Stats courtesy of Autism Society of Oregon

A couple of years ago our fence blew down from a big wind storm. The guy who came to fix it was huge...   Like 6'6 and over 300 lbs., he had a scruffy beard and wasn't overly friendly.  When he knocked on the door I opened it just wide enough to stick my head out... not because I was afraid of him, but because I have a 100 lb Burnese mountain dog and 3 boys who run for an open door like like prisoners on a jail break. I was talking out the details with him outside while using my remaining body parts to block any semblance of daylight so the wild beasts couldn't escape.  That lasted for all of 30 seconds before Sawyer, my oldest squeezed between my legs and made it onto the front porch. I should mention that Sawyer has always been HUGE for his age and at that point wasn't potty trained... oh and my kids are almost never dressed... ever... they hate clothes. Anyway, Sawyer squeezed out wearing only a pull-up... he was 4 then but he looked about 7. So he ran up to the big scary fence guy... wrapped his arms around him and said, "I've missed you so much". The guy didn't know what to do and awkwardly patted Sawyer on the shoulder and said, "Thanks"



April is autism awareness month...  so why should you care? Because Autism probably looks a lot different than you think it does... AND because 1 in 91 children nationwide are diagnosed with it every year. If you're new to this blog I should mention that Sawyer and Thatcher, my two oldest have PDD-NOS, a form of autism.  Sawyer knows no stranger, he has no clue about social boundaries and is what we call "hyper social". He loves to hug everyone and more than once has decided a stranger's boob also doubles as a great hand rest.



While I can think of hundred funny stories to share about my quirky guys, autism can also be a lonely place. Friends and family often pull away because they don't know how to help and honestly I find that it's easier just to stay home than it is to go out and brave the stares and comments of judgmental on lookers. After our middle son Thatcher was diagnosed I kind of went into a deep depression... there were nights (after he had spent ALL day screaming) when I honestly told God that it would be ok with me if I just didn't wake up in the morning... I know that's total drama, but I didn't know how I was going to make it one more minute... much less a life time with these special boys who needed so much more from me than I could give them. (OK, I promise you won't need prozac to finish this post.)



My point is... my boys are amazing... A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!! They have given me so much perspective and they have taught me to find joy in every little victory... but there were days, and still are days, that are rough... and having the friends and family and support system that I have, is what gets me through. But I wonder how many thousands of moms go to bed at night hopeless, alone and lost... who desperately need a friend who just gets it... who doesn't judge or give them advice, but who can just be there. Someone who can accept and love all of the amazing things about her child... someone who see's how many gifts her little one has to offer. I'm writing this post because there might be a day when you need to step up and be that friend, that sister, that mother... who just gets it.



During the month of April not all of our posts on EMM will be about autism... but we will be going "blue" to show our support and spread awareness. We will also have links at the bottom of all of our posts to other mommy blogger who are also "Mother Warriors".  So check them out... read their posts and choose to educate yourself about a growing epidemic that possibly affects someone you know.



P.S. I am the biggest weenie ever and I hate public speaking but I am speaking on this exact same topic Friday night at an Autism Gala... your thoughts and prayers would be very appreciated since my pits get sweaty and I throw up a little in my mouth just thinking about it:)

     I am a divorcé.   Oh the horror, gasp, no way, OMG!  There was a time in my early years of being married that I was very judgmental toward people that did not "honor their commitment to marriage!" Wow how those kind of stupid "holier than thou" thoughts have come back to bite me in the butt!!!

     I was married for almost 7 years when a week before our 8th anniversary, my husband moved out.  Now I'm sure that you all are just dying to hear that story, (right) but suffice it say that it happened very suddenly and I not only lost my husband, but my best friend (you get my drift???).  To say that it was horribly devastating, heartbreaking and traumatic, is at best, and understatement.  I remember the moment that I learned why they call it a "broken heart", and why someone could drive off of a cliff because of it.  This was the person that I had committed my life to, the man I thought I would grow old with, the man I built my life around!  Thank God I was lucky enough to have the support of my loving family, my friends, my God and it was because of their love that I made it through this horrible process.

     What I want to talk about though, is what I learned from it all...not everything, because that would take days!!!  I have had the chance to talk to loads of women who have gone through the same thing;  The heartbreak is about the same but the major difference is how we come out of it in the end.  I'm super competitive and I think at the end of it all, this



So I have to admit to something. I fully realize that I just stopped mid sentence but I was trying to write this in the middle of my day with the kids running around all crazy like. I have now had dinner, a margarita and the kids are taking a bubble bath. Not alone people! Sheesh I'm not totally inept as a parent.   Anyway, the advice could get really good now, after a margi, even though I may regret what I'm saying in the morning.. Now back to that amazing advice I was about to give you....



     See, what I learned is that I can sit around for days, months or even years and feel sorry for myself.  I   could wallow in self pity, sulk and bore everyone with the details for years on how "my x this, and my x that".  Wouldn't that be productive! I'm sorry, but to be totally honest, I talked to so many women who gave their exes that kind of power over them for years, lots of years, and I was determined to NOT be one of them. Seriously, I had every right to be bitter and angry but then who still has the power over me?  He would have!   Call me crazy, but that was the last thing I wanted to give him was more power!!!  Let me be totally clear,



     I started hanging out with my sweet husband much before I ever even thought it was a good idea. He was just a friend, really people!  Let me just be clear...this is not part of my "advice"...I'm not suggesting to anyone in this situation that you date right away and marry the first guy that comes along without years of healing; but for me it was right.  (one other thing I have stopped being judgmental about!) For sure there were times when my past snuck in like a punch in the face, but again I had to remind myself..."do I give my x that kind of power over me??".  For me the answer was always  NO. I had a very hard time trusting, but my husband is NOT my x!  Life is scary and unpredictable. "it" could happen to me again, but do I live in fear?  Do I let my past dictate my future? Heeeellll noooooooooooo!  I look at my husband and praise God for letting him be the man I get to share my life with.  I look at my kids, amazing, beautiful little faces and weap at the thought that they would not be ours if I would have been too scared to move on!  We just celebrated 8 years of marriage and I love him more than I did when I married him!

     We all have the crap from our past that scares us into paralysis...whether it's abuse from a parent, someone abandoning you, death, or like me divorce, and I certainly don't want to insult anyone or in anyway oversimplify any of these traumas, but at the end of the day, it's up to you. Are you going to give that asshole person from your past control over how you choose your future?  Or are you going to be brave, take a leap of faith and jump? That doesn't mean be unwise, but it does mean to do your best to trust and move on. Could you get hurt again? Yup! Should that keep you from being brave and trying? Nope! You survived lady!!!! now get off the couch and go live!  Let your past give you streingth because you are wiser, and more resilient.  Life is waiting, be brave and live!  (or I will come to your house and give you a good dose of Gena drill sergeant!...too much?  Must be the margi speaking!)







Please remember if you love us, to sign up and follow us ;)...and pass us on to all the women that you think need a good dose of reality love!  And please share by commenting below...we all need each other to grow and heal!

Forgive me in advance if I offend you but I'm here today to instigate your cell phone intervention/etiquette. Don't have a cell phone? Then you are excused. The rest of you stay put.



I recently bought a smart phone and while I am the first to say they really shouldn't sell smart phones to dumb people, I am loving all the bells and whistles my grandkiddos have taught me to use. But thee best invention in cell phone technology, in my opinion, is still text messaging. I love love love texting. My husband repeatedly asks, "wouldn't it be easier to just call?" No it would not. I am a social reject and texting allows me to avoid social pitfalls.



I consider myself a fairly forward thinking granny. In a recent conversation with other old ladies regarding the appropriate age for children to own a phone, I was the lone defender of kiddos having phones. I love that several of my grandkids have their own phones. It helps an old granny feel connected to their young lives to send or receive a text from them.



Cell phone technology is amazing but are you a slave to your phone? Does your phone own you or at least 90% of your time and attention? "No!" You say? Do you carry it absolutely everywhere with you? Are you frantic when you lose it? Do you text while driving? Have you ever put your kids with a variation of this statement?: Mommy will help you stop the bleeding as soon as I answer this text, try to not cry so loudly so I can concentrate on what I need to say sweetie." Do you answer texts while on a date night or at family gatherings? Does the idea of turning your phone o-f-f make you shudder? Are you rolling your eyes and muttering "what's your point old woman?"



The point is that technology has subtley crept in and taken over our lives. When I got my first cell phone it was never a consideration that my children would have one. Not surprisingly times have changed and everybody and their six year old owns cell phones. Great concept, just not well thought through. Along with the users manual the manufacturers should also have included the basic cell phone ettiquette manual. I have taken it on myself to develop a list of instructions regarding cell phone manners. Let me know if you think it's too harsh.



1. It is never okay to leave your phone on, much less text while at a movie. This includes a family movie night in front of a t.v. it irks me that I need to tell you this.



2. It is never okay to text and drive and if your kids are in the car while you are doing this they should be removed from your home by Childrens Services because you are endangering all of your lives and the life of every person in the cars you pass by. It really irks me to have to say this.



3. Yes it will hurt your mom/gma's feeling if while visiting said matriarch you spend the entire visit texting with your boyfriend, business partner, local florist, orthodontist.....



4. Always leave the phone in the house while playing outside with your kids.



5. The sun will come up in the morning if you turn your phone off for short periods of time.



These are my top 5 but surely you get my drift. I must not be the only one out there feeling sensitive about the lack of manners. There was a recent episode of Dateline on this very subject. Check out hulu.com or nbc.com to tune in. They interviewed kids ages 5-15ish. When they asked the kids how it made them feel when mom was always on her phone one of the little guys said, " It makes me feel like I'm not important to her." Ouch.



We are our children's example. How we set our limits or lack there of is going to be what our children default to when they are phone users. I get what the Dateline kids were saying. I've been on the receiving of what I'll call the cell phone snub.



My challenge to whom ever this may apply is this: Hang it up, put it down, or turn it off. I double dog dare you to do as I say............... buy bye.



{Editor's Note: While she swears this post isn't about me... uhhhh it was... and I'm torn, part of me wants to say bite me I'm not that bad... but then I have to wonder why I'm so defensive... darn moms think they know everything!!!}



On that note... we want to hear what you really think... in honor of my coffee Nazi mother, I will buy one random commenter (who also has to be a google follower) a gift card for one coffee from the stand/company of your choosing! 

It wouldn't be a McPhail family pic if there weren't dirty faces involved!

I'm late for everything... E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!!! I usually have too much going on and I'm always in a chaotic rush. The more I have to do, the more "crazy" mommy tends to surface.   I've just been in a funk for like over a month. It doesn't help that my "friend" my "aunt" my "visitor" has been here for over three weeks.... TMI??? Maybe... but I've been using it to justify why I have been a raving lunatic for far too long.



The truth is, I've been struggling for a while. The pressure of trying to get our business off of the ground while still being a "decent" (by decent I mean just meeting socially acceptable standards) mother and wife has been overwhelming to say the least... I don't know how many times Gena and I have texted or called each other melting down,  ready to pull a "Thelma and Louise" because we feel so stretched and know that we're not doing ANYTHING well.

What you get when you add wine and bleach

A couple of weeks ago over a bottle of wine and some hair bleach we had a pretty big rant session sobering conversation. I told her that I had been praying for wisdom (about the company mind you... not about the state of my family... how's that for priorities) and instantly a thought came into my head.... "None of it matters anyway." I thought it was weird and couldn't possible mean anything so I did what any super spiritual person would do and I ignored it. About a week later I prayed for wisdom again... a girl with no business degree who dropped out of community college can never have too much wisdom:) Anyway, the exact same thought popped into my head..."None of it matters anyway" At this point I was honestly a little angry... I started spouting off to God while driving down the road... I'm sure it was great entertainment for the cars next to me. I was like "Are you serious?? None of the matters?? Then what have I been doing with my time for the past nine months?? Is it all a waste?? It MATTERS... OH YES IT DOES!" {Just a side note: this is just a portion of the crazy that lives in my head.}



Anyway, as Gena and I enjoyed our quiet, kidless conversation and the rest of the bottle of wine we decided what that phrase really meant was that we needed to get our sh... uh... stuff together. We needed to make sure our marriages and kids are our priority over blog posts and weakly sales. I know that seems like a no brainer, but when you're in the thick of it... it's easy to justify putting our family on the back burner for the good of our Earth Monkeys community.  But what punched us in the face that night was that NONE of it matters anyway... IF ... we aren't being the women... wife... mothers... God has created us to be.



It's has to be a daily choice for me. I'll be honest, most days I don't want to choose being a referee and butt wiper over a meaningful conversation with a fellow EMM. Even now, as I type, my house is a disaster, the laundry's not done and my husband has no clean pants to wear to work... but instead of choosing to be a crabby witch... sighing and letting everyone know that I have too much on my plate (like I normally do...), I will click publish, go start a load of laundry and have a mini Wii Sports tourney with my boys. Ya, house cleaning still doesn't make the list... that will take a true act of God.  



While I will never have it ALL together and I will never do it ALL well, I want to make sure I am at least trying to do the important things well.  Even though spring break is KILLING me... I will choose to remember today that I chose to be a wife and a mother before I chose to be a mompreneur... and if nothing else I want my family to know that I choose them now.



{Is there any area of your life that... DOESN'T MATTER ANYWAY... but has seemed to consume you on some level... Are you brave enough to be real about it?}

  



  











     My career as a hairdresser has changed from a pre-child 40+ hour a week crazy fest to a one day a week "vacation" from my really hard job as a stay at home mom.  Every once in a while, I get to do a special style for a client heading out for a big night, and for this, they end up at my home.  This particular client was in her mid 30's not married, and no children but would someday like it all.  Her hair took me about 30 min. and in that amount of time, she came to the conclusion that being at my home made her "hit the snooze button on her biological clock".  I think I know why...



     My 21/2 year old is proudly pottie trained, and I'm not ashamed to admit that nudity and bribery were my main tactics in accomplishing this.  I often wonder how every pottie moment has created a line at the pantry with everyone expecting a marshmallow and every poopie followed by the excitement of suckers for the whole house.  Really?  HE is the one doing all the work and somehow HIS reward has become an expectation for everyone???  I'm hoping that this will end by the time my kids are 15 and 18 because there is just something kind of weird about the thought of them both running in announcing what he just did in the bathroom at that age???  I don't know, just a thought.





     And what it is up with all the flippin whining???  Really, this one could be the one to totally send me over the edge!!!  All I want is one second in my day when I'm not hearing a voice so high it breaks glasses!  And the endless  begging for something they just cant have; really, this is a sanity killer!  Seriously, how many times will I have to say "I am not going to do anything when you are whining...use your big boy / girl voice"...you'd think they would get it after the 1000th time!  Sometimes I'd like to crawl into a corner, ( or better yet an sound proof closet) cover my ears and rock back and forth in the fetal position.  Will it ever end?



     Why, Why Why Why Why Why...your already sick of it hu?  I know that I am not the first mom to hear a 100 why's, even before breakfast...and I also I'm not the first one to have to admit to saying those stupid words we swore we would never say (before we had kids) "Because I said so!".  Yep I've started saying em!  I think I gasped when I heard them come out of my mouth the first time, but at some point, there simply are no more answers!  "Mom, why is that worm on the cement; because the rain pushed him there...why didn't he go back to the dirt; because it was a long ways away...why is he not moving; because he is dead...why is he dead; because the water is gone...why is the water gone; because it dried up...why did the water dry up; because it sunny...why is it sunny; because God thought we needed sun...why did God think we needed sun; BECAUSE I SAID SO!" why, why, why!  This was a real conversation my friends, and after 30 of these conversations...ya, you get why I have resorted to because I said so!!!





Speaking of whining...We have to beg you all one more time...we are up for a chance to win $25,000 with The Green Awards that would allow us to do amazing things with our Earth Monkey line!!!  But we need all of your votes!!!  You can vote daily (you only have to log in once) and if we could get you all to do us this favor, we will never ask for anything again!  (um ya right!)  Thanks for your support!!!!

Earth Monkeys.com

How about this...We will give a bib to one person that is, or becomes a google follower, votes for us at the Green Awards, then comments below and tell us you did it and give us a "snooze button" story.  I think you can all do that, we know your smart!!

Britny ... is a Mommy of 2, wife to 1 and lover of God. Her days are filled with homeschooling her monkeys, making a home on a budget and bringing joy to mankind in the form of sweet treats! She owns a small boutique bakery, Brit’s Bakes, which gives her a fun and creative outlet from Mommyland. A self-proclaimed “foodie” she enjoys reading food blogs, cook books and searching for the best local eats. She is also an occasional runner (which is necessary when there is so much good food in the world) and enjoys setting goals and running road races. When not covered in flour and drowning in laundry, multiplication tables and coupon clipping...you will find her sipping on a vanilla latte with her BFF, who also happens to be her husband of (almost) 11 years.





True Story. I love making people smile with food - it is a great joy to me. There is just something about having a table full of friends or strangers with plates full of goodness. It warms my heart, it is just the way God wired me. Fact is, I have come along way honey! In my early days of marriage most everything started in box or can form and of course there was always pizza delivery! My Mom was and is a great cook, I just never took the time to glean from her kitchen wisdom....my bad. At some point in my adult life, I had enough and began reading cook books, food blogs, and watching cooking shows..... something just clicked and I was bitten with the “foodie” bug! Although it took my VERY picky eater husband years to get on board, I tell you, he too has upgraded to “foodie” status! Fast forward and there are two little people in my life that need to be fed and quite honestly just want to eat what they like.(something they got from my former picky husband..at least that is what I like to tell myself ;)) I still love to experiment with new recipes and flavors, but these days, I keep things more simple and adjust according to tastes and such.(As all mommies know, we just want the kids to eat the food!!) I think the biggest obstacles to preparing fab culinary creations for us mommies, wives & occasional entertainers are....Number one EXHAUSTION....and number two, its partner in crime, TIME. Truth be told there is only room for one Martha in this world and our kids probably wouldn’t appreciate us slaving all day to serve a lamb ragu with a dessert of lemon souffle......what are those anyways?!? I am going to let you in on a little secret and hand you the keys to your kitchen in baby steps. Whether you would like to entertain some friends, impress your Mother-in-Law, or by golly you just need to earn that MOTY award back---I have a recipe for you! I want you to get over the ideal that you have to bake from scratch to be the queen of your kitchen. I am going to ask you to embrace the dough boy and use him for your gain---nobody has to know that you are fake-and-baking.....and.......I won’t tell!!



{Fake and Bake Brownie Trifle} (how very retro chic of you!)



What you need: 

• 1 box Family Size brownie mix (Chocolate Fudge by the Dough Boy=best flavor IMHO) according to box direction: 2 eggs, 1/4 oil, 1/2 cup of water 


• 1 pint of Whipping Cream 


• Powdered Sugar ( to taste up to 1/2 cup) 


• 14 ounce Caramel Candies - Unwrapped 


• 1- 5 ounce can Evaporated Milk 


• TV time for the kids (optional) 


• An Americano ( to drink while you work, also optional, but highly recommended) 


• Pre-heat oven According to Brownie package 


• Mix According to Package 


• Bake According to Package 

While the Brownies are cooling to room temperature: 

My mom bought me Stitch'n Bitch the Happy Hooker... and I L-O-V-E it! Before you get your panties in a bunch, it's a crocheting book not a career change. I figure with a name like that, I have no choice but to love it. It's taken me a week to learn how to crochet a single line... now I'm working on adding a second ... it could take weeks, but would you expect anything less from the Anti-Martha? I think the important thing is that I love it. It's challenging and mindless at the same time... and doesn't it entice me away from my family at all hours of the day and night. Although I'm pretty certain these gnarly, man hands won't be making any think dainty or fancy like a doily or a skirt... I'll probably just end up with a 100 feet of singled stitched yarn:)



My point is not to just replace one idle task with another... I don't want my family to feel snubbed by my kick arse crocheting ability anymore than I want them to resent my time on the computer. I do know I need something just for me though, and honestly I'm hoping this sassy little craft book will be like "the patch" for facebook. It might be wishful thinking, but until they come out with the real thing, I need to get through the urge to check my mail and facebook newsfeed 700 times an hour....  one step at a time. And if being a "happy hooker" can help with that... I'm game!

    Occasionally I get a chance to browse through other blogs.  I love the ones that either make me laugh,  pull on my heart strings, or even the ones that teach me something all Martha-ish (that I will never do of course!).  But the one feeling I almost always walk away with, is one of complete and utter inadequacy.

     It is hard for me to write in this blog.  I am not a writer, I am not overly wise, funny or experienced in all areas of life.  Most of the time, what I really want to write is something that will make you all cry with laughter, and of course we know that rarely happens.  So, I try to be real.  Today I have been struggling with writing this post.  Once again, I have fallen into the trap of wanting to make you all laugh.  I thought about sharing how my daughter and I rode our new scooter cars down the hill outside of our house and hit about 20!  We did it over and over, and had some great laughs!  I put together a few "life lessons" to share about taking time with your kids, laughing and enjoying life; I thought about some wise marriage advice since we are celebrating our 8 year anniversary tomorrow...(like I have any of that) but somehow, none of it feels right...



     When I was in high school, there were two separate times that a student was killed in a drunk driving accident.  These were obviously tragic times!!  If there was anything good that came out of these horrible incidents, it was that the rest of us students snapped into reality and realized that none of us were immune to this kind of tragedy.  I think for about a month, everything changed.  Ya, a month.  That is about the amount of time that it took for us to forget and start drinking and driving again...Shame!!  Funny thing is, that as adults, I'm not convicted that we are much different.  Soldiers die in wars, and we are moved; yet we still argue with our husbands that are alive and well.  New Orleans has a massive flood, people die, homes are lost; and still we complain about laundry and the traffic on the way to work.  Japan has an earthquake that has potentially killed tens of thousands; and yet we spent the day frustrated because our car broke down, the kids broke a vase, and we were late for church.

     I'm sure I lost a "friend" this last week when on my FB wall someone had said something like "I had a really bad day";  I had just gotten off the phone with my sister in law who's family currently lives in Japan; and I just couldn't handle that remark.  So call me a mean girl, but I commented "unless you are living in Japan, it probably was not THAT bad of a day".  My "overly-sensible" husband made a good point that something very bad could have happened to her, but I guess that was just a "straw moment" for me.  (that is what I call those moment where you just snap).  I'm just over us overly spoiled Americans sitting around complaining about our bosses, our kids, our sinks full of dishes, and everything else that is only complicated because we overfill our plates (literally a figuratively).  Can I just say just so you don't all think I'm a raging !$%&#...I know life can be challenging on a daily basis.  I am a work from home mom of  two, I have a part time job as well, and I do not have someone that shows up to cook my dinner or do my laundry...I know it's frustrating...and I do complain sometimes...(I think I just heard Linz say "thats for sure!!!")...but it's our attitudes I'm talking about here.

     I am hoping and praying that we will be able to watch this tragedy that is going on right now, even as you read this post, and remember it.  In a month, a year, a decade...and let it change us all.  If you are reading this, you are most likely sitting in a warm house or office, or even reading it on some  fancy schmancy phone...so really, really REALLY...what do we have to complain or gripe about!!!

     I have recently committed to changing my attitude...big time!!!  I am sticking to it...big time!!!  It is changing my home, my kids, and my marriage.  I have NOTHING to complain about.  Oh, I could believe me, my life is not perfectly smooth sailing.  And just turn on the news if you are not convinced that you could make a list a mile long of all of the great things in your life too!

     I am sorry to be on such a rampage.  No, actually I am not.  If you don't need to change your thinking, or your attitude in any way, I am sorry that I waisted your time.   But if you do, I am asking you to put on your big girl panties and be brave...Please comment below and share an area that you have been wasting time on being negative about, then tell us how you are going to change it.   If you "follow" us, and comment, one brave person will win an Earth Monkey bib!!

     And please, take a moment to lift up the people of Japan, Haiti (we seam to have forgotten about them already) and our brave soldiers who risk their lives daily for us.  Thanks for letting me be honest with you....



...And one quick side note.  We all need a friend that gets us; that gets that we love our lives (for the most part) but that we can be honest with.  It is ok to share frustrations, hurts, and just a bit of complaining with.  Oh and when you see us do it here or on our FB page try not to judge; because we are real...OK, now I'm done, for real. .

  



  

Jami... is a mom to teenaged quadruplets and wife to her best friend, her knight in dented armor. Her "almost 15" year old crew consists of one girly tomboy and 3 strapping young men, one who was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome in 7th grade. With kids now in high school [the same school she and her hubby shared a locker in!], keeping up with everyone keeps her busy as a stay at home mom. Being "on call" for the lanky, bright, and fiesty son has kept her from rejoining the paid work force as of yet. Her passion for God/teens/sports is a perfect combination for her position as a Fellowship of Christian Athletes weekly Huddle Leader. 





I've been thinking about Dick Hoyt again lately. He and his son, as Team Hoyt, are among my favorite heroes on this earth. I had the great blessing of hearing Mr. Hoyt speak in Denver a couple of years ago. This is a man, who at the age of 37, began his journey as an athlete, along with Rick. Rick has experienced countless miles at the hands (and legs) of his father...all because after completing their first race together, he told his father “Dad, when I’m running, it feels like I’m not handicapped.” That was the start of something that is gut wrenchingly beautiful to me. To give his son that feeling over and over, Dick began to train with the fervor of an Olympic athlete, to prepare to enter more races, including multiple Ironman Triathlons (2.4-mile swim, a 112-mile bike, and a 26.2-mile run). Just counting their number of triathlons alone: 238! I am awed by this and by what they have done together with the lives they have been given...no whining, no excuses, and no quitting. The video footage of Dick swimming through ocean waves, pulling Rick behind him, just reaches into my soul and grips me like a vice. Is there anything more powerful and life changing than this kind of love?!

I am relatively new to the whole "green" scene. I have recycled for years, but honestly that's only because the garbage company brings big recycle bins right to my door and it saves on our trash bill. It hasn't been until we started developing our eco-friendly line at Earth Monkeys that I started to be aware of just how UN-GREEN I really am. I had three in diapers for years... so cloth diapers were out... don't you roll your eyes and judge me, I know I'm not alone in this! And the whole "greeny", "eco-friendly","recycley" lifestyle always seemed too expensive and too difficult. If I'm being really honest (brace your selves, I can't find my filter this morning) even now, when I visit environmentally friendly websites or blogs, many feel stuffy and judgmental and can almost carry an air of superiority.  Sometimes I feel like the new kid in church... like the guy up front is going to call me out because I'm not good enough to be in this crowd. (Consequently that is exactly how I felt when I became a pastors wife... and it's not a good feeling.) Anywhoo, I tend to be a bit of a rebel... I don't like to conform and snobby superiority makes me want to do just the opposite no matter what the cause is... immature?? Probably, but it's kind of what has kept me from making changes in my lifestyle until now... right wrong or otherwise.



Gena and I are both still a work in progress when it comes to being green and running an eco-friendly household.  I am passionate that taking baby steps is the key to making lasting, effective change, so that's what I'm doing. My life is chaos 98% of the time... my three boys  are exhaustingly high maintenance high energy,  and trying to run a successful business, blogging, cleaning, laundry, cooking... like all of you my list goes on... I don't want to add one more thing to my plate. If faced with the decision between eco-friendly and convenience my choice will vary on any given day... that's just how it is. What I have realized though, is that there are so many things that I can do that aren't hard and even save me money. The more I do them the easier it gets and the less I have to think about making the right choice.



So.... here are 8 THINGS YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW TO "Greenify" your family and probably even save you money in the process...

1. Stop using paper towels/plates... Gena shamed me into "encouraged" me to just buy a costco pack of those white towels and use them instead ... and I decided to just start washing dishes instead of using paper plates for breakfast and lunch... I made the swtich about 9 months ago and it's not that bad:)


2. Turn your lights off and unplugged the stuff you're not using... my mom will laugh that I wrote this because I am still really working on this one... it's extra hard when you're the only person in the house who doesn't think every single light needs to be on 24/7.


3. Replace your light bulbs with energy efficient ones... they're a little more spendy upfront but save on the electric bill big time!


4. Check out A Simple Switch by Philips on Facebook... they have great tips and challenges on making small changes.


5. Stop Using Plastic Bags... Either bring your own or  use paper bags ( I shred the paper bags and use them as filling for Earth Monkeys gift bags... so don't give me that finger wave:) Gena's the pro at this... I've got the grocery store down but I always forget my bags at like Target or other stores... I then have to do the "walk of shame" hoping Gena's not lurking around the corner waiting to bust me:) hehe


6. Put on some socks... My house is old and drafty... we're talking all original 1958... I can feel breeze through my windows... it's bad. And while I should replace them with new energy efficient ones, I don't have $20K to fork out right now. Sooo instead of cranking up the heat to 85 to make-up for the cold, we just bundle up 1) Because a $500 power bill isn't fun to pay and 2) Because it's an easy energy saver!


7. Join the Reuse Revolution on our Earth Monkeys website!  Make the pledge not to buy disposable bibs and changing pads... you don't have to use our stuff... but choosing to use washable reusable products does make a difference. CLICK HERE to join!


8. Find a favorite Green Moms Blog to follow... My personal favorite is Secret Mommy... she's a real mom with crazy monkeys who does her best to live a green lifestyle. I have never felt judged or less than by anything she's written... only encouraged and inspired!! 

 I wish I could end with the title... (hey don't agree with me here!!!)  but I must explain...



My daughter loves to draw.  She loves to paint, to trace, to color and anything that can be turned into artwork will be.  She is 5.  We all know that a five year old has limits in this area and that her artwork would probably not be admired by strangers, but it is admired by me.  When she makes a drawing, I have two choices...

One, I could say "oh honey, that's a good try, but that looks nothing like a dinosaur, and the colors are really not quite correct, and why would you put hearts in the sky??  There are not hearts in the sky ever.

Or option 2 would go something more like this...Oh honey, that is beautiful!  That looks like the happiest dinosaur in the world, and he is so lucky to be pink and purple!!  And he is so full of love, that he puts hearts in the sky!!!  I LOVE IT!!!!

Now, the first would be a better description of what is really going on, but what would that do to her desire to create if I said those words???



Let me give you another example...

My two year old boy LOVES to sing and "play the guitar".  He does a great job, but it goes without saying that he is not always in tune, and his guitar playing resembles that of a donkey stuck in a barbed wire fence. (not that I have heard that personally, but I can't imagine it would sound very good..) Once again, I have two options...

I could say, Baby, you don't sound quite like the people singing the song,  they said "mama called the doctor and the doctor said...NOT mama doll the dada nadad dad daid....and when you play the guitar, it hurts my ears.

OR I could say, Baby, mama looooooves it when you sing (and break into a crazy dance) it blesses my heart!  You sound like an angel!  And your guitar sounds just like daddies!  Good job pumpkin!!!

Once again, the first would be more true...



But what would it do to my kids spirits if I pointed out every fault, or everything they could do better???  It would deflate them.  They would give up!  My sweet girl would stop drawing, and my baby boy would stop singing!!! (oh that breaks my heart!)

We have soooo much control of how inspired or broken our kids become!!!!



Here is another way to put it...

If I talk over and over about how "shy" my child is, she will be shy!

If I tell my boy all day long what a "bad boy" he is, he will be bad!

And seriously, If I ever hear any parent call their child "stupid" I will go ape all over them!!!

Oh and just a side note...you that are married, If you tell your husband what a lazy, selfish, unloving  jerk he is, guess what he will be???(just saying!!!)

If we say you're NOT good at math, or soccer, or driving, or talking....guess what they will NOT be good at???



In contrast to that..

If I tell my daughter that she is the best big sissy in the world, she hugs her brother when he cries, helps him when he falls down, and "teaches" him how to read! (this often happens in my house!)

When my son hears over and over that it is important to be gentle to girls and be respectful to them...imagine the type of man he will be.

If we say your an amazing singer, a beautiful dancer, such a great communicator, and I love how you are respectful to everyone you are around...they will rise to the standards that we set for them! 



I think it goes without saying that we want our kids to be successful adults (and I'm not talking money here) so treat them like successful children.  Does criticism or brutal honesty motivate any of us?  I think not.  I want to use my words and attitude to build up my children!!!



So here is a little challenge for all of us today.  Lets be mindful of every word that we say to our kids today...I am committed to only use my words to encourage, lift them up and bring joy!



Glad you're here today, and hoping you will "share" us with your friends!!!

     I always walk through stores like Pier1 or even Target and all the cute pillows are like 20-30 dollars!!!  Who can afford that when you know they are gonna get ruined by the kids or the dog or my husband, plus you need at least 2 and $40 is an investment!!. Recently I have converted my house into a Shabby chic kindof style. The best part of this is, it can be shabby!!!  As in not perfect, a little lopsided, mix and matched!!!

     Which means I can sew and my lines don't have to be totally straight and it wont matter!!! How great is that.  I'm a fast sewer (because I have no time or patience to take my time), I don't have time to cut straight lines or use those annoying pins.. I just wing it! I'm not kidding!! If you look really close at the lines on the pillow they are not straight. and it doesnt matter. yay! But recently after walking through Pier1 I found these napkins for $2.97 each and a bag of Polly-fill for $3.00 so for a total of about $7.00 I made this fabulous shabby white pillow.  So for that price if it only lasts a few months, I'm fine with that!!            

                                                       And here is how you can do it!

Step 2: Lay out the napkins good side out on both sides. 

I wanted the cute trim on the outside to show, 

so I sewed them on the good sides out 

instead of the conventional inside out

Step 3: Sew the entire 3 edges of the napkin fabric, 

leaving about an inch for the trim to not be sewn

*Leave about 6 inches unsewn so you can stuff your pillow

We are so jazzed that Mindy is giving away this adorable pillow that she showed us how to make!  Simply "like" her Pretty in Paint FB page and of course Earth Monkeys too then come back and "comment" below...a winner will be chosen at random!  Oh Oh Pick me!!!!



And one last thing...please take a quick second and click the "about 2011" link to the right and vote for Earth Monkeys...it's easy and we need every vote!  Thanks friends!!!!

{Here's my "Oldie but Goodie" pick... it's the very first post I wrote for EMM and it's still painfully true today! Hope you likey:)}

I only paint the toes that show on any given day. From a distance it looks like I have a decent pedi going … and I do mean a distance. But if you look up close you would see about 17 layers of gunky, chipped “You don’t know Jacques” OPI nail polish on my toes. My big toe on my left foot is still swollen and throbbing from an unfortunate forking (which is why forks don’t belong on the floor FYI) and the calluses on my heals…well it’s just not proper to talk about them in mixed company.



Anyway, why am I going on about my disgusting man feet??? Because I think they kind of represent who I am in life…(stay with me now girls.) So much of what I do and how I portray myself is so others will think that I have it together…not ALL together because that would be annoying…but just together. What I want you to see is that I have three crazy boys … two with special needs… and although we have been faced with many challenges… I am strong and I am easy going and I know what I’m doing. That’s what I want you to see, and that’s probably what it looks like from a distance. But when you get even remotely close enough you will see that many days I am just broken…that I use humor to put myself down to guard against your judgement… and that I have no clue what I’m doing most of the time or how to be a good mom to such complex boys.



I’m sick of pretending to be someone I’m not. Guess what I’m a horrible house keeper…not just because my kids destroy everything…but because I hate to clean. If you come to my house without any notice, my house WILL NOT be clean…EVER. I will never be a gentle soft spoken mom who plays games and does crafts all day with my kids…that’s just not me. But what I am trying to come to grips with is that who God made me … is enough. I am enough… and you are too.



So today, before we post on facebook that we just ran 5 miles, cleaned our houses and listened to our 3-year-old recite the encyclopedia…tI think we need to ask ourselves if we're being real or someone we've created in our heads. Because until we are ready to be real and sometimes even vulnerable…we can never be in true community with other moms. How can we be there for each other if we don’t really know each other?





Want to Win an Earth Monkeys Eco-Friendly Bib? Post a comment under this link on the Earth Monkeys Facebook Page about an area in your life where you have trouble being real or want people to think you have it more together than you actually do... the first step is admitting it... I just bared all... you can too:)