My own kids must have had one of those sibling pow-wows (behind my back) and came to some kind of unanimous conclusion that they would never say one of my own (unoriginal) one liners: "Because I said so!". I used to have a picture hanging in my kitchen of a mother hen with a lot of babies under her wings and the caption read: "I'm the mommy that's why." They didn't give me grief over that one but evidently they really disliked 'because I said so.' Who knew?? I'm fairly sure when your little ones grow up they too will throw some of your mommy-isms back at you. I, for one, am hoping they do. :o)

Do you really remember the first days of having your first little monkey??? Mine are honestly a blur. I do remember cussing out my cousin in the middle of the night some time in the beginning because she told me that getting up during the night wasn't hard at all and she could barely wait to see her little one ready to eat. It was all I could do to pry my very damaged... never to be the same again... hoo-hoo out of bed only to have to fumble with a nipple shield so I could make a mess and ruin perfectly good PJ's and then end up a crying puddle with a hungry, crying baby and a husband who was probably thinking about making a run for it.  :):)



It's hard enough having to deal with hormones and emotions and a precious little monkey that you suddenly realize you have the power to totally screw up... wait, I'm hyperventilating just reliving it... OK I'm better now... What's worse though is the things people say to new moms... Here is my list of things you should NEVER say to a new mom... BECAUSE, even us veteran mom's forget and say very very stupid things!!

1. "Oh, when are you due??" The teller at the bank forever scarred me when I walked up BABY IN ARMS as he asked when I was due... I was like When am I do you little punk???  I just spent 13 hours pushing this watermelon headed kid out!!! 


2. "Wow You Look Tired!" Do I even need to explain... never say this to anyone... EVER... it's code for you look like sh crap and everyone knows it!


3. "Don't worry breast feeding will take off your extra weight."Well maybe it did for you, but I quite literally ate everything but the kitchen sink and it didn't work for me... don't give tired, strung out mamas false hope:)


4. "Don't worry his cone head will go away..." Hey maybe I like his little pointy head... I just pushed a human out of me... A HUMAN CAME OUT OF MY INSIDES!!! His misshapen head is my badge of victory!:)


5. Look at him/her and say"Is it a Boy or a Girl...?" Seriously just don't... no matter what... don't... it could push a hormonal new mama right over the edge:) 

OK these are the things that scarred me as a new mom and I have vowed never to repeat... what crazy things did people say to you???



As always if you're looking for the perfect shower gift or just really great green baby gear for your own little monkey... check out our Earth Monkeys site... all of our stuff is made from recycled plastic bottles and folds up small enough to hook to your keys... PLUS it's SUPER affordable!!

I dont necessarily like to hear myself talk...although those closest to me may have just spit their coffee out their noses from laughter at that statement.  But it's true...I have figured a few things out in my 39 years, but I have a long ways to go!  I am amazed at the lessons that my kids teach me every day, IF I pay attention!  I got to thinking the other day about all of the crazy cool things I have learned from them. I really think that because of their simple lives (aka: I do everything for them!) that they actually have an amazing set of priorities...mainly play, laugh, eat, relax and of course do what we can to drive mommy crazy!  So back to the "hearing myself talk part"...Today, I filled my post with things YOU have learned from your children and added a few of mine at the end.  But today, if you are gonna read this, you have to add your lessons from your children under the comments below (although no one will hunt you down if you dont!)

     Call them what you want, vintage, antique, flea market, second hand, grandma’s house…. They’re all full of treasures! Some of you may scrunch your noses up at the thought of using or wearing someone else’s goods, but that’s okay because it leaves more amazing pieces for the rest of us!





There is something exciting and glamorous about wearing a piece from “yesteryear”!!! If it’s not the idea of owning a piece of history that gets you, then maybe it’s the fact that you’ve found a piece no one else has… what’s better than owning a one of a kind!





So the next time you pass an antique shop, a yard sale, or charity shop, I dare you to stop in… once you find your first score it’s an addiction from there!

Here are a few styling and purchasing 

*Wearing Vintage: The best way to wear your new treasure is to mix it in subtly with your modern day look. Example: A vintage cuff pairs perfect with your trendy stackable bracelets or try a vintage clutch in place of your over the shoulder bag!





*Embrace the Hunt: Thrift stores consistently carry of-the-moment trendy pieces, but be ready to shop around. Be patient, it’ll be worth it once you find what you’re looking for!





*The Price is Right: Check over the item you’re looking to purchase… if it’s tattered and needs a little pick-me-up you may be able to work with the shop owner over the price. If the piece is in good condition or a known brand name, chances are you have a true vintage piece on your hands. The price tag may be high, but chances are it’s a third of the price of something in a department store.





*Be Creative: Upgrade a 1940’s coat into the latest trend by changing out the buttons, turn a small brooch into a hair pin or pendant, re-finish outdated furniture, or use old saucers as cute jewelry organizers. The possibilities are endless!





*Off the Beaten Path: Because vintage has become so popular, some of the well known or large city shops can get picked over quickly. Some of my best finds have come from hole in the wall locations! The next time you’re out of town visiting family check out their local antique shop!





Last but not least, *LOVE the piece you’re buying! Make sure it’s something you’ll wear and not just tucked away for “someday”. Be realistic about repairs and please, WASH your new purchase. ;)









Check out my Bohemian Jones Facebook page for my latest one of a kind, limited edition, and vintage jewelry and accessories!  (and of course for all of the inspiration us mama's need to spruce up those not so stylish moments!)



What kind of treasures have you found in unexpected places???  Let us know in the comments below!

And please remember to share us with your friends!  We appreciate you!

{Photo By: Maria Alexandra Photography}

What do you do when you realize the REAL you sucks??? We laugh and talk and cry a little here and there about being punched in the gut or slapped across the face with perspective... But have you ever been blind sided by a dump truck that ran you down and then backed up over you?? So much so that when the damage is done you look at who you are and what you've done and can't do anything but cry and be broken.... and eat.. seriously I need a T-shirt that says, "Help I'm eating and I can't stop!" The past 4 days I've eaten enough to feed a small country because I'm an emotional eater... those 4 pounds I lost when my throat hurt so bad I couldn't eat... well, they've found their way back and are now riding comfortably on my jiggly backside!!



I am a verbal vomiter... I am... I think it's genetic because my mom suffers from the same disease. I say the wrong thing at the wrong time, I think I'm being funny ...when I'm not and I think people always need to hear my passionate opinions... when they don't. And let me tell you, it's a hard road to recovery when you're a verbal vomiter. It's a road filled with apologies and broken pleas for forgiveness. Up until now I've never really seen the intense repercussions of being a "V.V."... up until now I've either had friends just tell me I'm full of crap or roll their eyes when they think I'm not looking and chalk it up to me being me.



I keep replaying recent events in my mind and wondering what it is that makes me act so foul sometimes... and what it is that keeps me from forgiving and being able to move on when I feel judged and hurt.



The hard part about being a "V.V." is when you're wrong... and then you put yourself out there to admit your immaturity and horribleness... when you plead with a broken heart after learning how much you offended a friend... and then you're rejected and further humiliated. The problem is you were the one who was wrong first so you don't get to whine and cry and say how hurt you are by the humiliation you feel... you just have to suck it up... you have to realize this is a consequence for your immature, thoughtless words... heart broken and emotionally empty, you have to chalk it up to the fact that the "real" you just sucks sometimes...



I stand up and preach that we all need to be "real"... that God loves us for who we are right now, ugliness and all... and that we should love, accept and have grace for one another too, and it's true... but what do you do when you realize there are large parts of the "real" you that just suck. That part of me... the part of me that really sucks... wants to say screw it all... I don't need this drama in my life, I have enough on my plate... I want to be who I am and not have to tip toe around people. BUT the big girl in me, the me that loves God with all that I am and knows what He says about grace and forgiveness for others and ourselves... says I have to do the right thing. I have to love and grow and repair damaged relationships. It's so difficult it hurts my core, I hate  the feeling of being humbled, judged, reprimanded,  and insulted... and I hate it even more when it's justified. But honestly, I'm stubborn and passionate and extremely hard headed so unfortunately things like this are almost the only way for me to see how desperately I need to grow.



For me, now all I can do is start chipping away at this ugly side of myself... Consciously try to verbally vomit on people less. To bite my tongue until it bleeds if I need to... to go back to the kitchen where it all started... humbled, humiliated, embarrassed and broken and start growing the parts of me that don't suck as much. In doing this I'll just have to hope and trust that grace and love can rule over everything... that forgiveness and peace can trump hurt feelings and stupid words.... that I can give my friends the benefit of the doubt and not act on what I think they're thinking... and that they will do the same for me. How many times will I have to pull these big girl panties up before I stop and think BEFORE I speak???



If you're brave enough share with us a time that you've had to be a big girl and pull up those panties and do the right thing... when you really didn't want to??

And one more thing..we love to hear your stories and comments below...and could you share us with your friends?? We love ya for it!!

    Earth Monkeys is excited to have Valerie with us today because we need all the help in the crafty department as we can get!  Val is mom, wife, business owner and sewer extraordinaire (if there is actually such a thing) and with all this talent, comes gobs of beautiful things you just have to see to believe!  Check out Vali D. Designs on FB or visit her adorable store inside the Candy Shoppe in Jacksonville.





    I have made a couple of these and they are so comfy!! I wear them to the gym, bed, out everywhere. I think I have a pretty average head size, so this should work for most adults. If you need to adjust add length to your fabric. This uses basic sewing skills, if you need help in that department, email me or use the internet for help; there are a lot of good websites out there for learning basic sewing skills.

OK Today I have to admit that I'm fried.... I have tried to write a serious post and then a funny post and ended up deciding to delight you with one of my favorite oldie but goodies... I'm a mess, my man's a mess, my house is a mess and my children are only not a mess because I finally gave them a bath today and they are now sleeping... but they will be a mess 5 nano seconds after they wake up cause that's how we role here:) Happy Wednesday!



{Oldie But Goodie}

No one can know the down and dirty of being a parent…until you become a parent… sometimes throughout the day I stop and think to myself…”did those words really just come out of your mouth?” They are words that form sentences I never imagined anyone saying…



Forks Aren’t For Stabbing…Maybe it’s just my kids…but they can turn anything into a weapon and often try to shank each other…



We Don’t Touch Poop… I still remember the day Sawyer came down the stairs proudly yelling ewwe poooop… he had pooped on a toy cell phone and brought it down proud to show us his accomplishment… that was the day the poop war was waged in the McPhail household and we battle on even today…



Don’t Drink the Bath Water… your butt is in that water….Stop drinking it!!! What is the draw?? Seriously, I can’t imagin what is so thirst quenching about merky soapy butt water?? But still they drink…



Hands Off Your Peeper… (I know peeper sounds I little creepy but I just can’t say penis or wiener…) If you have boys, you have to be familiar with this one. day or night rain or shine, they have to make sure their friend is still attached… apparently it will be that way until the end of time…



Is That My Toothbrush In The Toilet??? Oh the glamorous life of a mother…



What Crazy things have you caught yourself saying as a mom that you never thought would come out of your mouth?!?!? We want to know:)!!

     Vacations are a glorious thing!  We save for months, plan for what feels like ages, and go on them, with high hopes, big dreams and chaos in tow!  Reality sets in usually within 23 min of a car ride in our world of "vacationing"....



     I'm sorry but I have to quickly detour and go back a few years "pre-child" to get the full pict.  I have so many great memories of places like, Florida, England, Israel, Mexico, ski trips, backpacking trips, Hawaii, and disneyland a 100 times over...Ya, now those are vacations....Now lets fast forward to recent history....vacations in the past few years more resemble a family of ten moving across country, ya know, by the time you pack strollers, porta cribs, back packs, costco size diaper boxes and 8 changes of closes per person per day!  And the term vacation, well lets just say I'm sad to report that staying on a cold, windy beach where the drive is within 3 hours because we can't make it any further, that is now vacation!

   I alway try to look at the positive though, so today I have come up with a list of why "vacations with babies and toddlers really are a great thing".  Please make sure to add to the list that I have started, we would love to know how much you love traveling with littles ones too!



My kids learn new vocabulary words...like "moron, and idiot" (in reference to people who drive white Cadillacs and swerve around cars lined up 13 deep on narrow forest roads!)  Ya, some guy just did that...I thought it was so cool that he was willing to risk all of our lives so that he could get there 3 min faster!  Moron!  Oops...said it again!

Gourmet food for every meal! Oh how I love Red Robin and Applebees for days on end!  Lets get real here, people don't like kids in any other restaurant and to try to enjoy a decent meal, means being in a decent restaurant, and we all know how fun that is with little ones!



Swimming, swimming and more swimming.  Now this in itself is actually a pretty fun event, but honestly paying $163 a night at a hotel so they can swim for countless hours and never want to leave to go do anything else, well that is crazy!  (Unless your a kid who thinks everything is free!)



Countless hours of rest and relaxation!  And by this I mean having to sit in a dark hotel room for two hours mid day trying to force naps, and turning lights out by 8:30 PM because the kids go to bed then.  It's so fun sitting in the dark staring out the window at the other adults out for an evening on the town, while you sit in silence so your kids don't wake up!



Coffee!  Ok so this is a great thing for real...hotel lobbies that have coffee on 24/7, now that is my kind of vacation!



Movies, movies and more movies.  I have to preface this one by saying that when I was young, we didn't  have to wear seat-belts and so mom and dad would throw us kids in the back of the wood paneled station wagon and cruse the 12 hours to Southern Cali with no problem.  Now, my children have to be strapped in car seats like nascar drivers and since they don't have the option of building tents while we drive, they get to watch more T.V. !   Here's the thing, cartoons can get on my nerves, but when I can only hear them? oh this is enough to drive me freakin crazy!  Especially the time they watched a cartoon with Roseanne Barr as the main "cow" character...I think I might have thrown that one out the window!



Money....lets face it, when it comes to vacationing, there is no way to put a "positive spin" on this one!  Does anyone else think that it is totally ludicrous (thank goodness for spell check!) that you have to practically refinance your home to take a family of 4 to a theme park, museum, water park, or zoo?  Seriously, do the people who run these places sit down and think "how can we get people to have to steal from their kids college fund in order to get them here??"  And all of that money just to have to leave within 2 hours because jr. peed his pants, sissy is cold, daddy is grumpy from lack of food and mommy was in charge of packing everything for everyone for the entire week with no freaking help from anyone because she is always in charge of everything no matter if she is at home or half way across the %&^*#@* country!!!!  (insert throat clearing and shirt adjustment here)



ok, so enough about my vacations...

Lets hear about yours!!!  

We will even give a set of 

"travel essential" 

Earth Monkey gear to a random commenter with a great addition to this post! 

Bring it home sisters!  (literally!)

{Even Drying Towels Can Be Cute With A Simple DIY}

I found this hook plaque in an antique store and paid way to much for it, but i wanted to copy it and make some of my own!! (is that bad?) I knew these would be perfect to hang out on the back patio to dry my kids towels! I hate when I find them in wet wadded up balls on the floor after they have been running in the sprinkler!! So this is a cute way to let them air dry outside!



{Materials}

1 piece of pine from lowes or a discount store like your local builders bargain center about 3 ft long or

...psst... she has three boys too... so she's familiar with the funk!

"...you have to..."

Sometimes I resent the things I "have" to do in a day... and for no real reason at all I get myself into a mommy funk. So when my three year old says for the 7000th time "Mom, You have to..." instead of correcting him and modeling the words he should say... I get right down on his level and say... "I don't HAVE to do anything." (Insert head bob and finger wave here) ... at which point he ignores my attitude and repeats himself... and I just end up doing what he's asking me to do anyway ... but with a grudge. It's funny how fast I forget how blessed I am to HAVE to do so many mundane and sometimes down right disgusting things... hey I live with four boys remember:):)



It was two years ago this past Sunday that my husband CJ and I moved our family back to Southern Oregon. We left our house still on the market just outside of Portland and lost every dime of our savings we had invested in that place. It was the lowest point in our lives together... a newborn baby and two special boys who had just been diagnosed with PDD-NOS (a form of autism). We were broke, broken and honestly at times I felt hopeless... A lot of you already know this story... already know my heart ache of mourning the sons I thought we were going to have and learning to love and celebrate the amazing boys God made them to be... many of you already know that we lost everything and lived with my parents for nine months relying on food stamps and family to help us through one of the darkest chapters of our lives. It was humiliating and earth shattering and beautiful all at once.



It's amazing how things can change in two years. I wish I could say we weren't still reeling from the aftermath of that disaster. What I can say is that if I had the chance to wipe it all out.. to get to skip that portion of our lives... I WOULDN'T THINK OF IT.



While I don't wish dark times on ANYONE... ever... I have to say it's what grows us... it's what gives us perspective and grace for people and situations we may have stood in judgement of before. Without pain I don't think we can fully experience compassion... without struggle and suffering we really have no reason to grow.

...my love...

My husband and I have decided that we want to do something every 3rd of July to remember where we were and to marvel at how far God has brought us. How the rough stuff bound us together... if even just barely by a thread at times... we got through it with a deeper connection and love than we ever knew possible. And that my friends is worth celebrating!



I love remembering the fact that it was only two short years ago that I was praying for this very home... even knowing about the black mold, old windows, draftiness and bug "situation"... I dreamed of how our family would grow and thrive in this place... and we have. It's remembering July 3rd, 2009 that brings me out of my "mommy funks" and reminds me to celebrate all the the things I GET to do for my friends and family and amazing boys who are doing better than ever.



Perspective is everything... it's so easy to lose... and sometimes so painful to gain. What do you GET to do today?