Showing posts with label listening. Show all posts
Showing posts with label listening. Show all posts
Monday, August 29, 2011
I'm taking you on another little life lesson moment...and it's all about getting to know you!
~I know what you are thinking,
"ok, here she goes on a tangent"....
but stick with me~
It is so easy in life to limit ourselves to situations that we are comfortable in, and people we are comfortable with. Its tempting to stay on the surface with people, to not open up to really knowing them and to make judgments based on appearances. Straight up racism might be better now than it was then, we all may be more equal, but are we really open to each other? Are we passed being judgmental? Do we listen to a respect each other? I'm not fully convinced we are passed all of that.
I want to share just two things that are really on my heart with you...was that a gasp, because you think Im going to keep it short and sweet??? Well you are right....
One thing this blogging, facebooking, social networking stuff has done is open me up to a whole bunch of people that I would have never crossed paths with. I've learned that everyone has a story. It's easy to look at someone from the outside and think you know what their life is all about. It's easy to be judgmental because of what they look like, the house they live in, and what you think their story might be...But it is amazing that when you really dive in, you find out what their stories are really all about. Some lives are filled ease, some with struggles, but all with interest. I am left wanting to know more about you all...more about your lives, your thoughts and who you really are. I have met people that I would have walked passed in a grocery store, I have learned from people that I never would have dreamed had something to teach. I have shared similar life stories with some, and been blown away by the roads some have walked. Mostly what I have learned, is that you truly cant judge a book by it's cover (I know cliché, but true..) You are amazing and interesting to me. You have given me a desire to know more of people and focus less on me. And I gotta be honest here for a minute and admit to liking the comfort of my "bubble". The familiarity of close friends and the ease in keeping things to myself. As selfish as it sounds, I don't love to put the time into new relationships when I barely have time for the ones I already have...did I just totally contradict myself??? I guess so, but what I'm saying is that I am learning. And what I am learning is to put myself out there to get to know other's stories....I don't want to assume things about others anymore, I want to really know them...would you try it with me?
So I guess my two deep thoughts that hit me from the movie last night are, not to assume I know someone's story, or make judgements based on those assumptions and to really take time to get to know people. We are amazingly different and can learn great things from each other...so will you all take a quick second and do me a favor??? Say Yes, then Ill tell you what it is ;)....
OK...in the comments below, tell us 4 things about your story. Things that give us a little glimpse into who the real "you" is...Ill start (and Lindsay will join in...right?)
*I was born in 1972 (ouch), I have 2 siblings and my parents are still married.
*I grew up in the same valley that I still live in.
*I am a divorcé (a fact it took me several years to admit without cringing)
*and I have been through the trials of infertility and adoption...
There you go...thats me (aren't you just all kinds of intrigued!) ;)
NOW IT'S YOUR TURN...
Facebook Login Labels: judging others, life lessons, listening
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Unsolicited Advice… We all giveth, and now it’s time to taketh away!
I have been wanting to write about the ANNOYANCE of unsolicited advice for over a month now…. There are some people, like moms and sisters, that can give advice and it’s appreciated… to a point.AND those same people still love you when you give them “the look” or “the growl” in my case that everything is under control and they need to back off… we even laugh about it in my family. There are other times though that you can’t be so honest about what you’d like to do with a friend’s “well meaning” advice. Now that I have almost certainly scared most of my friends into never giving me advice again, let me just say that it has hit me in the head like a load of bricks that I AM probably the WORST about giving unsolicited advice any day, anytime, anywhere. I was even yelling at the TV last week as I watched Parenthood because I thought the very fictional Braverman’s should have been using different therapy techniques with their autistic son. Yeah, that’s sick, I know. I have a problem… I’m willing to admit it… but mama’s not alone girls and I know some of you have the disease too!!
The bottom line is, it doesn’t matter if it’s because we love the person so much, or we’re passionate about something or we just plain think we know more than anybody else on a given subject… IF SOMEONE WANTS OUR ADVICE - THEY WILL ASK… seriously. I’m not saying never confront or speak into a friend’s life when there are serious issues that could harm them or their family… but I think if we’re honest, a lot of the time we all just think a little too highly of our own opinions and think others should hold them in the same high esteem… and that’s just ugly and annoying:)
I’m reading this book, Victorious Living by E. Stanley Jones, it was written in 1936 and has some of the most profoundly simple advice for how to live in harmony within our own personal communities. Here’s a few things that socked me in the guts:
1. We should be on our guard that we do not thus become petty, always looking for something to correct. (hey it was written in 1936 people… that’s how they talked back then:))
2. Be willing to give way in small things that do not involve principles. (Meaning stop being a flippen control freak and be willing to not be “right” once in a while)
3. Refuse to look for slights and offenses. (OK kind of in the same ball park as number one… but I guess it’s important enough to allow a little redundancy)
I feel like it’s time for me to pull up my big girl undies and shut my big girl mouth. It’s time for me to listen to my husband and family and friends… really listen to them and not feel like I have to solve their life when mine is a crazy chaotic mess. It’s time for me to stop being so critical and thinking I know more than you… because it’s wrong and I don’t. Just think of how much less we will all annoy each other if we all just stop… are you with me? Can I get an AMEN??? or are you all going to “unfriend” me now??:):) I guess I’ll know shortly. ahahahaha.
What is the most annoying unsolicited advice you’ve ever gotten or given? (if you’re brave enough:))
Facebook Login Labels: advice, autism, funny, listening, problems, unsolicited advice
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)