My dream as a child was to travel the world, possibly join the Peace Corp, and ultimately write for National Geographic. It definitely wasn’t to chase kids around all day, changing diapers, doing dishes, cleaning up dog vomit and then the laundry…how the hell is there so much laundry in this house? I wear the same jeans three days in a row, hey don’t judge, they fit the best after day two, I would go four, but with my kids, there could be any number of things stuck to them, so even three days is pushing it, anyhow where was I?



Oh yeah, okay so my dream…right, I always wanted to be a mom, I just didn’t realize how much work it is to be a parent! I kinda thought that being a parent would be easy and fun. I thought that babies were so precious and slept “like babies” (who ever thought of that saying, obviously never had children). I thought it would be like the commercials, or the movies. Oh cute baby, magically turns into cute toddler, yes there are terrible twos, but everyone laughs about those, and then they become little kids who you can explore with and have fun with and play board games with, then the teenage years, coming of age, high school football games, first loves, chasing boyfriends out of bedroom windows, then college, then weddings, then magically I would be old and have my whole family, four children, my wonderful husband, the great grandparents all sitting around the Thanksgiving table, smiling in awe as I (who am in this vision, amazingly beautiful BTW) bring out an enormous turkey and set it down on our lavishly long table.





The reality is kinda depressing, so I won’t go into it too much. Wait that can’t be right? It isn’t depressing it’s just… work. None of it is easy. Being woken up every two hours by a newborn is enough to make even the strongest men and women cry. Potty training a toddler, or trying not to KILL everyone who gives you parenting advice, that you NEVER ask for - is work. Just the day to day, waking, diaper, breakfast, cleaning hands, faces, tables, feet (really how did you get that on your foot??), play time, monitoring while trying to get any amount of housework done, trying to be successful as something other than a mother (yeah good luck), ending fights, cleaning spills, more diapers, more meals, more laundry, putting on a smile when the husband gets home… it goes on and on, and only a parent can truly understand. Only someone who has been in those dark moments in the middle of the night, while a colicky baby screams for hours and hours and there is nothing you can do to stop it will understand what I mean by… how did I get here?



Maybe it’s just that no one really sees the efforts of a parent until those efforts are not there. Think about it, who are the families on the news? Who make the headlines? It’s always when something goes wrong. For the rest of the parents out there, there is no pat on the back, no one really says, “hey you’re doing a really good job.” It’s only when we aren’t doing our jobs that people notice. Think about it, when you see a child misbehaving in a store, or a child who desperately needs a bath…do we ever really pay attention when the mom with the clean, cute well behaved kids, comes through the door?



It reminds me of a story I heard once, it was about this little town and the one water source in the town was a stream. At the source of the water was a man who maintained the stream, he cleaned it, made sure there were no impurities, he took care of it for everyone. However, one year a new mayor was elected and he decided that paying this man to maintain the stream was ridiculous. So he cut the job, because really how hard is it for a stream to stay clean? Well within a few months people began getting sick, the water became cloudy, it smelled and was undrinkable, no one really understood what had happened, except the one man who once was the keeper of the stream. He was unappreciated, no one knew what he did, when his job was on the line, people criticized him for how much he had been paid for “doing nothing.” And now they all paid the price for not understanding and not valuing his work.





So no, this wasn’t my dream. Are you kidding, I just mowed all the weeds around our house for the last 2 hours, to get a BREAK! But this is my job, raising kids, taking care of the house, instilling values, making sure the clothes are clean and that everyone is eating enough vegetables. Yup that’s my job. It’s not glamorous (I just had a talk with my five year old about where we put our boogers). But it’s my job.



I am a writer, but first and foremost I am a mom, whether that works with my deadlines or not (usually not). I try to be a good wife, a good friend, a good daughter, a good member of society, a good pet owner…uhg so many responsibilities…but I have to remember that no matter what, right now, being a parent is my number one job. If I don’t do that then everything around me will fall apart too. I am responsible for the outcome of two little girls. Will they be successful adults, will they want to be smart and become contributing members of society? That is my job, and no one around me may understand the value of it, but I have to remember the value, because as soon as I forget, I can guarantee that all those people who didn’t see “what the big deal was” will be complaining about how my horrible parenting is! And then I’ll be blamed for the community falling apart. Okay so they might not be saying that, but it sure does feel like it when someone criticizes how you parent - doesn’t it.



We are all “the keeper of the stream.” It’s true, my kids…your kids…are the water, the lifeline, the future - of our communities. Raising them well, is something to be proud of. So no matter how much those long, never ending nights last, no matter how many diapers, or how many loads of laundry, I’ll try to remember that I’m making a difference. No one may ever say “thank you” for all of my hard work, in fact they probably won’t, and that’s why it’s even more important that I know I’m making a difference.



You are too by the way...has anyone told you today that you’re making a difference in the future of our society? Has anyone told you that you have a purpose? No?





Well you are. So thank you for changing the diapers, and cleaning the sink. Thank you for reading to your kids, thank you for kissing them goodnight…thank you for doing the hardest job you’ll ever love, wait that’s the Peace Corp – and I hear they let you sleep in the Peace Corp… SEE being a parent is even harder, and one day if you don’t already, you will love it.







Shauna... is a stay at home mom of two girls, she's the author of the "Waypoint" book series, and her personal blog"Breathe, Smile, Pray...Repeat." Her girls keep her on her toes, and have been the inspiration for many blog posts, here and on BSPR. She's just an ordinary mom trying to master the most natural job in the world.

Check out Shauna' sites:

www.waypointbookseries.com

www.breathesmileprayrepeat.blogspot.com