Some of last year's "trashy" bootcamp girls... this years pic is soon to be posted!

There's nothing quite like a trashy bootcamp on a warm summer morning to wake you up and sometimes make you wish that you were dead. Not trashy as in stripper poles in my back yard... (bwahahaha... sorry I just pictured that:)) I'm talking dodging the 17 kids, and piles of dog poop while we work out kind of "trashy". The, my kids pull down their pants and pee in the yard in front of everyone "trashy". The, I rarely brush my teeth and am usually wearing the clothes I worked out in yesterday because I haven't showered in three days "trashy". And I LOVE it!





For anyone who has ever read this blog you know that as the self proclaimed Anti-Martha, "DIY's" and "How To's" are not my thing... but I have to say our little "Trashy" bootcamp group has become one of my very favorite things about summer. Bringing women together from ages 16 to 65... laughing, talking, gagging, and sometimes even cursing whoever it was that invented stinking mountain climbers and burpees. I LOVE it all... I love seeing the kids play (and sometimes try to shank each other with broken sand toys), and I love seeing some my closest friends several times a week which would never happen otherwise.



While I could make a list of thousands of things I could never tell anyone how to do... today trashy bootcamp is not one of them... SO... are you ready??? are you sure??? Here's one of the only times you'll see me post a "HOW TO"here on EMM... I hope you can create something as meaningful and trashy as we've been able to do.... hehehe!



How To: MakeYour Own "Trashy Bootcamp"

• Pick Up The Dog Poop... really... just do it...


• Make sure you have lots of outside toys to keep the kids entertained ...then LOCK your stinken doors... it's never good when you realize little johnny's gone missing and is inside painting a mural with permanent marker down your hallway.


• Turn off the sprinklers that are programmed to come on in the middle of bear crawls.


• Make sure your friends know YOU'RE NOT A PRO and therefor not responsible for their weight loss, gain or pulled whoowhoo muscles... it's more like a play-date on crack with a purpose than a personal training session.


• Don't let it turn into a gab session... keep things moving and slighty organized so everyone has fun but feels it the next day... (I have to say I get enjoyment out of planning workouts I know they're going to be cursing me for the next day... the problem is I'm cursing me too... I'm kinda sick that way)


• Pick a Pro... find a workout dvd you like or a fitness app (I like Nike Training Club) and design your workouts around what they teach. You're more likely to do the exercises safety and effectively if you've seen them done and have done them before...


• Have Fun!! Don't roll your eyes at me... I HATE working out... and I don't work out most of the winter when we can't have bootcamp. There is seriously something awesome about working out with friends and sharing in the pain of finishing a workout when you normally would give up and go get a latte.

{By Guest Contributor: Laura Moriarity}

It was a hot, dusty Southern Oregon morning in 1988. My mom had signed me up to run in the” Mini Marathon” at Sam’s Valley Elementary School. There I was, a chubby 4th grader standing on the starting line of some great idea from the mom with the fit kids at a PTA meeting. As I stood there a sense of absolute dread came over me. I panicked. What was I doing? Am I supposed to run up THAT HILL? Then all of a sudden some crazy parent in short-shorts, Asics and a sweatband yelled “GO”! Everyone started sprinting like there were puppies and unicorns on the other side of the hill of death, so stupidly I started sprinting too. After about 2 minutes I thought my lungs were literally on fire and going to explode. To make matters worse (like there is something worse than your lungs exploding) I was certain I was about to puke for the second time ever in public (yes it was that dramatic, and puking in public IS worse than your lungs exploding when you are 9). I was traumatized. The next year I volunteered at the doughnut table and took home the free t-shirt.

This is how mama rolls!

So how did that traumatized 4th grader go from the “Mini Marathon” nightmare to not only choosing to, but spending hours raising money and training for a 26.2 mile real marathon? (By the way, my fantasy of appearing on the cover of Runner’s World Magazine as my hot skinny butt crossed the finish line in record time did not come true- the reality was I ran the last 3 miles with a migraine, I think I was crying when I got there, and my 10 pound heavier butt ran straight for my mom. Oh, and my time was slower than Oprah’s). But here is the thing, outside of childbirth I have never felt more accomplished or AMAZED at what my body could do than I did that day.



I am not sure how I got there really. It would be great to be able to insert some movie montage set to “Eye of the Tiger” here to motivate you all, but really I think I just decided one day that I was too poor for a gym membership, I felt too chubs to work out at one anyway, AND if I was going to puke I would rather do it outside. I knew I was 20 pounds overweight and all of my quick fixes did NOT work. I knew I had to get up off my butt and DO something.



The good news is I have grown to love it. Now instead of viewing running as a horrible lung bursting puke-fest (although it is that sometimes) I see it as affordable therapy. Challenging myself to enter races (no matter if it is a 5K or a full marathon) has transformed the way I think about weight and about my body. I find when I am training for a race I do not obsess over the number on the scale, instead I think about how many miles I was able to run while pushing 60 pounds of stroller, children, stuffed animals, blankies and snacks. I thank God for my body when I cross the finish line. I smile like a crazy person when I am passed by 70 year old ladies during a race because it gives me a crazy sense of hope. I don’t care if I am fast, I don’t care if I win anything, I just LOVE that I can survive it. Experiencing that split moment of absolute amazement at my imperfect but ABLE body is something I need as a women. So with that, just try it. Who knows, you may actually like itJ to help you get going here are my “10 running tips from an unlikely runner”

My 2 year old daughter running the last 1/2 mile with me!

1. {Run for a cause} For my marathon I raised $2,500 for the Leukemia Lymphoma Society through Team In Training www.teamintraining.com. On those days I would have rather died than put on my running shoes I remembered that the people I was running for may never get the opportunity to do what I was doing so suck it up! Many races give the proceeds to foundations or agencies- pick one and put it in perspective!


2. {Brag about it!} post it on Facebook, tell your friends, milk every sore muscle and every ½ mile you possibly can-it helps with accountability!


3. {Download a training program} I like Hal Higdon’s as the schedules are realistic to incorporate in my crazy life. http://www.halhigdon.com


4. {Listen} to your body


5. {Get} a good pair of shoes


6. {Eat}


7. {Do it with and for your kids} Check out the picture of my 2 year old running the last half mile with me...


8. {Get an App} Like Runtastic or the one from Nike to track your calories, distance and progress


9. {Get a running partner} or join a running group (or start your own.)


10. {Sign Up}To really bring this thing full circle you can always sign your kids up for the Mini Marathon  http://kohd.com/news/local/193513

I don't know about you all, but for me, this is the time of the year when I start to think "seriously". Not "seriously" as in seriously...but "seriously" as in "seriously, is the sun every going to come out, is the rain ever going to stop, will I ever wear shorts again???"



The Holidays, aka "the most wonderful time of the year" are over, spring break is still months away, and the prospect of wearing something other than a jacket, boots and scarf feel like light years away.  I feel like a caged lion pacing my floor peering out my windows, praying for a glimpse of sunlight, or a spot of color from a spring flower peaking its little head from beneath the snow (ok so that part is just a little bit of drama, but you get the point)....



Iv'e had to get creative recently to get my mind and body to a more summer kind of a feeling, and get out of this winter blues trap.  So here it goes...none of this require much time, much money or much creativity, but doing any or all of them may just brighten all of our days!



1) Polish your toenails.  During the winter, this part of me is severely neglected.  Because of the fact that no one sees them unless they are in the shower with me...so that would limit it to my 2 year old.  Although he could care less about the condition of my toenails, I am amazed at what a bright cheery color can do for me.  Note:  I did not say "get a pedicure".  If you have the time and money for this, by all means go for it!  If you don't, pick up some Sally Hansen quick dry in a bright color (no dark colors). It dries in minutes (for real!) and makes you feel like you should be on a beach in Hawaii!....um, I guess thats a good thing?



2)  Get outside!  I don't care if its crazy cold.  Bundle yourself and the kids up and go run around for 15 minutes.  If you are lucky enough to have glimpses of the sun, make up a picnic, sit in the backyard and pretend like its 80 degrees!  My kids love this!  And I have to admit that it brightens my day too.  It makes me slow down, chill (sometimes literally) and just "be" with my kids.  And just a side note, what is up with our crazy fear of the sun???  (stick with me here).  I get it, wrinkles, cancer, burns.  It's all scary!  But do you know that sun is essential to our health????  Small amounts at a time (15 min a day) is very beneficial...if you don't believe me, do a bit of research!  Save the sunscreen for a full day at the lake, but especially this time a year, it is completely necessary for us...why do you think so many are people are sick this time a year?  Bring on the Vit. D!!! AKA...sunlight!



3)  Get off your butt and move!  If you can, go for a walk, ride a bike, or just a stroll to the mailbox, you and your kids need to move around.  A day stuck inside, watching tv, is enough to put anyone into a depression!  The other night, I pulled up some dance music on the computer and we went crazy.  I'm sure the neighbors thought that I was having some sort of a weird seizure, but we had a hilariously good time and got our heart-rates up in the process!!  Movement and laughter...perfect "medicine"!!



4)  I love to do a simple face mask once in a while that makes my skin feel so yummy, and takes away that dead dry feel...here it is, made from stuff from the pantry...



1T. Oatmeal (grind it up very fine)

5 Aspirin (yep, the stuff for your heart) ground up totally

1T. Honey

I sometimes throw in a bit of avocado, blueberries, or yogurt...whatever I have around!

Put it on your clean skin for 20 min then "scrub" it off gently with a bit of water and your fingertips.  Your face will feel like your babies butt!  Minus the poop smell!





5)  Take a shower.  A real one.  Minus the child.  Lock the door. Shave. Condition.

Finish with coconut oil!  The smell will make you feel like your in the tropics...maybe at this point you should just go to bed.  Ya.  Don't look out of the bedroom door.  Just pretend like there is not a huge disaster waiting on the other side....



6) My last "tip"...don't be afraid of a little self tanner.  The gradual stuff is fool proof, and even the hard core kind is hard to mess up.  I like to do my neck, forehead, cheeks and arms at night, and in the morning, I wake up to a nice glow.  Oh how it makes me feel sooooo much better.  If you are too nervous for it, get a good bronzer and just put a little on the spots that the sun would normally hit!  Your kids will wonder why you are walking around singing like Snow White!



I would love to know what you do to brighten up the dull days of winter..."comment" below and give us some more tips!



And as always, share us with those you love!!

So I'm doing to "Game On Diet" and Saturdays are my free days... before noon today I had almost put myself into a sugar induced coma... it was so bad that I had to go take a nap.. and I NEVER take naps. So to make up for my sinful ways, when I got up the kids and I cranked the tunes and had a little dance party... I now feel 47% better and the urge to puke with the slightest movement is gone... Here was our favorite dance party song today because... There's Nothing Wrong With Lovin Chunky...



PS Before you get your panties in a bunch it's G rated and from the Madagascar 2 soundtrack:)

OK, so mornings around here are almost comical they are so hectic and crazy, I have to laugh or I will cry. Usually somewhere between 4:30 and 5 the kids are up jumping on us, prying our eyes open with their chubby little fingers. We try to get them to “snug” with us as long as possible and only roll out of bed after someone’s diaper has exploded, or sibling rivalry has commenced to such a point that someone is about to be shanked with a broken toy.



This morning within minutes of making lunches and breakfast and shooing my husband and older son out the door I heard.. “POOP!” …I wish they were just using slang, but not my oh so literal boys… Crew had ripped off his diaper and pooped and peed across the entire kitchen floor… but hey, at least it was in the kitchen, usually I just head straight for the carpet cleaner when I hear that. To make things even a little crazier, I was working on getting a friend some info on Earth Monkeys for an article she’s writing … my brain was foggy (well, that and I had to get up every 30 seconds to “help” my kids share) anyway,  it had taken forever to get the wording just how I wanted it, when I got up for the seven thousandth time in a 5 minute period, I forgot to hit save and my 2 year old snuck in and unplugged the computer. I had to just keep saying, ” happy place, happy place… go to your happy place… just smile… don’t scream.” I’m sure I looked like a crazed lunatic with an eerie serial killer type smile plastered on my face.

Ahhh… so what’s my point?  I know I’m not alone with the poop, and the shanking, and the crying and the craziness of life. I know I’m not the only one who feels like there is actually not one second of the day that I can have to myself for anything.

I have really been trying to work out daily… my husband goes to the gym and that’s just not possible for me. I tell myself all day, “As soon as _____ is done, then I can work out.” But the truth is, I hate it and end up not doing it at all. So I came up with a solution… (that doesn’t usually happen to me:)) The other night a bunch of us EMM’s went to a halloween party and danced like CRAZY… my legs hurt for two days, it was so much fun.