Wednesday, September 14, 2011
I like to eat... Especially my words...
After 11 years of marriage (this month) you would think I would stop making stupid statements with the word "never" in them. Just recently I was telling anyone who would listen that I wasn't planning on training for a 1/2 marathon I signed up for... and ignorantly added it's all mental anyone can run... Hmmhhmmm, (sorry just choking a little on that last sentence) So last night Gena and I set out to run a cool 6 miles (cold turkey mind you) because you know, it's all mental. By mile 3 I had to stop for fear of puking up all of my insides... we walked the rest of the way, and today I can barely move...
Throughout the years of marital bliss and monkey raising I have choked on eaten a few more of my words. And it's not like I just voice innocent opinions and then come to see the light. I am a passionate opinionated person... When I take a stance on something I want everyone to know... seriously I don't think I'll learn from my mistakes even after this post... it's who I am... it's kinda my thing.
So for your enjoyment, today I am listing my top 10 most annoying had to eat my words statement ever...
- I am never having kids... I maintained this one for 5 years after we got married, but when the baby bug bit, there was nothing I could do. Still to this day I run into people who say, "Remember how you said you were never going to have kids."
- My Kids will only play with wooden toys... you know because the plastic ones are so ugly... today you would be hard pressed to find a toy or anything "kid" in my house that isn't plastic florescent or colored on with sharpie marker.
- My kids won't watch TV until they're 3 and then only educational programming... ahahahahahahahahahaha... had I known that TV is the only way to calm my crack monkeys down I think I would have just skipped that one.
- I will never make more than one meal, my kids won't be picky... If there are pickier kids on the planet I haven't met them. My oldest pukes at the site of green peas and I make 6+ meals a day mon-fri to suit everyone's tastes.
- My kids won't wear anything with cartoons on them.... I still don't like this but my monkeys are freaks for thomas and cars 2 and want to wear anything and everything that dawns those characters... but what's a mom to do?
- Marriage and kids won't make me frumpy... bwahahahahha... anyone who read my post a couple of weeks ago should be spitting their coffee through their nose right now... ya... moving on....
- When I'm a stay at home mom my house will never be messy... I seriously used to say this... I know... I'm an idiot, it's actually probably messier since we're all home all day everyday... who knew???
I know I could add probably a hundred more statements... and if you talk to my family and close friends they could give you thousands more... but I thought hey... I want to hear some words you've eaten darn it!! Spill it girls... post your in the comments below... I can't be the only one who could metal in the olympic sport of putting my foot in my mouth!!
New To The EMM Blog?
Just in case you're new around here I thought I'd introduce myself.... I'm the scattered crazy Earth Monkey Mom Lindsay:) And this is my family. My kids never have clean faces, my house is usually a mess and I always have 3-15 loads of unfolded laundry sitting on my couch. I post here on Wednesdays ... Gena the "with it" organized but still whacky EMM posts on Mondays... and then each Friday we have a different guest contributor... always a mom... sometimes funny sometimes inspiring and always real. We're glad you're here and we hope you'll stick around... More than anything we want you to know that none of us have it all together... and wether your kids are 40 or 4 you're not alone in your journey through motherhood!
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7 comments:
Bahaha such a funny post!!!! I'm so glad I got to be a part of working on your magnificent house yesterday. Your family is loved by many : )
Lindsay...you are such a funny writer!! I love reading your Earth Monkey Blog!! I heard about you and your family through Emilie Sampson. You have a beautiful family and I am so happy and excited for you guys to get this wonderful home!! WELCOME HOME MCPHAIL FAMILY...WELCOME HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh and by the way I have put my foot in my mouth a few times myself!! The biggest thing I have said was "My kids will never eat fast food crap or junk food"...well, now they get fast food at least once a week and every Saturday night for movie night they get candy from their treat bags. Sometimes they even get candy after dinner if they eat all their food. I guess that might be why they get hyper right around bedtime, LOL!!!
I don't know you Lindsay but just from reading some of your posts you sound like an amazing woman and I feel so blessed that I have gotten the opportunity to get a glimpse into the craziness of your life and you have no idea how good it feels to know that I am not the only mom who sometimes feels like our home is run by monkeys ie. 3 small children. It was truly a pleasure getting to help with your home.
Hmmm, you may not want to hear this, but my daughters are 24 and 26, live in different cities, and my house is still a cluttered MESS! What on earth is my excuse?!?! BTW, my daughter was in the youth group you and CJ taught ten or so years ago, and when I told her you had won the house, she said, "Hmmm, Lindsay said she would never have kids!"
ummmmm? I think that I just realized yesterday you guys were my sons youth group leader at tablerock years ago? Oh my! He is 26 yrs old and he and his buddy were part of the little youth band when the church was new! Damion Vido? His buddy Jon Bowers? Wow! small world! Oh and yesterday I was mentioning to my daughter in law about your business and she pulled out her "Earth Monkey" bib key chain! Cool very cool! and......BTW I was honored to have worked on your home, pulled 2 overnight shifts!(only times I wasnt booked at salon or in charge of runnin my household!)
It's hard for me to eat words when my foot is always in my mouth. However, I have snacked on a statement or two over the years. The big one was when I said my daughter will NEVER be seen in public w/ messy hair. I mean, surely it's not that hard to run a quick brush through a little girl's hair before going somewhere, right? Ha! SO WRONG! First off, she has the same kinda hair as me, meaning it always looks unkempt even after 45 minutes of dedicated coiffing. Secondly, if I come within 5 feet of her head w/ any kind of combing implement, she acts like I'm about to commit the most heinous abuse any child has ever endured. Not to mention, no one ever told me that kids literally NEVER slow down...EVER! (Okay, maybe they told me, but they also told me I'd get payback when I had kids of my own & if I had listened to them, I would have had my tubes tied for my sweet 16.)
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