My little sister Stefanie and I are 9 months apart. We are complete opposites in almost every way, so growing up, we bounced back and forth between being best friends and bitter enemies.  Now I’m glad to say that she’s truely one of my closest friends in the world… We are still extreme opposites though. This past weekend my mom and I loaded up the kids and drove to california to my sister’s house for my niece Ava’s 2nd B-day party. This is what we arrived to:

       

A circus themed party complete with mini corn dogs, a nacho building station, chocolate carmel apples, cotton candy and a custom cake with hand painted horses on the carousel. This is the epitome of my sister… she is Martha Stewart to the core and being a mom and a homemaker is exactly what she’s always wanted to do. Now, if this was my kid’s party there would be an uneven betty crocker box mix cake on the table and presents wrapped with diego band-aids (not even kidding…sadly that’s how my children experience birthdays.)

       

She even made sure that my kids (on the extreme GFCF diet) had fun things to eat… I’m telling you she’s amazing!! She didn’t even mind when Sawyer came out screaming for everyone to stop singing “happy birthday” and let him sing it to Ava instead. (Slightly embarrassing and one of the major reasons we avoid birthday parties in general:)) 

Since I was in the third grade I have prayed that God would use me to do something big in life to really impact the world… I just knew I would be a missionary in Africa, working in a hospital or teaching english… instead that dream went to a friend of mine and I am home with three boys. I LOVE my life… I love it… it’s just the exact opposite of what I always dreamed it would be… and honestly I struggle with the domestic stuff. I don’t like cooking or baking or gardening…I HATE housework and organizing … but I love my boys (all of my boys) more than anything in the world. They are my life, my breath and my reason for living.

I do know though, that giving up on my dreams would be doing a disservice to my babies. WhileEarth Monkeys isn’t world changing or life altering… it is a passion of mine. Trying to get a company off the ground in the midst of the chaos of life is exhausting and there have been plenty of times I’ve wanted to give up… but I know that God is pushing me to challenge myself. I think it’s important for all moms to remember what your dreams and passions were before kids… for many, like my mom and sisters, being a mom and home maker is what they shine at and that’s amazing… but for others, like me… who realize that God made microwave cooking and box mixes for a reason…don’t give up on being you… we owe it to our kids and our spouses to be who God created us to be…What’s your dream?

Gena:                                                                                                                                                                    

I am a perfect mom.  I am the mom my friends look up to, the one my family calls on for advice.  My children lovingly obey my every word and even my husband idolizes my parenting skills…Do I have your attention? Great!  Now let me tell you the truth…

It was a day like any other day when like an unexpected gift, Nevaeh’s dream came true.  She found a bird! But not just any bird, he was a beautiful green color with scarlet red on his belly, oh and did I mention, he was dead!   This is the part where my common sense began to fail me.  We lovingly named him “Petey” (as in the dead bird from dumb and dumber) and decide that it would be ok for her to cradle him in her arms and carry him around like a long lost friend.  It seamed harmless enough till Petey joined us at a family event and my sister-in-law clearly became appalled at my unwise parenting choices.  The highlight of the story was when Nevaeh woke up in the middle of the night with a raging fever and I ended up on the computer researching bird flu!  I begged God to take me and not my sweet little girl, because it wasn’t her bad choice but mine that made her sick!

The next day her doctor reassured us that everything was fine and luckily the only thing damaged was my pride!  That day is now commonly referred to as “the day I lost my mom of the year award”!

So I ask myself,  “do I compare myself to other moms?”  and to this I have to answer honestly, Not often.  I do very frequently compare myself to my harshest critic though…me.  I know the kind of mom I strive to be and frankly, I often fail miserably. Lets just say that I have to apologize to my kids so often that to them I think it is equivalent of them asking me for a drink of water!  

I talk often to mothers of grown kids and know that the advice most often given by them is to do your best and your kids at some point will make their own decisions, in spite of all of your hard work! Encouraging?…I’m not sure about that, but I like the honesty!

   

I think that it would be healthy for all of us moms to stop assuming that other moms have it all together and its tied up with a pretty little bow. I want to only compare myself to the mom that I want to be and strive daily to be THAT mom.   I want to be the mom that can look back and have no judgment, no disappointment and no regrets.  Is this a lofty goal? Probably so but I wont base it on any one else’s successes or failures, only my own.

While I am fully aware that Fridays are the days we are both supposed to weigh in… I am tired, grouchy and just plain nasty today (to put it nicely). In the interest of still having friends and loved ones after my post…I am going to keep my opinions to myself and go find some sort of tool to rip my ever loving ovaries out because mama is going to go postal if these cramps don’t go away!!! Have a great weekend!:)