Earth Monkey Moms: gratitude

Showing posts with label gratitude. Show all posts

Friday, September 23, 2011

{An Extreme Journey}... Why Us?

Photo by Tara Behnke

To my wonderful, amazing, incredible, talented, family, friends and community...

From the overwhelmingly beautiful moment when Ty, Paige, Ed, Jeff and Pauly (and the entire EM:HE crew) knocked on our door, to the emotionally surreal "reveal"... I feel like I have been asking God one question... Why us?

Hearing the amazing stories of out of work contractors who volunteered and sacrificial giving in it's purest form almost makes me weep... Why us Lord? And even now as I type in the most amazing living room I could have ever imagined... I am thinking ... this is too much... Why Us Lord?

There were so many people who came and served with their own inspirational stories... so many who came gave more than they really had to give. At least one amazing angel I know for sure was actually homeless, she made a cross necklace for us out of nails and wire as she watched a home being built for a family she didn't know... Why Us Lord??

Of course I don't have the answer... your comments and emails have been so encouraging but I feel like I should make it clear ...we know we're not deserving of such a gift... no one really is. My friend Nikki put it so well the other day when she said, "receive & enjoy it for the gift that it is from God, all grace from his endless goodness, not because you deserve it."

My mom just read me a devotional about 2 Samuel 23... where David is so thirsty his men cross enemy lines to get him water from the well at Bethlehem... when they came back he couldn't drink it because it was too great of a gift for himself... he had to pour it out for the Lord.

This idea of pouring out a monumental blessing has consumed me... this house... this gift ... your sacrificial blessing for our family... is not deserved, but it has been received with overwhelming joy and gratitude. Now all we can do is continue to "pour it out" as a blessing for our friends and family... our community and most of all for our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and his Kingdom.

I get that not all of you who read this share my faith in such a mighty and forgiving God... but you have to know I couldn't share this experience without sharing what he has done in me through it. Seeing each of you in photos and on the news working for our family is like watching God's love in action. I don't know why God chose us for such a tremendous gift... just know this is only the start to the EXTREME Journey we GET to be apart of, and we are so immensely blessed to see where He will take us next!

I also want to give a HUGENORMOUS thank you to all of you amazing EMM's. You can't know how amazing it feels to be loved and supported by so many incredible moms! I love you with all of my heart!!

Ark Built Renovations headed up by Rush Behnke and Ken Snelling and The Dream Team thought up this up this lavishly beautiful amazing breathtaking project... These men are the most amazing examples of God's grace, love and mercy... not only are they so incredibly talented... but they are people we should all strive to be like. We love you and your families so much, seeing God in you has changed us at our core and inspired us in ways you'll never know!

We have made some amazing friends from the Extreme Team, and we are so blessed that you considered us worthy of such a gift... we won't let you down... we will pay it forward. God has used you in a mighty way to change our family's legacy and to unite the most amazing community on earth! Thank you!

Love With All Of our Hearts and Souls,

The McPhail's

Friday, November 5, 2010

Loving the one you’re with…

It's Friday, that means it's guest contributor time. EMM is so excited to welcome Katie Ristow! She married her college sweetheart, and together they continue in youth ministry. Last year they left her hometown and moved with their two daughters to Southern Oregon to start a young adult ministry at Table Rock Fellowship.

The other day my husband and I were arguing, but trying our hardest not to seem like we were, cause, you know, our kids wouldn’t know the difference, right? Well, our four- year old daughter climbed up between us and started telling some random story. She knew we had been arguing, and her little appearance was her attempt at making things right. I think all kids have that response built into them. They know when the peace is broken, they know when things aren’t okay, and they desperately long to get back to that.

Cause mom and dad are their whole world.

There are all sorts of things that I don’t want to pass onto my kids, like my fear or anxiety. And there are tons of things I DO want to pass onto them, like a love for the Lord, a balanced pursuit of their passions, and desire to minister to other people. But I think one of the best things I can do for them, is to love their daddy.

My husband and I fight FOR our marriage. We’ve been criticized for being overly affectionate, or too mushy, or blah blah blah. Turns out we have the same love language though, which is mushiness, and so it works fine for us. I’ve been criticized for the way I have built my home by other moms and singles. But, I am passionate about my home, my kids, and my marriage. And I guard those things with everything in me. I am careful about my time with my husband and making sure that HE is the person and MAN that I spend most of my time with. Because all of those things affect my home, my marriage, my kids. Every little thing. For the good or the bad.

To be honest, I mess up so much that I could definitely benefit from a giant can of whiteout. But, I’m trying to make our home a haven for my kids and my man. And I’ve found that in our home, what affects things the most, is the way my husband and I treat each other. If we’re arguing, the kids behave in a like manner. They’re behavior almost seems to demand our attention, I think, to get us to stop arguing.

We’ve all heard the saying, “If mama’s not happy, nobody’s happy.” But when it comes to mom and dad, if they’re not at peace, then nobody’s at peace. And so, even though I can follow the trail of dirty socks and shorts to where he is, and even though my one- year- old loves to wash her hands in the glass or food dish he left out the night before, I’m not going to criticize him. I’m going to focus on how grateful I am to have a man to clean up after, a man that loves the Lord, that loves me, and loves his kids. I’m going to forgive him for his forgetfulness that sometimes hurts my feelings, and am going to thank him for his faithfulness. I am going to get over myself, and open my eyes to what I have in him. Literally, my prince charming, only with a beard. And… the next time I argue with him, I’m going to do it in privacy where it won’t disrupt my little ones’ world. I’m going let them see us make up (appropriately, of course. Saving the inappropriate for the bedroom). And I’m going to encourage him.

It doesn’t just help he and I, but it helps our daughters. It rights their world. It shows them that mommy and daddy are okay, and if we are okay, then everything else is going to be okay too. It shows them what real forgiveness and love and faithfulness and right relationships look like.

For whatever reason, some of you are doing this parenting thing alone. Even though you’re in a much harder place, we’re all doing the same thing. We’ve all just got to be careful. Careful about whom we bring into our home, about how we speak about our kids’ father, and about how we set the mood of our home. God will be faithful even when others are not.

You’ll be amazed at how having a peaceful home, and, if you’re married, how a good marriage will affect your kids’ lives, from the way they behave at school, to the way they sleep at night. It’s a wonderful thing to walk through my home at night (which I do a lot because I’m a light sleeper), and to feel peace. To see your kids sleeping in peace, to lie down beside your husband in peace, and to rest even in the darkness because all is how it should be.

I learned a whole life’s worth of lessons sitting by my mom’s deathbed this year. Her cancer was swift moving, taking something from her with every passing breath, reducing her from a healthy, vibrant woman to nothing in a matter of five months. The last conversation she had with any of us was one beautiful morning in May of 2010 when she awoke coherent and lucid. My father rushed me, my 12 year old sister, and my 15 year old sister into the bedroom. We sat on the bed and she spoke to each of us, taking our hands and imparting a final blessing. For my youngest sister, it was an attempt at a sex talk that had something to do with mating bees. But for my father, it was the most surreal thing I have ever heard. My parents didn’t have a bad marriage, but it wasn’t a fairy tale either. And so, on this last good morning, she turned to him slowly, her eyes so full of heartache and tears that I can still remember exactly what they looked like, and she said, “You weren’t the easiest man to be married to. But you are a good man, and I don’t want to leave you.” And as sobs racked her body, they embraced and she cried again, “I don't want to leave you.”

It’s all about perspective. It’s about looking beyond the piles of laundry, the unpaid bills, the noise, and the sleepless nights and remembering that none of that really matters in the scope of eternity. What matters are our relationships. What matters is what we’re passing on to our kids. What matters is that we love the man we are with, with a love that is deep, true, passionate, forgiving, enduring, patient, kind, faithful and both inward and outward. And if the man you’re with is not lovable, you can still demonstrate forgiveness, endurance, patience, kindness, and faithfulness

For from our example is how our babies will learn to love.

Check Out Katie's Personal Blog at www.ristowswife.wordpress.com

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Gratitude…an overused term, an underused attitude!

I am fully convinced that my toddler has no idea that I’m totally envious of his 2-hour commitment to sleep daily at noon. The birds, like perfectly paired figure scatters, that swoop and circle in impeccable timing have no idea what it feels like to be able to only get your feet a few inches off the ground. And how can we forget The Little Mermaid who sang “what would I give if I could live out of these waters” she wanted to walk, not swim. I would love to experience myself quietly submerged in the water without struggling to hold my breath…These are things that make me wonder, what does my life look like to someone living in a grass hut?? Would it invoke the same jealously in them as theses moments do in me?

The answer to that I’m fully convinced of is YES. I would guess that most of us reading this, live in a home with floors and a roof, we drive a car even though it may feel more like a taxi, we have running water and toilets, and our closets are filled to overflowing (of course we all know you can never have too many shoes). But most of the time these “luxuries” cause us to complain!!

I want to live a life of gratitude. Every moment. Not only occasionally when everything feels harmonic, that is not frequent enough. I want to look around and not see the messes my kids have created for the hundredth time, but the fact that I have the two most amazing people on the planet making those messes. (I am crying as I write this) I may pull a meal out of the oven that is far from top chef quality, but it’s nourishing food. My husband daily makes an incredible mess of his sink, he leaves his nasty shoes on the counter, (gasp!) but he has more positives than I have words to describe. I don’t deserve him either! (Crying again! Sheesh!)

I frequently think of a program that I watched where a mother had to put her kids to bed for the night in the late afternoon because she had no more food to subdue their cries of hunger. My kids have a shelf dedicated to snacks, and fresh fruit at their constant disposal! Anyway, I guess my point is this…Our lives, no matter how challenging are cush! We complain a lot (even if its just on the inside) and I think that the things we complain about are the things most of this world would die to have. Seriously, I am so over grumbling when we really have no idea what it is like to live a hard life (I am fully aware that many have had huge hurdles in life) Please, please, please lets all start to get in the habit of appreciating all that we have and realize that most of the chaos is created by our excess anyway. There are men fighting wars, and women living in slavery in this world we live in…They would be shocked and saddened to hear us complain of picking up our kids toys, doing dishes and piles of laundry. Lets be grateful, not just when it feels like a moment of calm, but every moment. We have more to be grateful for than we can even comprehend!!

I’m fully aware that this is way too long, but I would like to add just one more thing. Growing up, my mom had this plaque hanging in our kitchen and it just recently really made sense to me…

Thank you God for dirty dishes, they have a tale to tell. While others may go hungry, we’re eating very well. With home and health and happiness I shouldn’t want to fuss, for by this stack of evidence God’s been good to us.

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