photo by:www.klikphotographic.com

Roo… is a former stockbroker who hung up her trading shoes when her daughter was six months in her belly. She started Oops! Sheet to fulfill her dream of being able to be home to raise her daughter. When asked when the next child will be coming along, she likes to joke that “she got it right the first time!”   

“Want to do a Guest Post on our Blog?” Lindsay asks. “Sure,” is my response. “Something light and fun,” says Linz. Sounds easy enough. But for two weeks I have started writing, just to stop and think, “No. There is nothing funny about that.” I have easily a dozen starts to this light and fun Guest Post for the fabulous Earth Monkeys Moms Blog. A blog that always makes me laugh out loud. And I’ve got nothing. Nothing at all to contribute.



Could it be that we are not fun, in my household? What is “fun” anyways? Let’s see what Google says. According to Wikipedia, “Fun is the enjoyment of pleasure.” Well, that sounds like something that happens all the time in our house! Perhaps I just needed to think harder. Fun, funny… Then it came to me: 



{Naked Kids }



It all began innocently enough. My six year old daughter loves to hang out with the four year old boy from across the street. She loves forests, bugs, and digging in the dirt. Boys do too. So the little boy across the street and my daughter get along like two peas in a pod.



The other day my daughter wanted to play in the back forest with her buddy from across the street. I opened the back gate for them and they ran happily into the forest in search of dinosaur bones and spots to dig to China. Oh, and did I mention they both happened to be in their bathing suits? Now normally that isn’t trouble when we’re talking about a six year old girl and a four year old boy…



Every few minutes I’d peek over the fence to see that all was well. And it was. For a while. During a routine peek over the fence, I could see WAY too much of my child’s skin. Sure enough she’s standing there, naked as the day she was born. With her bathing suit in her hand. The little boy from across the street is still wearing his bathing suit. Both were just chatting as though there were nothing unusual going on.



Not wanting to cause alarm, I very much needed to hear exactly how she came to be standing naked in the forest with the boy from across the street, bathing suit in hand. I told her there was something in her hair and to quickly come into our house with me. Streaking across the yard, in plain view of the entire neighbourhood, she runs into our house.



{Me} “Sweetie, why is your bathing suit in your hand?”



{My Child} “What’s in my hair, Mom?”



{Me} “Nothing is in your hair, I just wanted to find out why you are naked.”



{My Child} “Oh. My bathing suit got stuck on the blackberry bushes. I couldn’t get it unstuck so I took it off.”



Bless their innocent little hearts! The little boy from across the street had been standing side by side with my naked child while they both tugged her bathing suit off the blackberry bushes… There was a reason I found the kids chatting as though there was nothing unusual going on - that’s because there wasn’t anything going on! He was just trying to help her out and neither one of them thought naked was a big deal.



Childhood is such an innocent yet hilarious time… anyone else catch their kids in crazy situations? Situations that appear bad at first glance but turn out to be just fine?



After spending two weeks trying to find something light and funny to write about, I’ve taken it as a sign that I need to learn to look harder for the light and funny things in life. I think there is a lesson to be learned here and the best way to learn that lesson is to start a blog for Oops! Sheet. Stay tuned! One Oops! Sheet Blog coming right up… in two weeks… or so…

It gets worse but I want you to still like me so we'll leave it at that... Is there anything in your life that is out of whack, but you justify it as "Just being how you are"?? Are you brave enough to put on your big girl panties (not to be confused with granny panties) with me and take the plunge.... I'm scared but I know it will be worth it...



P.S. If you'd like to know more about how you can have Kriste as your coach, check out her site at: www.coachingtowardempowerment.wordpress.com 



P.S.S. Not this isn't a paid review of her services... we're not that kind of blog... we just like what we like and we pass it on:):)

     Anyone miss the big topic this last week...."the end of the world".  Just in case your FB friends were focused on joking about something else and you missed it,  it was predicted that the end was 5/20/11  at 6:00.  As we all know, it didn't happen. (Not to  lose anyone here but I must say that I do think that it will happen but no one knows when, and no one will know)...anyway...

     I don't really know much about the guy that came up with that prediction, and I didn't believe his theory personally but I do have to admit  to waking up that morning with a little different feeling heading into what could have been our last day here on this earth.  I was a bit happier to see my kids (at 6:00 AM), and I tried to smile at my husband even before my coffee took full affect.  You see, I woke up thinking "what if this is our last day here? What would I want this day to be like?  It's not the first time I have thought that, and I  know I'm not the first one to wonder those things.  We have all lost a loved one, or heard someone else predict a certain day as being the "end day", you may have even had a near death kind of situation yourself, and those events always prompt that kind of a question.   This time for some reason, it just really hit me.

      I am busy.  Too busy.  I am impatient.  I always have to get home to do something "really important" when my kids just want to go to the park.  I get tired.  Very tired.  I complain about things like dishes in the sink, a never ending pile of laundry, and shoes that seam to think their home is the living room floor.  I turn away from conversations, to do a really quick thing on the computer (I justify it as work!)  It's easy for  me to put my kids in front of the T.V. so I can get dinner made in peace (right).  I like to send them outside to play so mommy can "finally get things picked up".

     Well on may 20th, I thought, if I am leaving this planet today, I am not leaving behind a clean house for the person that moves in and takes it over when I'm gone.  So I spent the day simply being mom.  I sat and looked at things from Mr. destructo's perspective...ants really are amazing, and cars are kinda fun to race, he is hilarious...I listened to my  princess tell me amazing stories, and snuggle just for the love of it.  She looks at detail like no one I've ever known.  She is beautiful.  My husband is so handsome when he smiles.  He is strong and funny and smart, when I take the time to notice.  I miss my family when I am so busy trying to make our world perfect.  What I realized is that me not trying, is what makes our world "perfect".

Funny how a crazy man telling us that it is our last day here is what made me slow down and just be.  In reality, my world could end today, I have no way of knowing...so how do I want to spend it?  I've asked myself this before, but I want to live this question, because I don't know when my last day will be.

     In reality, I do have to get things done.  I do have to make dinner and do laundry, but do I have to obsess about these things, or can I just chill so my family can have a mom and wife that takes time for them?  This is what I want, to live so that I don't miss out on them and our life together.  And so this is how I will live today, like THEY are the most important thing in my world.  Because they are.



So today I'm wondering if last weeks prediction made anyone else out there think...Did you spend that day any different?? Or If today was your last day here, How do you want to spend it?  

Comment below...we want to know what you think.



And make sure to share us with your friends!  We all need each other on this crazy journey!

I love my kids, I do, but wow, my youngest has hit the terrible two’s, her birthday is actually the day this will post, the 20th. I can’t wait 'til next year; I remember 3 being so much fun, right now that is the only light I have.



I’m writing this a few weeks early (5/5/11) because of a trip I’m taking, and I felt inspired today because I am so stressed out, going so insane and in need of a much needed time out. To the point of wanting to scream and cry and lock myself in my closet…with my children’s Easter baskets.



My days start around 6:30 am with a screaming toddler and end hopefully around midnight if everyone goes to bed and I have gotten chores done and hopefully some writing on my next book… which feeling inspired when I am absolutely drained, annoyed and well, pissed off? Yeah that’s gonna happen! So needless to say I am exhausted, I am cranky, I yell too much, and stand in front of my refrigerator often looking for something…anything to make me feel better. But since I have been watching my sugar intake sadly there is nothing good in my fridge (that would constitute binging on, at least).



Here is my dilemma, I need a break so badly, I want one so badly, I want to sleep in until noon and be awakened by a room service person bringing me a veggie omelet with a bran muffin (wow I am getting so old) I just realized how lame my “dream” is, bran muffin, sheesh! I remember the days before I had kids, Awe College, scheduling classes to start after 10am, sitting at the Starbucks as I leisurely read my assigned work. Staying up late, cleaning and having things stay tidy…oh sorry I got lost for a minute there. Anyhow where was I? Oh yes - I’m desperate for a break!



When the time comes for me to take one though, I feel horribly guilty and frankly - terrified. What if something happens to the kids? What if something happens to Dave and me? What if there is the earth quake that everyone says there is going to be, and I am on another continent enjoying an adult beverage? And now thanks to recent events, what if there is a terrorist on my plane and I go down and become a flight number?



I know these thoughts are irrational, but I also know that my trips are always tainted with my worry. We leave for Cancun in a week, I am beyond excited, especially after a day like today, but I know the night before we leave I will think of every excuse not to go, (I have already checked the cancellation insurance, yeah, it’s pretty specific about injuries and such, so that probably won’t work). But seriously I will be in tears as the flight attendant tells me where the emergency exits are. I will be profiling every single person on the aircraft, (not for if they may be carrying a bomb, but as to how easily I can knock them over and beat them out the emergency exits) and my stomach will be in knots the entire flight, which will in turn make matters worse because I swear to God that I WILL be the person that gets sucked into the airplane toilet and so I’m afraid to use them.



MY POOR HUSBAND.



Here’s the problem, I bitch, I wine, I complain… “I need a break; you get to go to work! You get a break; you get to miss the kids! You get adult time! All I do is dishes and diapers and I vacuum and then YOU walk in with dirty boots!” So he says, “Okay Merry Christmas YOU are getting a break, we’re going to Cancun!” I cry, get excited, start planning ridiculous expeditions, and then as the date approaches I start to freak out again, “We didn’t get our Will done! What if Madi loses her first tooth while we are gone? Will your parents know to save the tooth? What if our plane goes down? What if they get sick, I can’t leave a sick kid and go on vacation. What type of a mother am I that I want a break from my own kids?? Blah blah blah…crying...blah blah…more ridiculous crying, wailing now...blah blah!”



Again, MY POOR HUSBAND.



He can’t win, he tries, but he can’t because I am officially psycho! This man tries so hard, he gets up every morning before everyone else, he tip toes around the house as to not wake the kids, or I, God bless him. Goes to work where he gets yelled at by co-workers or the public, apologizes all day long for stuff that he didn’t do, most days comes home for lunch so I can get five minutes to myself, goes back to work, then somehow gets in his truck comes home to a house of crazy. He then will, a lot of nights, make dinner, play with the kids, get yelled at for not taking his work boots off, do bath time, cut toe nails, read bedtime stories, and then get up five times to tell the kids to go to bed because I am dead on the couch. Then he watches a show or two, falls asleep on the couch, is rudely awakened when it’s time to get in bed, and finally falls asleep, just in time for his alarm to go off again. I seriously don’t know how he does it.



But I’m so glad he does.



I know he needs this trip as much, if not more than I do. I know he has earned it, me - not so much. So, this week I am going to bite my tongue when all my crazy worries fill my brain, I am going to try to take a sedative before the flight so I won’t panic and cry the entire time, and I will force myself to enjoy my time, our time.



Sure I feel selfish taking time away from the kids, but something I do know: it feels so good to miss them! It feels so good to wonder what they are doing, it feels so good to be sitting over a long and relaxing dinner and end up talking about our kids.



It feels good to WANT to be home.



So if you need a break, take one. Don’t feel guilty or afraid, whatever is going to happen…is gonna happen. But if we don’t take care of ourselves and our relationships, they’ll burn out. I know that for Dave and I, our relationship has to be number one, as much as I know I’ll get grief for saying it, the kids sometimes have to come second, because if mama and dada aren’t happy, then no one is happy. Even if it is one night away, just locally, take it, if the opportunity comes - seize it! In the long run, your kids will be happy you did, your kids will be happy you valued yourself and your relationships. It may take years for this to happen, but one day they’ll be thankful that their mother isn’t insane.



I can happily say my children's Easter candy has survived another day, no guarantees for tomorrow though.

My treasure from Serendipity in Bend this weekend "Living the Minivan Dream"!

I drive a 2002 heavily "loved" minivan. It has war wounds from spilled soy milk and rogue french fries that have been petrified between the seats for years. It has a bit of a large ding on the front passenger side where I ran into our garage one day while texting and driving a bit too fast. (eeek...no kids in the car thank goodness:) It's pushing 200K miles and the automatic sliding door has been transformed into my daily workout since it takes all 160 pounds of me to close it each and every time we want it to work... I am in every sense {LIVING THE MINIVAN DREAM}... and it's only now that I can wear that badge with honor.



Last week on Mother's Day my little sister and I were swapping war stories of our destructive children and sleep depravation when my mom chimed in and said. "I know I had my melt downs when you kids were growing up... but I really LOVED my job as a stay at home mom... it doesn't really seem like you girls like it." I was stunned and hurt, and while my mom wasn't meaning to be disrespectful or hurt me... her words cut me deep and I cried myself to sleep that night.  I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs that she didn't understand... that I love my kids but that didn't mean that I had to love the endless laundry and accidents and potty training and sibling rivalry... I knew my defense was weak though and as a mother of 5, every part of her understood my feelings of frustration and wondering if sleep would ever be something I experience EVER again. Every part of her knew the darkness that creeps in from time time, telling me that my only worth in life is as a maid, servant and "cook"(or in my case we'll call it a "microwave technician")... and maybe her words wouldn't have hurt so much if my husband hadn't said the same thing to me just a few weeks ago... I was defensive because I wondered if there really was a small piece of truth to it.



This past weekend I was able to go on my first EVER in the history of the world {MOM'S WEEKEND}. It was awesome and refreshing... we ate great food and drank good wine. More meaningful than anything though were the amazing conversations we had reminding me how blessed I am to wear the badges of chief butt wiper, nose blower and meal maker... reminding me how blessed I am to bear the marks of motherhood and how important my job of raising my three little men really is...

...proof that the urban legend of a "Mom's Weekend" is more than a myth...

I think sometimes in my quest to be real and relatable I come across grouchy and complaining. While preaching on my soap box, that none of us have it all together, I get lost and forget so often to relate the beautiful redeeming parts of motherhood ...  the snuggling, and loves and giggles and beauty of seeing my boys love each other. What terrifies me is thinking that my kids, even for a nano second, might think I don't love my job as their mom. The bottom line is that we're at a rough stage in life... with 2 toddlers and a very special 6 year old... life on any given day is not easy. There are many days that I just cry to myself thinking... "This is NOT what I signed up for." But I know we won't be in this season for ever... and I do love my job and my family more than anything... they define me ... they make me a better person... they give me purpose and passion and laughter and so much unconditional love and forgiveness that I don't deserve. Before them, life was easier... life was less messy and complicated... life was carefree ... BUT BEFORE THEM... I WAS LOST...  AND BEFORE THEM... I DIDN'T HAVE A SONG.



Have you ever heard a song that actually changed your life... your perspective or your heart??? This one did just that to me this weekend! It was like a sweet punch in the face (if there is such a thing) reminding me that I am nothing without my four men... even with a crappy minivan and old rundown house and having to scrub UBS (Unidentifiable "Brown" Stuff) out of the carpet 17 times a day... I love my life and I am so completely blessed! I L-O-V-E JJ Heller! I just downloaded her CD "When I'm With You" because every song on it is AMAZING... and I especially love "Until You Came Along" listen to it and you'll know why:) Here's the song, press play (below) to listen to it... [Click Here to buy on iTunes]

 This has been just a lovely last week.  I have been sick.  Not just your average "walk around with a tissue box in your hand" kind of cold...but a "knock you on your butt,  have to have mom come over to save the day" kind.  I haven't had coffee for a week, or even been able to taste my food!  That is sick people!   I think my favorite moment in it all was when Lindsay had to stop by to pick something up and I had been telling her for days that I was ok....she literally looked at me, winced, said something like "oooooo".  She then grabbed my destructo dude, ( did I mention he's been sick too?  ya!)  threw his clothes on (for the first time in days) and said "Im taking him, don't argue".  I didn't.

     I'm now in the clean up process of hacking up things that would disgust  a 16 year old boy,  I will have to work an extra day this week to pay for all of the kleenex I've gone through, and I'll need a forklift to rid my counters of all the "meds" I've tried.  I even have a friend coming to clean this week considering my home now resembles a toxic dump sight and mr. destructo will be getting a "shower by  pressure washer" to remove all of the dried on crust.  I'm at least grateful for my princess that requires little cleaning up on my behalf!  Lets not even talk about teeth here people...I think I've brushed mine, oh, I hope that wasn't just a dream?  My few showers were prompted by destructos comments of "you pell mommy"...not good when your 2 year old thinks you stink!  My husband is even sleeping upstairs...he says it's because of the germs on the bed, I'm hoping it's not long term.  There is a permanent dent in the couch where my butt has been planted, and my son now sings "nationwide is on your side" (a bit too much tv!)   I'm beginning to wonder, if it has evolved into a sinus infection because now I have a raging headache, stuffed up nose and my teeth hurt.  Not good signs.

     So this is where is gets a little funny....My sweet husband took the kids this afternoon so mommy could sleep (well mommy has to write a blog post so no sleep for her!).  So I decided to go get a Neti pot.  Have you heard of these?  Well Dr. Oz and Oprah say they are the best thing for eliminating allergies, preventing colds, and caring for those sweet little sinus canals.  And if they say it's a good thing, well, IT'S A GOOD THING!  :)



     So I got home with my precious, healing pot, and loaded it up with salt water and began to pour.  In the picture, the lady is smiling while water pours in one nostril and out the other.  So I put on my smile and went to town.....my smile didn't last long.  By the time I had salt water running down the back of my throat and into my mouth, all over my chin, and none flowing freely out the other side, the smile was replaced by gagging and spitting.  I was diligent though  I tried time after time (even though the salty taste reminded me of the time I got strep throat at camp and they made me gargle salt water, of which I swallowed half and threw up!)  I finally got a few drips to come out the other side, and considered it a success.  Oh, I will go back for more, I'm determined to conquer the Neti!

  



 So no deep thoughts today..no lessons, no ooo's, or ahhhh's.  Just a nasty look into my week.  Honestly, my brain can't function to bring you anything of value today.  I hope you got a little laugh at my expense...

I'm going send a FREE Earth Monkey product of your choice to the best (or worst) sickie story!  Post your best one in the comments below!

Katie... married her college sweetheart, and together they continue in youth ministry. Last year they left her hometown and moved with their two daughters to Southern Oregon to start a young adult ministry at Table Rock Fellowship.







The past year feels like a mountain. I’ve been slowing scaling it, step after step, with my husband and my side, my kids in tow. I wont go into the details of all that has happened, because most of you know and the rest of you don’t want to know. It’s been the hardest climb of my life. We're climbing this mountain because it’s the path we’ve chosen. It’s what we know is right. And it hasn’t been easy. It’s been full of ravines that we have managed to climb out of, and full of cliffs that we have managed NOT to fall off of.

I could spend all my time looking back down the mountain. I can see it all if I look behind. I can see the place where I was when I got the first phone call. I can see the pile of stones I sat upon when mom passed away. I can see the places my family collapsed to rest. Further up still, the places I stood when other news came my way. More phone calls, more conversations, more stabs in my heart. If I let myself, I could crawl into those memories and just let them darken my soul.



Or I could look up and take in everything else I can see from way up here. When I see the light of the sun on my children’s faces, I feel my heart lighten. When I lean against my husband’s arm and breathe deep of the air up here, clean and clear, I feel my burden lessen. When I look up, I see beauty.



I’m not just surviving anymore. I’m thriving. I’m growing. My family with me. It’s up to me really, how I react to these things that continue to happen. Because life is messy. Because people are messy. And things look even messier when I look down, when I focus on all that has happened, all that has been done to me. But, when I lift my eyes up to the mountains, to the sunrise, to the horizon, from this high place on which God has brought me . . . I see where my help comes from. I see how far I have come. I see how far He wants to take me.



And I can keep going. Not just dragging, but running. Leaping. Climbing vigorously. Celebrating. Suddenly, the climb is not about all that I’m leaving behind, but about all that I am going towards. I get stronger as I climb. As I look up. Those glances back are healthy. They are healing. As long as I look forward again when I’m done.



So hand in hand we walk, my family and I. Climbing upward. I’ll remember everything from this time. My husband will as well. We’ll treasure these things in our heart. I don’t know how much my kids will remember from this time. I hope they don’t remember the meltdowns I had. I hope they wont remember just the pain of loss and change, but how we got through it. How we tried to keep our focus on what was true, and pure, and good, and hopeful. That God never changes. I hope they’ll remember this when their own climb gets hard someday.



But for now, I hope we all learn to enjoy the view. That we learn to play, leaping from rock to rock instead of complaining about the hurdles. That we get stronger from this time, because it wont always be this way. Someday we’ll get to soar. And I want to be ready for that when it comes.

I think I've shared before... or maybe my mom (the E.M.G-Ma) has... but growing up my mom's mantra was "Do as I say, not as I do..." and it's still the running joke in our family. If you've read this blog at all, you know that I, Lindsay, am never the one to really write about advice or how to's ... mostly because my life is a series of "woops probably shouldn't try that again's".



So today's post is written mostly by some of you... last night on facebook I asked readers to finish this statement: A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER... and this is what YOU came up with...



{1} From Gena M... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ Refer to a tampon as a "push pop"...as it might cause confusion...and your child *might* dig one out of your purse and ask you to open her"ice cream" (not that I would know from experience or anything...) ;)



{2} From Shaneen... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ Leave her breast pump where her 3 year old son might find it and try to use it....and have a rage when his " boobs just won't work"...



{3} From Krystal... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ Smell things.... like if you find something brown in the car seat or in pants - accept that it's probably poo and resist the urge to smell hoping it's chocolate....it never is! Like when we find wet spots, why we sniff is beyond me - just wash it.



{4} From Lacie  & Kriste ... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ "SAY NEVER"... because you never know what kind of kiddo you'll end up parenting :) AND the moment you do, it always comes around to bite ya in the tush! ;)

[Editor's Note: True Dat... yeah I said it]





{5} From ME...~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ Ignore silence... it's never worth it, EVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



{6} From Tricia.... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ make their child eat liver!

[Editor's Note: I would like to add green peas and benadryl... all things my son pukes on site from... literally...]





{7} From Ceisha... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ Wear White.... really that needs no explanation:)



{8} From Mindy... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ assume that there isnt spit in her lipgloss tube...(i know...disgusting.) my daugter sneaks my tubes and somehow spit ends up them.. gag.





{9} From Jill... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ have long acrylic nails and change a poopy diaper... 

[Editor's Note: Did anyone else just throw up a little??]





{10} From April... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~  Mix red wine and chocolate martinis the night before Easter... and then get so sick she can't be the Easter Bunny...





{11} From Me Again... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~  Leave the car door open near a hose... because little boys see that as an open invitation to "wash" the inside of your car... we're talking hose full blast in the back seat "wash"... 





{12} From Emilie... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~  Shop for swimwear sober...





{13} From Cindy... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~  Accidentally take too much Tri Mag (a natural laxative) ...the night before assisting at a school field trip...





{14} From Kim... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~  assume that a child would "not" crawl in bed with mom and dad during "close" time, without being noticed!



{15} From Anonymous (obviously)... ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ Forget to lock the door while taking care of some "personal grooming".... [Editor's Note: this is not the original phrasing... I wrote the more socially acceptable version... the original knocked me out of my chair in hysterics... I didn't want anyone to get hurt.]





{16} From Christina...  ~A MOTHER SHOULD NEVER~ Think you have more time to be with them, Time is to precious. Enjoy every moment....They grow up too fast...



I thought I should end with a nice one:) hehe... I hope this made you laugh today... I love hearing from so many amazing moms everyday!! Thanks for sharing and making the rest of us smile!!! Have a happy Wednesday!

  



















      I feel like most days I spend that majority of my time cleaning up after the tirades of a two year old.  My vocabulary often feels limited to "don't put your pee pee on the dog...boogers go on tissues not in your mouth...and you can't eat off of the ground!'  Chaos feels like a permanent resident here; but it wasn't until last week that I actually experienced that mortifying, everyone is staring at me, I'm "that" parent, moment.



     Our day started innocently enough at music class when my dude took a vacation from reality.  He became the kid that everyone looks at and either says "thank God he is not mine, or that parent should not be allowed to have children".  Let me just preface this by saying that even though he can be out of control at times, I can almost always distract him, or figure out some kind of a discipline to snap him into reality.  But not today.  He was charging into closets, out doors and doing exactly the opposite of every activity we were supposed to be doing.  He was laughing hysterically at himself as he pulled my hair, climbed on everything (climbable or not) all the while getting the attention of every adult (and not in a good way!).  We managed to survive music class and I apparently lapsed into a total state of bad judgement when I attempted the post office!  (Earth Monkey products had to be mailed rain or shine, sweet or psycho toddler!)  About 15 seconds into the door, it started down hill fast...

I have managed to burry a lot of the details but for the sake of my final point, I will relive them now...



1 time pulling cards from the display

2 times throwing his dinosaur at the oh so patient man who worked there

3 laps around the counter that forms the line

4 rolls on the ground (under said counter)

5 bolts to the door (only one time trapped by a nice woman!)

6 head throws backwards as I trapped held him in my arms

7 items on the counter that had to be moved as I waited to mail our products

8 screams of delight at his insanity

9 beads of sweat on my brow

10 sets of eyes staring



     Maybe that does not sound too insane, but it is all I can relive.  The rest is just too painful.

Oh ya..one more thing..my dad all the years of my life (even now) has said to me, "think about what you say before you say it".  Well, that advice escaped me that day because as I carried him back to the counter after the 5th escape attempt, a woman commented (I think trying to make me feel better) "wow, he is fast"..to that I jokingly replied "ya, we call him birth control".  This is the point where I wish my dads advice would have been at the forefront of my mind because the other 10 customers, well lets just say that not one of them got the joke!  At this point,  I finished my business, buried my  head; or should I say my son had my eyes covered with my own hair and his hands; and I left.



     You ready for the moral to the story?  This is what I learned that day...one, best friends that can relate to this totally rock...and two, people that know lots of things are my super heros.  Did you know that red dye in our foods are directly related to ADHD????  I didn't, but now I do.  We eat super clean around here so we don't come into contact with much overly processed food, but the night before we had pink cupcakes at a birthday party, and the next morning, my son check out of reality.   So heres the deal, maybe it was, maybe it wasn't, but for me its just one more thing that we all need to know about.  There are so many dangers in the things we eat and this is just one.  So I challenge you to check all the processed food in your pantries and get rid of anything with red dye in it.  ESPECIALLY if you have a child who struggles with "post office type behavior", or a child that your sure might make you loose your mind.  Then do some research.  Don't take my word for it...just educate yourself!!!

Delores, has been a single mom of 8 kids since 1998, when her marriage of 22 years ended. Since that time, she has completed a Masters in Early Intervention/Early Childhood Special Education and began working with Child Development Services in Medford, Oregon in September of 2000. Her message is one of optimism, hope, and tenacity. She tries to be easy on herself, and not take things too seriously, and so humor is the vehicle she rides every day through life. She is currently working on planning the "Next Best Thing" in her life.... hoping to develop her own blog and pursue professional speaking.



When Gena and Lindsay moved my blog date to the beginning of Mother’s Day weekend, they told me it would be fitting because I am the “MOTHER OF ALL MOTHERS”. I’m still not sure exactly what they were hinting at, so I decided to take it as a compliment. Thanks, Ladies!!!



As I was percolating creative thoughts about this task, I was challenged to come up with an original idea or perspective about MOMS and Mother’s Day. Mothering has been exhaustively analyzed, celebrated in song, documented in books, elevated in poetry, and lovingly immortalized in works of art…… remember “Whistler’s Mother”??? (she was no stunning beauty, but I’m certain her baby loved her!!) It seems to me Motherhood has been examined from every possible angle. And on this day set aside to remind all of us to love on MOM, most of us are sure to remember our own MOMS and the special things that warm our hearts as we think about them.



We think of MOM as the nurturer, the one who was always there to listen to our dumb jokes and heartaches, to kiss our “owies” and make them all better. She was the one who carted us around to our friends’ homes, to school and sporting events, and to the doctor when we were sick. MOM is the one who always knew where everybody’s stuff was… (I still don’t know how she did that…. But I have been that same person in my home…maybe its “Mom Magic”). MOM always seemed to know what we were going to say, and had those infamous “EYES BEHIND HER HEAD”. (that always creeped me out until I was the mom with “EYES BEHIND HER HEAD”, and then I thought it was pretty cool !) MOM never forgot anyone’s birthday…EVER !! And, she would come and take care of the disgusting spider on the ceiling so we could go to sleep.



And then there were the memorable quotes we all remember, like….”You wanna cry? I’ll give you something to cry about !” (eeek, I think I have actually said that), “Don’t cross your eyes or they’ll stay that way”, “How many times do I have to tell you to put your dirty underwear in the hamper?”, “Get your finger out of your nose”, “Get your finger out of your brother’s nose”. And who can forget, “Yes, honey, you can always live with Mommy”, “Nite, nite, baby… Mommy loves you very much”, “I promise you it will feel better”, “I know it hurts, baby, and I’m staying right here with you”. Awww, thanks, Mom. (group hug right about now) One of my most treasured memories is recalling our bedtime ritual and the unforgettable words my Mom would say every night…”Sleep tight, sweet dreams, see you in the morning”. I can still hear her voice in the deep place within.

...just some of my amazing kids...

All of us have a treasure box of MOM memories. How about the way your MOM could look at you and make you recoil in fear without uttering a single syllable? Remember the familiar aromas drifting out of the kitchen as she prepared your favorite holiday meals? I wonder how many loads of laundry MOM did? “Back in the day”, my mother used a wringer washer. (If you are too young to know about them, go ask your grandmother). My mom always hung the laundry on the clothesline to dry.( Geeesh, I’m exhausted just remembering all that !!) How about the stray animals she allowed you to bring home? And what about the times she held you close as you sobbed over the latest tragedy in your young life? There’s nothing quite like having your MOM’S arms around you, and feeling the acceptance and consolation pouring out of her soul and into yours.



So now it is your turn to take on the role of MOM. It is a puzzlement to find yourself in the place of the one whom you adored. You are now and forever in the hearts and minds of your children, just as your MOM is in your heart. You so ache to get it all right. You instinctively know the importance of this job and what you do every single day. Sometimes, you don’t feel up to the task, but you keep on mothering, listening, helping, hugging, nurturing, and guiding. Sometimes, you feel your heart might burst because of the fullness of indescribable love you feel for your offspring. And now you know how SHE loved you.



You begin to understand so much more about your life with MOM. Things have come full circle and you are better for this understanding. Soon, you will experience the most difficult part of a mother’s journey and it will cause you to appreciate your MOM even more. You will begin to understand about LETTING GO. The one certainty we all face is the preparation of our young to launch and be free to define their own journey….to be like the mother eagle who pushes her young out of the nest because it is time !! This aspect of parenting is particularly poignant for MOMS because it is within OUR bodies that life begins. We have a unique bond with our children even before they make their entrance into the world, out of the protective womb. We intensely feel the responsibility to care for this new life. And we spend years doing just that.



Michael Bolton recorded a song entitled, “If I Could”. It’s a song about parenting and all that we would do for our children, if we could. My favorite line is this…”The life I gave you isn’t mine…. I watched you grow… So I could let you go”. This is the toughest thing we face as MOMS. Our MOMS faced this when we began to tug at the umbilical cord to begin the fight for our freedom from her constant oversight. She faced the pain of that struggle and learned to let go. And so will you.



I have been learning to let go and release over and over again. (maybe that’s why they call me the “Mother of all Mothers”). I want you to know that through it all I still am MOM. My kids know I am here for them. I will still cry and laugh with them, hold them if they need holding, kiss them, give them guidance, and maybe do some laundry if I’m in a really good mood !!! And so will you. Because that’s what we do…. We are MOMS. It’s a tough job, certainly not for the faint of heart… but it does pay big dividends !



Celebrate your day, MOMS. Bask in the love and adoration of your young ones. If your MOM is still here with you, let her know you get it. Thank her for catching you. Thank her for releasing you. And promise yourself you will remember the full circle of your job. The life you gave them isn’t yours to keep… You watch them grow, so you can let them go. Happy Mother’s Day !!



To get regular doses of Delores' humor and inspiration visit her blog State Of Delorium! She also has a new facebook page CLICK HERE to check it out!

     I have this super cool wall in my house that I painted with chalkboard paint.  It is either filled up announcing a birthday, holiday, special event deep thought or a scripture.  It is almost always covered partially in kids drawings, and currently it has a scripture on it from Colossians 3, that reads...(an abbreviation from the original text..)

Put aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander and abusive speech from your mouth!

Lay aside: the old, evil self= put on the new self!  Be renewed!!!



     This verse has been there for a month or so and was originally put up by me when I was just being short and nasty to my sweet husband for no real reason.  I needed that reminder to stop being ugly with my words and attitude!  Now...for even more honesty!

  

     I had been husbandless for a couple of days; just a side note: hats off to you mamas doing this solo!  You are heroes!  Can I just add another side note before I continue without this whole thing feeling like one big side note??  I love my family and my children with so much passion it hurts my innermost being.  They are a part of me, even though they are not from my body.  My arms ache for them, and I am only complete because of them.  That being said...

     I had been husbandless for a couple of days when mama "snapped".  I won't give all the reasons why my snap felt justified, but it happened after many days of arguing, whining, crying, and straight up irritation.  I took the kids to bed and they started arguing about who wanted me to "tuggle" them first.  I know it sounds silly, but it was like the straw that broke the camels back...I just couldn't handle it!  I got up and said "I don't want to snuggle anyone, I just want to be alone" and I walked out.  Thats when it hit me, like a punch in the face, I walked right toward the wall.  I knew right at that moment that the verse, was still there for me; but this time, it was about my attitude toward my kids.

     You see, I have been justifying my shortness, my irritation and my bad attitude by saying "I have a crazy frustrating terrible 2 year old boy, and an only slightly less frustrating 6 year old girl".  But is that a good justification? or is it that  I have let my attitude go to a really ugly place?   As I stood and stared at the verse, I realized that I had to start right at the moment to do exactly what I had resolved to do toward my husband..to put aside anger, wrath, malice, slander and abusive speech.  To lay aside the old, evil self and put on the new self.  Be renewed.

     For me though, this is not a one time commitment to myself.  This is an ongoing, moment by moment choice to put on the new self.    I don't have a 12 step plan to follow, I don't have a contract to sign or a long speech to make.  Just a simple story on how the only way I can change my attitude, is to allow my heart to be renewed.  For me, this involves praying for change and allowing my heart to be softened and for my ugly self to be renewed to a soft, and patient mommy for my kids.  They deserve it.  

     This is not a lecture for anyone today, or even a "how to" post, but a simple dose of honesty that is hard to admit to, but necessary for my growth.  I know it's hard to raise kids...it's easier to be at work all day (I know, I do it both!)  but it is my most important job I will ever do.  I will never be perfect at it, but I will put aside my anger, wrath, malice, slander and abusive speech, I will put on a new self.  For me and my family;



     I turned away from the wall, walked back into my kids room, apologized, snuggled first with my baby girl, then climbed in bed with my little walking hunk of frustration.  Through half closed eyes he whispered to me "I love you sooo much..." as they closed the rest of the way he finished with "we have a family".

All I could do was cry.

Thank you God, for these little miracles that I in no way deserve.  Thank you for giving me renewed patience, and thank you for renewing my heart.

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Eco Chic Hand Knits... Organic cotton face scrubbies

T-Aroma... $20 gift certificate for yummy bath goodies

Eco Glo Minerals... full size jar of shimmer eye shadow 

Dabrowski Designs... amazing custom bling hat

Earth Monkeys... Green on-the-go baby gear {bib, changing pad, paci-pack}

Vivo candles...a delicious soy/coconut candle

Irma Gusman Jewelery...a gorgeous handmade necklace and earring set 

Oops Sheet...your choice of a mattress protecting sheet

My babies green...you must check out all of their awesome things!

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