Recently l spent an evening at the Earth Monkey Mom Clothing Exchange. I overhear a mom talking with Linz about how she loved the blog, and that being a first time mom sometimes her days are hard and it was great to have other moms to relate to. I feel so far from what she was talking about now that my kids are older, but it took me back to a time when my 3 were little and here is where my story starts. I call this.......





So I have now been a parent for 9+ years, we all have our stories but one day stands out very vivid in my mind.... At that time my kids were almost 5,3 & almost 1. My oldest, max was in pre school so during his school times, nearly every week I would have play dates with my friends Jeni and Stacia, whom both had one child at the time. So it was me, Jack and my baby Elie hanging out. We had been working really hard to get Jack potty trained, he was 31/2, which I felt was ridiculous. Jack had been playing in a little room when I noticed his wet pants, and let me tell ya, I was instantly set off! "Jack, why did you pee your pants? Why didn't you tell mommy?" So I drag him in the bathroom, so annoyed, here we go again! But Jack had more to offer then a pair of wet pants. (This is where the story gets gross) My little man had pooped his pants, but this was no normal situation. His poop had somehow formed itself into a ball, baseball size to be exact! (no exaggeration!) So I spend a moment trying to figure out the best way to maneuver this thing, I shimmy the undies off trying to avoid the "ball" rolling down his legs, hold the "ball" in the undies

like a sling and gently roll it out into the toilet. Problem 2: my dear friend Jeni lived in a new house, one with low flow toilets in it, you get where I am going? Well Jack's "ball" was not in the water so I had to get it there....

I grab a handful of tp and caress the "ball" down into the water. (editors note: I just spit my drink out of my nose picturing Kim "caressing a poop ball!") 



Honestly without the difficult times, what would we have to talk about? This is such a short time in your life, and one day you will look at that child and think he is the smartest, funniest little turd in the world!

 For those that are new around here...our guest contributor Kim,

Is a married mother of three very "active" children. She manages an Italian restaurant and in one of the original "Saucy Sisters". Saucy Sisters is a sauce and salad dressing company that produces fresh sauces with bold flavors. Striving to make the home cook look like a genius, the Saucy Sisters will take your kitchen to a whole new level!

You Can find Saucy Sisters products at:

Redrock Italian Eatery

               The Rogue Valley Growers Market 

(during Market season)

 Soon in a grocery store near you!

                                      Visit their website at: www.saucy-sisters.com and

                                    "Like" Saucy Sisters on FB

Every post is more fun with a giveaway! So share this EMM blog on your page, "like" Saucy Sisters, come tell us that you did both and one lucky random winner will win one of our great sauces!!!

I think I've shared before... or maybe my mom (the E.M.G-Ma) has... but growing up my mom's mantra was "Do as I say, not as I do..." and it's still the running joke in our family. If you've read this blog at all, you know that I, Lindsay, am never the one to really write about advice or how to's ... mostly because my life is a series of "woops probably shouldn't try that again's".



So today's post is written mostly by some of you... last night on facebook I asked readers to finish this statement: A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER... and this is what YOU came up with...



{1} From Gena M... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ Refer to a tampon as a "push pop"...as it might cause confusion...and your child *might* dig one out of your purse and ask you to open her"ice cream" (not that I would know from experience or anything...) ;)



{2} From Shaneen... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ Leave her breast pump where her 3 year old son might find it and try to use it....and have a rage when his " boobs just won't work"...



{3} From Krystal... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ Smell things.... like if you find something brown in the car seat or in pants - accept that it's probably poo and resist the urge to smell hoping it's chocolate....it never is! Like when we find wet spots, why we sniff is beyond me - just wash it.



{4} From Lacie  & Kriste ... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ "SAY NEVER"... because you never know what kind of kiddo you'll end up parenting :) AND the moment you do, it always comes around to bite ya in the tush! ;)

[Editor's Note: True Dat... yeah I said it]





{5} From ME...~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ Ignore silence... it's never worth it, EVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



{6} From Tricia.... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ make their child eat liver!

[Editor's Note: I would like to add green peas and benadryl... all things my son pukes on site from... literally...]





{7} From Ceisha... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ Wear White.... really that needs no explanation:)



{8} From Mindy... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ assume that there isnt spit in her lipgloss tube...(i know...disgusting.) my daugter sneaks my tubes and somehow spit ends up them.. gag.





{9} From Jill... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ have long acrylic nails and change a poopy diaper... 

[Editor's Note: Did anyone else just throw up a little??]





{10} From April... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~  Mix red wine and chocolate martinis the night before Easter... and then get so sick she can't be the Easter Bunny...





{11} From Me Again... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~  Leave the car door open near a hose... because little boys see that as an open invitation to "wash" the inside of your car... we're talking hose full blast in the back seat "wash"... 





{12} From Emilie... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~  Shop for swimwear sober...





{13} From Cindy... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~  Accidentally take too much Tri Mag (a natural laxative) ...the night before assisting at a school field trip...





{14} From Kim... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~  assume that a child would "not" crawl in bed with mom and dad during "close" time, without being noticed!



{15} From Anonymous (obviously)... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ Forget to lock the door while taking care of some "personal grooming".... [Editor's Note: this is not the original phrasing... I wrote the more socially acceptable version... the original knocked me out of my chair in hysterics... I didn't want anyone to get hurt.]





{16} From Christina...  ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ Think you have more time to be with them, Time is to precious. Enjoy every moment....They grow up too fast...



I thought I should end with a nice one:) hehe... I hope this made you laugh today... I love hearing from so many amazing moms everyday!! Thanks for sharing and making the rest of us smile!!! Have a happy Wednesday!