Babe, do you want me to help???

  

     This is a question I never thought that I would have to ask my husband.  Not when it came to us getting pregnant anyway....

Oh what a journey it was; trying to start a family... tests, turkey basters, adoptions falling through, and countless broken hearts!



     I remember the morning like it was yesterday.  It was "the day"!  The sun was shining, the birds were singing and I was OVULATING!!!  It was our  first try at artificial insemination and my sweet husband (oh he is going to kill me for this one!) had to "do his part".  I'm sure a lot of men would love having to do this, but not my modest man...he wont even say words like "fart, diarrhea, or gas" so for him "collecting sperm" was not at the top of his to do list that day!  I offered to help, but it was either out of embarrassment, or the fact that he got to act like a teenager again (tmi?) that he hung his head and went into the other room to do his business by himself.  I wont go into much more detail here, but lets just say he darted out the door with a glass jar full of his little swimmers, in a triple wrapped paper bag with masking tape locking it shut, tucked under his armpit to keep them warm.  I'm not sure if all the extra wrapping was out of embarrassment or because he thought they might try to escape?  Anyway...

  

     Apparently, the embarrassment only got worse when he entered the lab and was greeted by a very attractive lab tech, who asked if she could help him.  According to him, he said no thanks, and sat down to wait around for a slightly homelier tech that he wouldn't mind handing the glass jar of his goods to!  Oh how I would have liked to have been there for that one!

  

     I ceased to feel sorry for him though when a couple hours later it was my turn.  I guess in the lab, they do some fancy schmancy separating of the sperm and get the good ones...the nurse was especially excited about the one with the 2 tails or something crazy like that!  She was pretty sure, as I laid there spread eagle with a turkey baster up my Hoo Hoo that that one was going to be the one make it to the prize!  Guess she was wrong...



     After 3 tries, I had had enough.  Every month before and after the Dr. trying to "help", it was the same thing.  I'd start "my special girl time" (thats what we call it around here) the tears would break loose, and my heart would do the same.  I would cry to God, or more accurately, to my shame yell at him at the total unfairness that a 16 year old drug user could conceive, but me this perfect person (um ya right) could not!  Honestly, there were a good many times, I am surprised lightening didn't blast down onto my head as I sat there on my toilet cursing God!  Oh man how I wish I didn't have to admit to this!



     My journey is one that I could tell an entirely too long of a story about, this is just a tiny fraction of it, and if you have been there, you know words could never fully capture the true struggle.



     I am more excited to tell you about the two children that we did end up with through adoption.  Their stories are ones of miracles and blessings, pain and tears.  I will tell them as best as I can someday...but today I just wanted to throw this part out there to all of you who have struggled with infertility, or do currently.  It is hard. One of the hardest things I have ever been through.  I will not be giving advice, or trying to make it all better; I don't think thats even possible.  I just want you all to know that there are a bunch of us out there and we need each other.  I wish that I could have had someone who truly understood what I was going through!  If you know someone on this journey, just listen.  Don't try to give great advice...it doesn't work.  If you are going through it, I send you a hug that would maybe be tight enough to squeeze out a bit of your hurt!



We would love for you to share us with anyone you think needs a good dose of mommy reality!  Thanks for your support!



We are excited to announce that we will now gift wrap and direct ship your Earth Monkey treasures to your favorite mama to be (or mama is)!!!  To celebrate, this week we are offering free gift wrapping!!!  One week only, so don't wait!