My dream as a child was to travel the world, possibly join the Peace Corp, and ultimately write for National Geographic. It definitely wasn’t to chase kids around all day, changing diapers, doing dishes, cleaning up dog vomit and then the laundry…how the hell is there so much laundry in this house? I wear the same jeans three days in a row, hey don’t judge, they fit the best after day two, I would go four, but with my kids, there could be any number of things stuck to them, so even three days is pushing it, anyhow where was I?



Oh yeah, okay so my dream…right, I always wanted to be a mom, I just didn’t realize how much work it is to be a parent! I kinda thought that being a parent would be easy and fun. I thought that babies were so precious and slept “like babies” (who ever thought of that saying, obviously never had children). I thought it would be like the commercials, or the movies. Oh cute baby, magically turns into cute toddler, yes there are terrible twos, but everyone laughs about those, and then they become little kids who you can explore with and have fun with and play board games with, then the teenage years, coming of age, high school football games, first loves, chasing boyfriends out of bedroom windows, then college, then weddings, then magically I would be old and have my whole family, four children, my wonderful husband, the great grandparents all sitting around the Thanksgiving table, smiling in awe as I (who am in this vision, amazingly beautiful BTW) bring out an enormous turkey and set it down on our lavishly long table.





The reality is kinda depressing, so I won’t go into it too much. Wait that can’t be right? It isn’t depressing it’s just… work. None of it is easy. Being woken up every two hours by a newborn is enough to make even the strongest men and women cry. Potty training a toddler, or trying not to KILL everyone who gives you parenting advice, that you NEVER ask for - is work. Just the day to day, waking, diaper, breakfast, cleaning hands, faces, tables, feet (really how did you get that on your foot??), play time, monitoring while trying to get any amount of housework done, trying to be successful as something other than a mother (yeah good luck), ending fights, cleaning spills, more diapers, more meals, more laundry, putting on a smile when the husband gets home… it goes on and on, and only a parent can truly understand. Only someone who has been in those dark moments in the middle of the night, while a colicky baby screams for hours and hours and there is nothing you can do to stop it will understand what I mean by… how did I get here?



Maybe it’s just that no one really sees the efforts of a parent until those efforts are not there. Think about it, who are the families on the news? Who make the headlines? It’s always when something goes wrong. For the rest of the parents out there, there is no pat on the back, no one really says, “hey you’re doing a really good job.” It’s only when we aren’t doing our jobs that people notice. Think about it, when you see a child misbehaving in a store, or a child who desperately needs a bath…do we ever really pay attention when the mom with the clean, cute well behaved kids, comes through the door?



It reminds me of a story I heard once, it was about this little town and the one water source in the town was a stream. At the source of the water was a man who maintained the stream, he cleaned it, made sure there were no impurities, he took care of it for everyone. However, one year a new mayor was elected and he decided that paying this man to maintain the stream was ridiculous. So he cut the job, because really how hard is it for a stream to stay clean? Well within a few months people began getting sick, the water became cloudy, it smelled and was undrinkable, no one really understood what had happened, except the one man who once was the keeper of the stream. He was unappreciated, no one knew what he did, when his job was on the line, people criticized him for how much he had been paid for “doing nothing.” And now they all paid the price for not understanding and not valuing his work.





So no, this wasn’t my dream. Are you kidding, I just mowed all the weeds around our house for the last 2 hours, to get a BREAK! But this is my job, raising kids, taking care of the house, instilling values, making sure the clothes are clean and that everyone is eating enough vegetables. Yup that’s my job. It’s not glamorous (I just had a talk with my five year old about where we put our boogers). But it’s my job.



I am a writer, but first and foremost I am a mom, whether that works with my deadlines or not (usually not). I try to be a good wife, a good friend, a good daughter, a good member of society, a good pet owner…uhg so many responsibilities…but I have to remember that no matter what, right now, being a parent is my number one job. If I don’t do that then everything around me will fall apart too. I am responsible for the outcome of two little girls. Will they be successful adults, will they want to be smart and become contributing members of society? That is my job, and no one around me may understand the value of it, but I have to remember the value, because as soon as I forget, I can guarantee that all those people who didn’t see “what the big deal was” will be complaining about how my horrible parenting is! And then I’ll be blamed for the community falling apart. Okay so they might not be saying that, but it sure does feel like it when someone criticizes how you parent - doesn’t it.



We are all “the keeper of the stream.” It’s true, my kids…your kids…are the water, the lifeline, the future - of our communities. Raising them well, is something to be proud of. So no matter how much those long, never ending nights last, no matter how many diapers, or how many loads of laundry, I’ll try to remember that I’m making a difference. No one may ever say “thank you” for all of my hard work, in fact they probably won’t, and that’s why it’s even more important that I know I’m making a difference.



You are too by the way...has anyone told you today that you’re making a difference in the future of our society? Has anyone told you that you have a purpose? No?





Well you are. So thank you for changing the diapers, and cleaning the sink. Thank you for reading to your kids, thank you for kissing them goodnight…thank you for doing the hardest job you’ll ever love, wait that’s the Peace Corp – and I hear they let you sleep in the Peace Corp… SEE being a parent is even harder, and one day if you don’t already, you will love it.







Shauna... is a stay at home mom of two girls, she's the author of the "Waypoint" book series, and her personal blog"Breathe, Smile, Pray...Repeat." Her girls keep her on her toes, and have been the inspiration for many blog posts, here and on BSPR. She's just an ordinary mom trying to master the most natural job in the world.

Check out Shauna' sites:

www.waypointbookseries.com

www.breathesmileprayrepeat.blogspot.com

     My own kids must have had one of those sibling pow-wows (behind my back) and came to some kind of unanimous conclusion that they would never say one of my own (unoriginal) one liners: "Because I said so!". I used to have a picture hanging in my kitchen of a mother hen with a lot of babies under her wings and the caption read: "I'm the mommy that's why." They didn't give me grief over that one but evidently they really disliked 'because I said so.' Who knew?? I'm fairly sure when your little ones grow up they too will throw some of your mommy-isms back at you. I, for one, am hoping they do. :o)

     I have this super cool wall in my house that I painted with chalkboard paint.  It is either filled up announcing a birthday, holiday, special event deep thought or a scripture.  It is almost always covered partially in kids drawings, and currently it has a scripture on it from Colossians 3, that reads...(an abbreviation from the original text..)

Put aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander and abusive speech from your mouth!

Lay aside: the old, evil self= put on the new self!  Be renewed!!!



     This verse has been there for a month or so and was originally put up by me when I was just being short and nasty to my sweet husband for no real reason.  I needed that reminder to stop being ugly with my words and attitude!  Now...for even more honesty!

  

     I had been husbandless for a couple of days; just a side note: hats off to you mamas doing this solo!  You are heroes!  Can I just add another side note before I continue without this whole thing feeling like one big side note??  I love my family and my children with so much passion it hurts my innermost being.  They are a part of me, even though they are not from my body.  My arms ache for them, and I am only complete because of them.  That being said...

     I had been husbandless for a couple of days when mama "snapped".  I won't give all the reasons why my snap felt justified, but it happened after many days of arguing, whining, crying, and straight up irritation.  I took the kids to bed and they started arguing about who wanted me to "tuggle" them first.  I know it sounds silly, but it was like the straw that broke the camels back...I just couldn't handle it!  I got up and said "I don't want to snuggle anyone, I just want to be alone" and I walked out.  Thats when it hit me, like a punch in the face, I walked right toward the wall.  I knew right at that moment that the verse, was still there for me; but this time, it was about my attitude toward my kids.

     You see, I have been justifying my shortness, my irritation and my bad attitude by saying "I have a crazy frustrating terrible 2 year old boy, and an only slightly less frustrating 6 year old girl".  But is that a good justification? or is it that  I have let my attitude go to a really ugly place?   As I stood and stared at the verse, I realized that I had to start right at the moment to do exactly what I had resolved to do toward my husband..to put aside anger, wrath, malice, slander and abusive speech.  To lay aside the old, evil self and put on the new self.  Be renewed.

     For me though, this is not a one time commitment to myself.  This is an ongoing, moment by moment choice to put on the new self.    I don't have a 12 step plan to follow, I don't have a contract to sign or a long speech to make.  Just a simple story on how the only way I can change my attitude, is to allow my heart to be renewed.  For me, this involves praying for change and allowing my heart to be softened and for my ugly self to be renewed to a soft, and patient mommy for my kids.  They deserve it.  

     This is not a lecture for anyone today, or even a "how to" post, but a simple dose of honesty that is hard to admit to, but necessary for my growth.  I know it's hard to raise kids...it's easier to be at work all day (I know, I do it both!)  but it is my most important job I will ever do.  I will never be perfect at it, but I will put aside my anger, wrath, malice, slander and abusive speech, I will put on a new self.  For me and my family;



     I turned away from the wall, walked back into my kids room, apologized, snuggled first with my baby girl, then climbed in bed with my little walking hunk of frustration.  Through half closed eyes he whispered to me "I love you sooo much..." as they closed the rest of the way he finished with "we have a family".

All I could do was cry.

Thank you God, for these little miracles that I in no way deserve.  Thank you for giving me renewed patience, and thank you for renewing my heart.

Sugarpie Cosmetics... A lovely tube of lipgloss

Eco Chic Hand Knits... Organic cotton face scrubbies

T-Aroma... $20 gift certificate for yummy bath goodies

Eco Glo Minerals... full size jar of shimmer eye shadow 

Dabrowski Designs... amazing custom bling hat

Earth Monkeys... Green on-the-go baby gear {bib, changing pad, paci-pack}

Vivo candles...a delicious soy/coconut candle

Irma Gusman Jewelery...a gorgeous handmade necklace and earring set 

Oops Sheet...your choice of a mattress protecting sheet

My babies green...you must check out all of their awesome things!

Please go check out these sights...

these are hard working mamas just like us!!!

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This week I made a special toy to share with the Earth Monkey Mom community!!! I call it the Super Fabulous Sporty Activity Center, but you can call it whatever you like. My main “ingredients” in cardboard box toy making are: a cardboard box, a box knife, colored duct tape and a hot glue gun with a good many glue sticks. I usually have a plan in my head of what I want to make, but the toy really takes shape as I start and I usually think of extra things to add or other materials to use as I’m making it.

I don't know about you all, but for me, this is the time of the year when I start to think "seriously". Not "seriously" as in seriously...but "seriously" as in "seriously, is the sun every going to come out, is the rain ever going to stop, will I ever wear shorts again???"



The Holidays, aka "the most wonderful time of the year" are over, spring break is still months away, and the prospect of wearing something other than a jacket, boots and scarf feel like light years away.  I feel like a caged lion pacing my floor peering out my windows, praying for a glimpse of sunlight, or a spot of color from a spring flower peaking its little head from beneath the snow (ok so that part is just a little bit of drama, but you get the point)....



Iv'e had to get creative recently to get my mind and body to a more summer kind of a feeling, and get out of this winter blues trap.  So here it goes...none of this require much time, much money or much creativity, but doing any or all of them may just brighten all of our days!



1) Polish your toenails.  During the winter, this part of me is severely neglected.  Because of the fact that no one sees them unless they are in the shower with me...so that would limit it to my 2 year old.  Although he could care less about the condition of my toenails, I am amazed at what a bright cheery color can do for me.  Note:  I did not say "get a pedicure".  If you have the time and money for this, by all means go for it!  If you don't, pick up some Sally Hansen quick dry in a bright color (no dark colors). It dries in minutes (for real!) and makes you feel like you should be on a beach in Hawaii!....um, I guess thats a good thing?



2)  Get outside!  I don't care if its crazy cold.  Bundle yourself and the kids up and go run around for 15 minutes.  If you are lucky enough to have glimpses of the sun, make up a picnic, sit in the backyard and pretend like its 80 degrees!  My kids love this!  And I have to admit that it brightens my day too.  It makes me slow down, chill (sometimes literally) and just "be" with my kids.  And just a side note, what is up with our crazy fear of the sun???  (stick with me here).  I get it, wrinkles, cancer, burns.  It's all scary!  But do you know that sun is essential to our health????  Small amounts at a time (15 min a day) is very beneficial...if you don't believe me, do a bit of research!  Save the sunscreen for a full day at the lake, but especially this time a year, it is completely necessary for us...why do you think so many are people are sick this time a year?  Bring on the Vit. D!!! AKA...sunlight!



3)  Get off your butt and move!  If you can, go for a walk, ride a bike, or just a stroll to the mailbox, you and your kids need to move around.  A day stuck inside, watching tv, is enough to put anyone into a depression!  The other night, I pulled up some dance music on the computer and we went crazy.  I'm sure the neighbors thought that I was having some sort of a weird seizure, but we had a hilariously good time and got our heart-rates up in the process!!  Movement and laughter...perfect "medicine"!!



4)  I love to do a simple face mask once in a while that makes my skin feel so yummy, and takes away that dead dry feel...here it is, made from stuff from the pantry...



1T. Oatmeal (grind it up very fine)

5 Aspirin (yep, the stuff for your heart) ground up totally

1T. Honey

I sometimes throw in a bit of avocado, blueberries, or yogurt...whatever I have around!

Put it on your clean skin for 20 min then "scrub" it off gently with a bit of water and your fingertips.  Your face will feel like your babies butt!  Minus the poop smell!





5)  Take a shower.  A real one.  Minus the child.  Lock the door. Shave. Condition.

Finish with coconut oil!  The smell will make you feel like your in the tropics...maybe at this point you should just go to bed.  Ya.  Don't look out of the bedroom door.  Just pretend like there is not a huge disaster waiting on the other side....



6) My last "tip"...don't be afraid of a little self tanner.  The gradual stuff is fool proof, and even the hard core kind is hard to mess up.  I like to do my neck, forehead, cheeks and arms at night, and in the morning, I wake up to a nice glow.  Oh how it makes me feel sooooo much better.  If you are too nervous for it, get a good bronzer and just put a little on the spots that the sun would normally hit!  Your kids will wonder why you are walking around singing like Snow White!



I would love to know what you do to brighten up the dull days of winter..."comment" below and give us some more tips!



And as always, share us with those you love!!