1. I am never having kids... I maintained this one for 5 years after we got married, but when the baby bug bit, there was nothing I could do. Still to this day I run into people who say, "Remember how you said you were never going to have kids." 


2. My Kids will only play with wooden toys... you know because the plastic ones are so ugly... today you would be hard pressed to find a toy or anything "kid" in my house that isn't plastic florescent or colored on with sharpie marker.


3. My kids won't watch TV until they're 3 and then only educational programming... ahahahahahahahahahaha... had I known that TV is the only way to calm my crack monkeys down I  think I would have just skipped that one.


4. I will never make more than one meal, my kids won't be picky... If there are pickier kids on the planet I haven't met them. My oldest pukes at the site of green peas and I make 6+ meals a day mon-fri to suit everyone's tastes.


5. My kids won't wear anything with cartoons on them.... I still don't like this but my monkeys are freaks for thomas and cars 2 and want to wear anything and everything that dawns those characters... but what's a mom to do?


6. Marriage and kids won't make me frumpy... bwahahahahha... anyone who read my post a couple of weeks ago should be spitting their coffee through their nose right now... ya... moving on....


7. When I'm a stay at home mom my house will never be messy... I seriously used to say this... I know... I'm an idiot, it's actually probably messier since we're all home all day everyday... who knew???

1. You often experience more that 5 emotions in a 2 minute period... (this is a fun one for the whole family to enjoy:))


2. When they have questions, your kids and husband approach you like they are getting ready to feed a wild animal because they're not sure which of mommies several personalities will answer them.


3. You get a crazed psycho smile on your face while saying things like... "Oh you'll eat it... You'll eat it and you'll like it." (this could just be a symptom of a mommy funk as well)


4. You forget what you're talking about mid sentence. (see also ...ummmm ..... "mommy brain")


5. You tell yourself your just PMSy... for 12 weeks straight. 


6. You have left the house with 2 different flip flops and mascara on only one eye more than once. (Again reference "mommy brain"... as symptoms may over lapse.)

11 years of marriage, 3 crazy kids and my oh my how times have changed. I remember back in the day when I would hurry to get my make-up on and wear just the right outfit for my hunka hunka burnin love. Heck even 5 years into it when I was preggo with monkey numero uno I wore 6 inch wedges to make my legs look thinner... (note to self: when you gain 50+ pounds during pregnancy wedges make you look more like a bale of hay on stilts than "slim" in any sense of the word) Now I consider it a victory if I actually get dressed during the day and doing my hair (which only takes 35 seconds total) and putting on make up only happens for "Special Occasions"... my poor hubby!



Last night I looked at myself... I hadn't showered in a couple of days (due to the fact that whenever I get in the shower my kids seriously try to kill each other or I don't know color with permanent marker on my favorite shoes) and I was wearing the same jammies I had been wearing and worked out in the morning before... it was definitely a low point. I turned to my husband and said "Sorry babe, I promise I'll start putting myself together more often I know I totally look like a hot mess." (minus the hot part), I expected him to say his obligatory "No babe you look great." but instead he said, "I know you've had a lot going on today." Waaa???? It was that moment that I decided I needed to stop being quite so comfortable with my sexy self and go brush my teeth.



Here are some red flags that you are in the same "Jammie Day EVERYDAY" rut...

1. If on the rare occasion when you get dressed in cut offs and a flip flops your kids ask why you're so dressed up... (this one is for you Kiley:))


2. If you have been wearing the same workout clothes for 2+ work out sessions... (even a cute yoga outfit has it's "re-wear" limits.)


3. If your husband would rather give you a high five when he gets home from work than a kiss.


4. If you come out of your room in the morning (bed head in full force) with your purse in your hands ready to pay bills online and your kids ask where you're going. (uhhhh because they're used to leaving the house with you looking like that!)


5. If you get caught in your jammies by the fedex guy almost every time he comes... at 3 pm!


6. If at any point your kids or husband ask you f you are actually going to leave the house like that.

Mindy from Pretty in Paint made this little doozie!

I saw this idea of a blessings board on another blog somewhere and I knew I had to do it. Usually sweet flowery things make me want to throw up a little in my mouth, but this little crafty poo is a sweet kick in the teeth.  So... I am writing a blessing on  post-its and sticking them to a board in my room ... so every time I want to have a pity party or complain... wham... it can kick me in the teeth and say, "Hey selfish, annoying, whiny lady... look at all of the amazing things you have in your life." Today I posted 7 to the board and here they are:

1. {Sibling Rivalry...} I guess I'll I just need to repeat costco, costco, costco... over and over in my head  so I'm not tempted to pull a Thelma & Louise during what seems to be NEVER-ENDING-FIGHTING! (costco)


2. {School Clothes...} My amazing big sister took all three boys shopping today and got them shoes and pants and shirts and socks... who does that?? My big sister!! That's who!:) I love you Abbers!


3. {Great Friends...} I swear I have the best friends ever... they love me for me and put up with my non-stop verbal vomit... they are some pretty darn amazing women (and some guys too:)) and I am so beyond blessed to be surrounded by such amazing people!


4. {COFFEE!!!} Seriously... this needs no explanation!


5. {God's Amazing Grace...} woops maybe I should have put this first... I was a little caught up in my costco moment... But He is so good... all of the time...


6. {The right words, when I need them} My hubby just has a way with words... this is what he texted me the other night while I pulled a mini Thelma & Louise at Costco (well I guess it was just a Thelma because Louise was at the coast) ... "You are beautiful... this is the life we GET to live." reminding me that we are so incredibly blessed to be parents to these special boys... even on the rough days. 


7. {An Amazing Family...} How amazing is it to have a HUGE and by HUGE I mean GINOURMOUS group of relatives that we would actual choose as friends even if we weren't related. We have the best family and don't take any of them for granted for even one second. 

     My own kids must have had one of those sibling pow-wows (behind my back) and came to some kind of unanimous conclusion that they would never say one of my own (unoriginal) one liners: "Because I said so!". I used to have a picture hanging in my kitchen of a mother hen with a lot of babies under her wings and the caption read: "I'm the mommy that's why." They didn't give me grief over that one but evidently they really disliked 'because I said so.' Who knew?? I'm fairly sure when your little ones grow up they too will throw some of your mommy-isms back at you. I, for one, am hoping they do. :o)

OK Today I have to admit that I'm fried.... I have tried to write a serious post and then a funny post and ended up deciding to delight you with one of my favorite oldie but goodies... I'm a mess, my man's a mess, my house is a mess and my children are only not a mess because I finally gave them a bath today and they are now sleeping... but they will be a mess 5 nano seconds after they wake up cause that's how we role here:) Happy Wednesday!



{Oldie But Goodie}

No one can know the down and dirty of being a parent…until you become a parent… sometimes throughout the day I stop and think to myself…”did those words really just come out of your mouth?” They are words that form sentences I never imagined anyone saying…



Forks Aren’t For Stabbing…Maybe it’s just my kids…but they can turn anything into a weapon and often try to shank each other…



We Don’t Touch Poop… I still remember the day Sawyer came down the stairs proudly yelling ewwe poooop… he had pooped on a toy cell phone and brought it down proud to show us his accomplishment… that was the day the poop war was waged in the McPhail household and we battle on even today…



Don’t Drink the Bath Water… your butt is in that water….Stop drinking it!!! What is the draw?? Seriously, I can’t imagin what is so thirst quenching about merky soapy butt water?? But still they drink…



Hands Off Your Peeper… (I know peeper sounds I little creepy but I just can’t say penis or wiener…) If you have boys, you have to be familiar with this one. day or night rain or shine, they have to make sure their friend is still attached… apparently it will be that way until the end of time…



Is That My Toothbrush In The Toilet??? Oh the glamorous life of a mother…



What Crazy things have you caught yourself saying as a mom that you never thought would come out of your mouth?!?!? We want to know:)!!

...psst... she has three boys too... so she's familiar with the funk!

"...you have to..."

Sometimes I resent the things I "have" to do in a day... and for no real reason at all I get myself into a mommy funk. So when my three year old says for the 7000th time "Mom, You have to..." instead of correcting him and modeling the words he should say... I get right down on his level and say... "I don't HAVE to do anything." (Insert head bob and finger wave here) ... at which point he ignores my attitude and repeats himself... and I just end up doing what he's asking me to do anyway ... but with a grudge. It's funny how fast I forget how blessed I am to HAVE to do so many mundane and sometimes down right disgusting things... hey I live with four boys remember:):)



It was two years ago this past Sunday that my husband CJ and I moved our family back to Southern Oregon. We left our house still on the market just outside of Portland and lost every dime of our savings we had invested in that place. It was the lowest point in our lives together... a newborn baby and two special boys who had just been diagnosed with PDD-NOS (a form of autism). We were broke, broken and honestly at times I felt hopeless... A lot of you already know this story... already know my heart ache of mourning the sons I thought we were going to have and learning to love and celebrate the amazing boys God made them to be... many of you already know that we lost everything and lived with my parents for nine months relying on food stamps and family to help us through one of the darkest chapters of our lives. It was humiliating and earth shattering and beautiful all at once.



It's amazing how things can change in two years. I wish I could say we weren't still reeling from the aftermath of that disaster. What I can say is that if I had the chance to wipe it all out.. to get to skip that portion of our lives... I WOULDN'T THINK OF IT.



While I don't wish dark times on ANYONE... ever... I have to say it's what grows us... it's what gives us perspective and grace for people and situations we may have stood in judgement of before. Without pain I don't think we can fully experience compassion... without struggle and suffering we really have no reason to grow.

...my love...

My husband and I have decided that we want to do something every 3rd of July to remember where we were and to marvel at how far God has brought us. How the rough stuff bound us together... if even just barely by a thread at times... we got through it with a deeper connection and love than we ever knew possible. And that my friends is worth celebrating!



I love remembering the fact that it was only two short years ago that I was praying for this very home... even knowing about the black mold, old windows, draftiness and bug "situation"... I dreamed of how our family would grow and thrive in this place... and we have. It's remembering July 3rd, 2009 that brings me out of my "mommy funks" and reminds me to celebrate all the the things I GET to do for my friends and family and amazing boys who are doing better than ever.



Perspective is everything... it's so easy to lose... and sometimes so painful to gain. What do you GET to do today?

      

Britny ... is a Mommy of 2, wife to 1 and lover of God. Her days are filled with homeschooling her monkeys, making a home on a budget and bringing joy to mankind in the form of sweet treats! She owns a small boutique bakery, Brit’s Bakes, which gives her a fun and creative outlet from Mommyland. A self-proclaimed “foodie” she enjoys reading food blogs, cook books and searching for the best local eats. She is also an occasional runner (which is necessary when there is so much good food in the world) and enjoys setting goals and running road races. When not covered in flour and drowning in laundry, multiplication tables and coupon clipping...you will find her sipping on a vanilla latte with her BFF, who also happens to be her husband of (almost) 11 years.



In the month of June, my husband and I have started a “get off your butt” routine. On Monday, Wednesday & Friday, we put on are matching Nikes ( I know. we are ridiculous), grab some water, put on our favorite Pandora station and head out to the garage. No, we don’t have any fancy machines, or a personal trainer who stops by to kick us into shape - it is just us, two jump ropes, a pull-up bar, dumbbells and our neighborhood to sprint through - I LOVE IT. If you are in need of motivation grab a friend or few - or that good lookin’ guy you married and keep each other accountable! This makes working out so much more fun and when you are working together for a common goal - stuff just gets done, in all areas of life.

My son cheering me on !!

So what kind of health goals do you have? Are they realistic? Are they preparing you for the future? So many times our goals can be far fetched, chasing the wind, “I want to wear my Junior High jeans” kind of goals. What if we changed our mind about our health goals and really purposed being healthy as a legacy for our children and even grandchildren? As moms, we have the power of influence in our children’s lives that affect the generations to come. Everyday. If they see Mommy freaking out about her pant size, number on the scale or filling her body with junk food in truck loads...this is the pattern they are most likely to follow. Be a healthy example! Every choice we make is knitting together the person our little people can become. If they see Mommy feeling good, being strong, active and making balanced food choices (we are not talking deprivation people!), they too are set up to do the same. What do you want the “health” legacy to be for your family?



Having our health is a gift and exercise is a way of saying thanks for the gift we each have been giving. It doesn’t always have to be about looking “better”, though as you cultivate a healthier lifestyle that is sometimes the bonus! So put your ideals and perfectionism aside and think about what lifestyle you would like for your children. Make healthy choices as a family - go for walks together, prepare healthy meals together, and teach your kids (by example) to have a healthy relationship with food...there is a time for cupcakes and a time for carrots....:) Let your children see you set goals and see them through - Let them see a Mommy who has energy to run with them ( and sometimes catch them), a Mommy who takes risk and is willing to climb on the jungle gym or slide down the slip n slide with them. Making memories and teaching your child to make positive choices for their future too, now that is healthy!

Let your kids see you drinking this and you will be the picture of utmost health...... or you may totally gross them out! :)



Blend together:

1 Quarter of a Fresh Pineapple, chopped

1 Mango Sliced

1 Cup Fresh or Frozen Peach Slices

Half of an Orange

1 Medium Banana

1/2- 1 cup Coconut Milk



After the mixture is good and blended, GO GREEN!!



Add in a large handful of Spinach (preferably organic) and blend away! Pour in a jar throw in a straw and sip your way to better health :)



IF you must, you can add some agave or honey to sweeten things up, but the banana usually does the trick!



NOTE: If the green color freaks you out (I promise the taste will not) you can add a handful of fresh or frozen blueberries. This will give you a purplish drink, that even the kids might drink!





You can find Brit's Bakes on facebook at www.facebook.com/britsbakes she also has a blog at: www.pocketfulofmoments.blogspot.com 

{By Guest Contributor: Kriste Colley-Valdez}

As a life coach, one of the things I do is help my clients incorporate stress management techniques into their daily lives. After all, stress continues to be a contributor to weight gain, heart disease, insomnia, and dissatisfaction.



However, I can’t help but notice that many of the commonly accepted techniques are almost impossible for a busy mom to practice on a daily basis. Sure, we can squeeze them in from time to time, but you can’t exactly tell the colicky baby, “Ok, well, it’s 2:00 pm and you know that it’s time for my weekly massage! See you in a few hours!” Face it; there are times when our own needs get pushed to the bottom of the list.



Some examples of traditional stress management techniques are massage, taking a few hours for yourself, talking on the phone with a friend, exercise, doing a hobby or activity that you love, a night out, meditation and mindfulness. Yes, it’s a great idea to be mindful, and we SHOULD be. But…it’s tough to rejoice in being present when you are cleaning up spit-up. [Editor's Note: I would like to add snot, pee, puke and UBS (unidentifiable brown stuff) to the list... carry on:)]



As for massage…does it count when my two –year-old runs his race car up and down my back?



How about an actual stress reliever that will not only help you relax, but makes an incredible gift for other half-crazed goddesses in your lives?



Get a jar with a lid. Heck with a nice jar. Use that old cottage cheese container that’s in your bottom drawer.



Buy a 99 cent pack of gummy bears. (This is a crucial step. Gummy worms will not work. They must be bears.)



Empty bears into jar.



Here’s the fun part ;)...



Assign each color of bear the name of a person who has been annoying/irking/angering you or just trying your patience.

photo by:www.klikphotographic.com

Roo… is a former stockbroker who hung up her trading shoes when her daughter was six months in her belly. She started Oops! Sheet to fulfill her dream of being able to be home to raise her daughter. When asked when the next child will be coming along, she likes to joke that “she got it right the first time!”   

“Want to do a Guest Post on our Blog?” Lindsay asks. “Sure,” is my response. “Something light and fun,” says Linz. Sounds easy enough. But for two weeks I have started writing, just to stop and think, “No. There is nothing funny about that.” I have easily a dozen starts to this light and fun Guest Post for the fabulous Earth Monkeys Moms Blog. A blog that always makes me laugh out loud. And I’ve got nothing. Nothing at all to contribute.



Could it be that we are not fun, in my household? What is “fun” anyways? Let’s see what Google says. According to Wikipedia, “Fun is the enjoyment of pleasure.” Well, that sounds like something that happens all the time in our house! Perhaps I just needed to think harder. Fun, funny… Then it came to me: 



{Naked Kids }



It all began innocently enough. My six year old daughter loves to hang out with the four year old boy from across the street. She loves forests, bugs, and digging in the dirt. Boys do too. So the little boy across the street and my daughter get along like two peas in a pod.



The other day my daughter wanted to play in the back forest with her buddy from across the street. I opened the back gate for them and they ran happily into the forest in search of dinosaur bones and spots to dig to China. Oh, and did I mention they both happened to be in their bathing suits? Now normally that isn’t trouble when we’re talking about a six year old girl and a four year old boy…



Every few minutes I’d peek over the fence to see that all was well. And it was. For a while. During a routine peek over the fence, I could see WAY too much of my child’s skin. Sure enough she’s standing there, naked as the day she was born. With her bathing suit in her hand. The little boy from across the street is still wearing his bathing suit. Both were just chatting as though there were nothing unusual going on.



Not wanting to cause alarm, I very much needed to hear exactly how she came to be standing naked in the forest with the boy from across the street, bathing suit in hand. I told her there was something in her hair and to quickly come into our house with me. Streaking across the yard, in plain view of the entire neighbourhood, she runs into our house.



{Me} “Sweetie, why is your bathing suit in your hand?”



{My Child} “What’s in my hair, Mom?”



{Me} “Nothing is in your hair, I just wanted to find out why you are naked.”



{My Child} “Oh. My bathing suit got stuck on the blackberry bushes. I couldn’t get it unstuck so I took it off.”



Bless their innocent little hearts! The little boy from across the street had been standing side by side with my naked child while they both tugged her bathing suit off the blackberry bushes… There was a reason I found the kids chatting as though there was nothing unusual going on - that’s because there wasn’t anything going on! He was just trying to help her out and neither one of them thought naked was a big deal.



Childhood is such an innocent yet hilarious time… anyone else catch their kids in crazy situations? Situations that appear bad at first glance but turn out to be just fine?



After spending two weeks trying to find something light and funny to write about, I’ve taken it as a sign that I need to learn to look harder for the light and funny things in life. I think there is a lesson to be learned here and the best way to learn that lesson is to start a blog for Oops! Sheet. Stay tuned! One Oops! Sheet Blog coming right up… in two weeks… or so…

I love my kids, I do, but wow, my youngest has hit the terrible two’s, her birthday is actually the day this will post, the 20th. I can’t wait 'til next year; I remember 3 being so much fun, right now that is the only light I have.



I’m writing this a few weeks early (5/5/11) because of a trip I’m taking, and I felt inspired today because I am so stressed out, going so insane and in need of a much needed time out. To the point of wanting to scream and cry and lock myself in my closet…with my children’s Easter baskets.



My days start around 6:30 am with a screaming toddler and end hopefully around midnight if everyone goes to bed and I have gotten chores done and hopefully some writing on my next book… which feeling inspired when I am absolutely drained, annoyed and well, pissed off? Yeah that’s gonna happen! So needless to say I am exhausted, I am cranky, I yell too much, and stand in front of my refrigerator often looking for something…anything to make me feel better. But since I have been watching my sugar intake sadly there is nothing good in my fridge (that would constitute binging on, at least).



Here is my dilemma, I need a break so badly, I want one so badly, I want to sleep in until noon and be awakened by a room service person bringing me a veggie omelet with a bran muffin (wow I am getting so old) I just realized how lame my “dream” is, bran muffin, sheesh! I remember the days before I had kids, Awe College, scheduling classes to start after 10am, sitting at the Starbucks as I leisurely read my assigned work. Staying up late, cleaning and having things stay tidy…oh sorry I got lost for a minute there. Anyhow where was I? Oh yes - I’m desperate for a break!



When the time comes for me to take one though, I feel horribly guilty and frankly - terrified. What if something happens to the kids? What if something happens to Dave and me? What if there is the earth quake that everyone says there is going to be, and I am on another continent enjoying an adult beverage? And now thanks to recent events, what if there is a terrorist on my plane and I go down and become a flight number?



I know these thoughts are irrational, but I also know that my trips are always tainted with my worry. We leave for Cancun in a week, I am beyond excited, especially after a day like today, but I know the night before we leave I will think of every excuse not to go, (I have already checked the cancellation insurance, yeah, it’s pretty specific about injuries and such, so that probably won’t work). But seriously I will be in tears as the flight attendant tells me where the emergency exits are. I will be profiling every single person on the aircraft, (not for if they may be carrying a bomb, but as to how easily I can knock them over and beat them out the emergency exits) and my stomach will be in knots the entire flight, which will in turn make matters worse because I swear to God that I WILL be the person that gets sucked into the airplane toilet and so I’m afraid to use them.



MY POOR HUSBAND.



Here’s the problem, I bitch, I wine, I complain… “I need a break; you get to go to work! You get a break; you get to miss the kids! You get adult time! All I do is dishes and diapers and I vacuum and then YOU walk in with dirty boots!” So he says, “Okay Merry Christmas YOU are getting a break, we’re going to Cancun!” I cry, get excited, start planning ridiculous expeditions, and then as the date approaches I start to freak out again, “We didn’t get our Will done! What if Madi loses her first tooth while we are gone? Will your parents know to save the tooth? What if our plane goes down? What if they get sick, I can’t leave a sick kid and go on vacation. What type of a mother am I that I want a break from my own kids?? Blah blah blah…crying...blah blah…more ridiculous crying, wailing now...blah blah!”



Again, MY POOR HUSBAND.



He can’t win, he tries, but he can’t because I am officially psycho! This man tries so hard, he gets up every morning before everyone else, he tip toes around the house as to not wake the kids, or I, God bless him. Goes to work where he gets yelled at by co-workers or the public, apologizes all day long for stuff that he didn’t do, most days comes home for lunch so I can get five minutes to myself, goes back to work, then somehow gets in his truck comes home to a house of crazy. He then will, a lot of nights, make dinner, play with the kids, get yelled at for not taking his work boots off, do bath time, cut toe nails, read bedtime stories, and then get up five times to tell the kids to go to bed because I am dead on the couch. Then he watches a show or two, falls asleep on the couch, is rudely awakened when it’s time to get in bed, and finally falls asleep, just in time for his alarm to go off again. I seriously don’t know how he does it.



But I’m so glad he does.



I know he needs this trip as much, if not more than I do. I know he has earned it, me - not so much. So, this week I am going to bite my tongue when all my crazy worries fill my brain, I am going to try to take a sedative before the flight so I won’t panic and cry the entire time, and I will force myself to enjoy my time, our time.



Sure I feel selfish taking time away from the kids, but something I do know: it feels so good to miss them! It feels so good to wonder what they are doing, it feels so good to be sitting over a long and relaxing dinner and end up talking about our kids.



It feels good to WANT to be home.



So if you need a break, take one. Don’t feel guilty or afraid, whatever is going to happen…is gonna happen. But if we don’t take care of ourselves and our relationships, they’ll burn out. I know that for Dave and I, our relationship has to be number one, as much as I know I’ll get grief for saying it, the kids sometimes have to come second, because if mama and dada aren’t happy, then no one is happy. Even if it is one night away, just locally, take it, if the opportunity comes - seize it! In the long run, your kids will be happy you did, your kids will be happy you valued yourself and your relationships. It may take years for this to happen, but one day they’ll be thankful that their mother isn’t insane.



I can happily say my children's Easter candy has survived another day, no guarantees for tomorrow though.

I think I've shared before... or maybe my mom (the E.M.G-Ma) has... but growing up my mom's mantra was "Do as I say, not as I do..." and it's still the running joke in our family. If you've read this blog at all, you know that I, Lindsay, am never the one to really write about advice or how to's ... mostly because my life is a series of "woops probably shouldn't try that again's".



So today's post is written mostly by some of you... last night on facebook I asked readers to finish this statement: A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER... and this is what YOU came up with...



{1} From Gena M... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ Refer to a tampon as a "push pop"...as it might cause confusion...and your child *might* dig one out of your purse and ask you to open her"ice cream" (not that I would know from experience or anything...) ;)



{2} From Shaneen... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ Leave her breast pump where her 3 year old son might find it and try to use it....and have a rage when his " boobs just won't work"...



{3} From Krystal... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ Smell things.... like if you find something brown in the car seat or in pants - accept that it's probably poo and resist the urge to smell hoping it's chocolate....it never is! Like when we find wet spots, why we sniff is beyond me - just wash it.



{4} From Lacie  & Kriste ... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ "SAY NEVER"... because you never know what kind of kiddo you'll end up parenting :) AND the moment you do, it always comes around to bite ya in the tush! ;)

[Editor's Note: True Dat... yeah I said it]





{5} From ME...~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ Ignore silence... it's never worth it, EVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



{6} From Tricia.... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ make their child eat liver!

[Editor's Note: I would like to add green peas and benadryl... all things my son pukes on site from... literally...]





{7} From Ceisha... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ Wear White.... really that needs no explanation:)



{8} From Mindy... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ assume that there isnt spit in her lipgloss tube...(i know...disgusting.) my daugter sneaks my tubes and somehow spit ends up them.. gag.





{9} From Jill... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ have long acrylic nails and change a poopy diaper... 

[Editor's Note: Did anyone else just throw up a little??]





{10} From April... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~  Mix red wine and chocolate martinis the night before Easter... and then get so sick she can't be the Easter Bunny...





{11} From Me Again... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~  Leave the car door open near a hose... because little boys see that as an open invitation to "wash" the inside of your car... we're talking hose full blast in the back seat "wash"... 





{12} From Emilie... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~  Shop for swimwear sober...





{13} From Cindy... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~  Accidentally take too much Tri Mag (a natural laxative) ...the night before assisting at a school field trip...





{14} From Kim... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~  assume that a child would "not" crawl in bed with mom and dad during "close" time, without being noticed!



{15} From Anonymous (obviously)... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ Forget to lock the door while taking care of some "personal grooming".... [Editor's Note: this is not the original phrasing... I wrote the more socially acceptable version... the original knocked me out of my chair in hysterics... I didn't want anyone to get hurt.]





{16} From Christina...  ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ Think you have more time to be with them, Time is to precious. Enjoy every moment....They grow up too fast...



I thought I should end with a nice one:) hehe... I hope this made you laugh today... I love hearing from so many amazing moms everyday!! Thanks for sharing and making the rest of us smile!!! Have a happy Wednesday!