a whim, just because we could. It's weird though because I don't really remember life before kids... it's kind of like a dream that only seems vaguely familiar. Now our idea of crazy is staying awake through an entire episode of Parenthood on Tuesday nights.



C.J. and I have just come through the biggest test of our marriage... kids being diagnosed with autism, changing cities, changing jobs... losing our life savings to the housing crash... a second miscarriage...  I would like to say we've made it through without any cuts or bruises... I would like to say that lovin' feelin' has never wavered... but it wouldn't be the truth. We did make it and our love is solid, there's no doubt about that, it's just been a long time since it's been light and fun and exciting like it used to be. I know we're not alone in this... I know we're not the only couple who has been taken over by life, and chaos and drama and forgotten how to put each other first along the way.



Right before the new year we sat down and decided to map out our marriage with goals and timelines and plans... yes, we are the biggest dorks alive. We knew it was important to decide what we wanted our relationship to look like, instead of continuing to just survive ... letting life dictate the state of things. We started praying together again, we reinstated date night (thanks to my precious mama for watching the monkeys) and agreed to give each other the G-word (no it's not a dirty sex thing, get your mind out of the gutter)... I'm talking about GRACE... which can, consequently, lead to a dirty sex thing because when you spend less time fighting there is a lot more time to do "other" things:) ahahahaha!



I don't know if things will ever be as easy and light hearted as they were when we first got married... and I don't know if I want them to be. We've been though so much, and our love runs so deep. We've seen God do miraculous things and we've been through heart breaking season's together... I think  the best we can do for each other is keep trying, and never give up on making each other a priority... even when the dog pukes on the carpet, and the kids are crying and crawling up my legs... when the phone won't stop ringing and one of the boys has squirted out an entire tube of toothpaste...when we can't even finish a sentence without being interrupted by "excuse me, I just burped three times and it was really funny." We need to let each other know that we are valued and important... I think that's enough for me. Too many marriages end when the light hearted good times end... and even though it's different now, I know what's still to come will only make our love better and richer and stronger.



What does this have to do with Eat. Pray. Love??? I have no clue... I just like the title:) I never saw the movie or read the book...  but I like to eat and a good marriage takes lots of prayer and love right?:)



Today, in the midst of working, wiping butts and doing the dishes I'm going to remember that in the beginning there was just us... I chose him and he chose me... Today I am going to do one thing... even if it's small to let him know that he's my priority... like he used to be.