I've always prided myself as being a person who is basically worry free, or at the very least worry limited.  Seriously, it takes a lot to freak me out, or make me over analyze or over think things, and  I rarely sit around and burry myself in garbage from the past.  I'm kinda one to save those kind of crazy, un-useful emotions for the really big events...like divorce, death, illness, or not having the right color shoes for a blue taffeta and black lace dress (sorry, just had a Sr. prom flashback moment)...

     Now that you know that much needed information about me (ya right) onto my point...There are many elements about being a parent that are impossible to be prepared for, and no matter how much your older sister tries to warn you help you understand, there is no way to fully get the amount of fatigue, frustration, crazy deep love, guilt and of course worry that will engulf you as a parent.  From the moment my daughter slipped into this world (although I'm sure the word "slip" would not be the one used by her birthmother) my world has never been the same.  From the moment I saw her beautiful head of thick brown hair and the sweet way her smooshy body formed to mine, I started to worry.  All of a sudden this successful, confident woman turned into a nervous wreck, potentially incapable of ever doing anything right again, and consumed with the greater fear of totally ruining the entire life of another human being.                It all started with the first time I changed my baby girl, was I wiping the right way?  And when I fed her, was I tipping the bottle at just the right angle?  Did I burp her enough, should I have her on a schedule, should I let the grocery clerk look under the blanket and am I holding her too much???  And lets not mention that I actually did bathe her when her umbilical cord was still attached!  (hey don't judge, I only had 5 weeks to prepare for being a first time parent! BTW, Nothing happened! ;) ) Then there was the guilt of I'm letting her cry too long (because I was peeing for goodness sakes!), she is spitting up too much, is it my fault she has a diaper rash....and so on a so forth.

    Well now that I am a totally experienced and professional mom who knows it all (do you hear me laughing at my words??) and guess what?  I still worry like a freaking nut case and my guilt often sits in the pit of my stomach like a little rock, or maybe it feels more like a wiggly snake...either way, its just all too much sometimes. I thought I would make a little list over the last few days..ok, I'm lying, all this worry was about an hours worth, but here it goes...and if you don't relate to any of this?  I so don't believe you, but I wont call you a liar ;)



*I worry that they might break a bone jumping on the couch, but if I don't let them they will be woosies (just had to use that word because it kinda makes me smile)

*I feel guilty when I sit