We hope this gives you a good laugh...if it does, please share us with your friends!  And please, leave your best advice (or really embarrassing story) in our comment box below, its not too late to help out a fellow EMM!



We wish you all a very safe and happy new year!!  Thank you all for a first great run...we look forward to a ton more fun!

NVAKATPGPMZE 

I still vividly remember the day Gena and I were walking the hills in her neighborhood gossiping having a deep conversation ... It was in our annoying pre-kid days,  and we were talking about all of the "NEVERS" and "Can you believe so and so let's their kids..." The victim of our rants was a "friend" who actually made her kids a separate meal of hot dogs and macaroni and cheese because they didn't want to eat what she and her husband were eating. The nerve! Can you believe it??? Right then and there we swore we would NEVER make a second dinner for our kids and certainly NEVER hot dogs or mac and cheese. Five years later I have one thing to say about that discussion.... Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha.... Sorry, but I was an idiot.



Of course Gena's children followed her annoyingly perfect little plan, but thankfully for our friendship, they give her loads of grief in other areas... (so you don't have to hate her either:))  My children on the other hand have MAJOR sensory issues and will only eat a very few things. My oldest has actually thrown up at the dinner table just from looking at green peas in a bowl next to his plate.  I cook 6 meals a day, in an attempt to get my kids to eat something... anything besides chips and pretzels... and while autism and sensory issues play a HUGE roll in their pickiness... I know there are other families out there blessed with kids that simply refuse to eat because they are just plain picky. On a side note, if you don't have a picky eater, please keep all of your "helpful tips" to get kids to eat to yourself... unsolicited advice in this area on the wrong day could lead to a nasty cat fight:)

Proof that mealtime at the McPhails is an actual war zone!

Meal time is a source of constant anxiety for me. One... because I am a horrible cook and can't follow a recipe to save my life and two... because it is almost impossible to get any nutrients into my boys  because they will only eat about 4 different meals.  On top of everything else... my kids are on a gluten, casein, dairy and soy free diet, this equals a huge pain in my butt and a grocery bill that is more than our house payment each month.

Do fried green snap peas count as a veggie??

While I'm not huge fan of New Year's resolutions I know that getting my family healthy is a MUST... so I am making the "Un-Resolution" (because I'm a rebel and don't want to admit to making a real resolution) of sneaking veggies and nutrition into their diets... even if it means I have to lie and cheat and sneak... conveniently my conscience has no qualms with this.



So here are just two small changes I'm going to make to ensure my children don't get scurvy this year or become morbidly obese before the age of 6.

Jessica's first cookbook

1) Deceptively Delicious and Double Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld will become my bibles in the kitchen... Most of you have probably heard of her... she is oh so sneaky and even more fabulous in the kitchen than she is deceptive. While most of my meals would only pass as "deceptively edible" I have been using her recipes and sneaky tactics to trick my kids for the past couple of weeks... and it's actually working!!! (and I should add learning to follow recipes actually does make food taste better, who da thunk it!) Even me, the "anti-martha" can have success in the kitchen when enticed by deceptive trickery:) Some of our faves are her pancakes, spaghetti, and hamburgers and I am trying to add new things like quesadillas and mac and cheese to our short list of approved meals. (She also has a "Do It Delicious" blog with great ideas and recipes.)

Picture "borrowed" from Bay Area Bites

2) I am also going to do MENU PLANNING to save at the grocery store and to make sure I am only buying what I need and using what I already have. When my hubby and I sat down to do our budget a couple of weeks ago I laughed at the thought of carving our grocery bill down from $1,500 to $1000 a month. Seriously I didn't think there was anyway this could be done. So, skeptically I decided to plan out our meals for a week, and make my grocery list off of that menu (this includes all snacks too.) I almost fell over dead when I saw that we spent $175 for the entire week and had everything we needed!!! I am not a planner and organization is NOT my strong suite... but it really wasn't that hard, so when I say if I can do it, anyone can do it... I really do mean a monkey could do it!! (Here's a great site to help with menu planning: orgjunkie.com)



So, whether you have a picky eater or just like tricking your family (or both... like me:) Check out the sites above and let us know what you think! We also want to know what your "Un-Resolution" is for 2011!

     As I sat in the middle of our living room floor yesterday, surrounded by crazy amounts of Christmas clutter, I looked down at my poor, tired hands, and as I did, I couldn't help but laugh...not a laugh like "ha, ha, ha" but a laugh like "hu, hu, hu".  Around two of my fingers I had strategically placed bandaids that were being used to cover some pretty intense war wounds, (and this is where I am going to leave out the part about the blister on my palm from pealing 10lbs of potatoes...ya really).  Ok so back to the bandaids...they were actually there to conceal gouges I got after battling that stupid plastic stuff inside of the boxes that my kids new Christmas toys were in!  You know the stuff!!  It's too difficult to cut it with scissors, and just a bit too sharp to tear with your hands...hence, the bandaids!  

     I spent  almost a full 12 hours yesterday just trying to get all of the "stuff" that we lugged home from our families Christmas gift exchanges, put away and organized of course... needless to say that my day was spent in much frustration.  Now before you get all "oh poor thing, they got too much stuff" on me...I asked everyone to do VERY little for my kids, and nothing for me (except a coffee maker!!! girls got to have something!)...that being said...it was still a mess.  It did get me to thinking though that as much as I love Christmas and all that it brings, I started to wonder if all of your "days after" were just as frustrating.  Misery loves company right???  So I had to ask "what is the most frustrating thing about the day after Christmas?"  And now, I'm going to share... 



"Clutter! I now have to buy things to put the things we bought in!!"

(I love the thought of Kim out buying plastic storage bins to store all of her new stuff!!)





"mind numbing exhaustion..... I have lost it twice today with my fam... at least we made it through Christmas Day without a visit from "mommy dearest"

(this is from our own EM Lindsay, couldn't leave her out...really only twice??? Hmmmmm)





"the constant clutter of new toys everywhere...even after you pick it up a hundred times."

(oh sweet Stacey...is this really any different than any other day, oh I see, the toys are NEW!!!  How many more days till those kids go back to school??)





"packaging, toys, left over desserts, decorations that need to be taken down....a bit overwhelming, very very tired. today we had a second christmas with my husband's family...I think I'm Christmased out!"

(Amy...to that second Christmas...just say NO!!!)





 And the winner of the BUOAMTT award for "best use of a meteorologist term today"...Mindy and Callee tie for their brilliant use of  "tornado" when describing their homes!!!





We wont be taking away Patricias MOTY award for this...but I think she may be the only one that could tell this story..."Using the auto clean on the oven, only to start a fire, turn it off but can't open the door until it cools. Teenager waking up saying something smells here. Now not only the the cleanup of all the celebrations but the "de-stink" of the house"





"All the Christmas decorating still being up. I've been known to take them down Christmas night...lol"

(Um...Stepanie....are you SURE you are related to Lindsay???)





"Food hangover and hating yourself for how OUT OF CONTROL you were with your eating!!!"

(Thanks for being honest Leigh...and I think I'll throw Renee's "ugh" in there that she used to describe how here jeans are now fitting!  Guess it makes setting a New Years Resolution just that much easier!!)





Katie nailed this one..."Too much trash and not enough room in the trash cans!!!"

...I can't pass on mentioning the irony of this one...I just had to let the dog out, and after he did not return in a timely manner I went to check, and found him rooting around in the overflowed trash bag that was left laying on the garage floor!!! ARG!!





And even though I had a bunch more I would love to mention, I thought I would end on this one from Rebecca...

"Knowing that the anticipation of Christmas is over and now have to wait 364 more days for that day again. And that I can no longer listen to Christmas music."





...I have to be honest here for a second and say that when I first read this (don't hate me Rebecca) I think I threw up a bit in my mouth from all the sweetness!!!  But then as I looked over at my beautiful tree still lit in all it's glory, ornament-less on the bottom (thanks to my 2 yr old) and covered in random drawings and stuffed animals (thanks to my 5 yr old) I got just a tinge of sadness that I will be unplugging it for a final time in about 2 weeks when I can finally get around to it! (sarcasm!) And you know what?  I realize that I love more than anything to be in a store when the words to the music are "Christ the Savior is born" and not "I kissed a girl and I liked it" (REALLY??)....I love driving around with my kids  in constant amazement of the gorgeous lights!    I love that my husband and mom gave gifts to others in need "in our names", and that our church feeds hundreds of people in our community Christmas day...I will miss my daughter with her daily countdown, and the bantering and sneaky remarks my husband and I have been tossing around about Santa (he's a lover, I'm the hater).   I will miss being able to justify cookies and wine I mean fudge, I will miss our stockings hanging on the wall, but mostly I will miss the people that choose to smile through the chaos and say "Merry Christmas"!!!





So to Rebecca and the rest of us, I say, keep the Christmas music playing, keep greeting each other (even if its with a "Happy Lunar Eclipse") and keep up the spirit of giving...We need each other all year long!!





We do still want to hear about your "day after' madness...so please leave a comment below!

And please keep sharing us will all of your friends!!!





And one more thing...tune in Friday when Lindsay and I give our best "how to survive New Years Eve" advice!!!

I used to turn into a raving maniac before a shindig at my house. I was an especially fine wreck at Christmas. That final arsenic hour before the first ring of the doorbell would find me ranting and racing like a sprinter to the finish line. Although I don't recall sprinters using the language I would use to inspire them to push on. My husband and children bore the brunt of my attitude only to witness me opening the door to the guests with a warm and gushing "Hello!, Merry Christmas, so glad you could be here!" I guess the family learned early on that mama had some multiple personality issues and they were only privy to my dark side.



My kids are all grown now and while I have mellowed out and even eliminated a few of the other people who have dwelled within me, I still grapple with the arsenic hour before the guests arrive. Last month on Thanksgiving in that last dark 1/2 hour before the doorbell, the turkey was refusing to brown, and I desperately needed the oven before the rising, yeasty rolls missed their window to bake at their peak. It was then I realized I hadn't freshened up all day. I was a frazzled looking mess and running up the stairs to slap on some make-up I discovered the dog had a terrible accident on the guest room carpet. I lost it. It was ugliness at its finest. I learned later our youngest son had reported to his uncle: "It must be Thanksgiving because mom is saying the "F" word." The men in my family huddled wearily out in the shop until they were sure it was safe to go near me again. We had a good laugh about it later but I still felt the shame.



I love most things about the holidays, especially the cooking and baking and decorating. But our family is large and just doing the basics is a lot of work and the basics are never enough. Last year when our daughter and her family were loading up in the car to return to their California home after a quick 3 days home for Christmas, my 7 year old grandson looked at me with a sad face and said, "Gramma we never got to play, you were always busy." This was a knife in my heart. It was also the inspiration I needed to rethink it all. I thought I was too old to be sucked in by out lying pressures from the media to set the expectation bar so unrealistically high. We all want to give our kids that Hallmark movie Christmas, complete with the snow starting to fall on Christmas Eve, even when our kids have kids of their own. 56 years later I am discovering it is an impossible dream. Last night my 5 year old grandson spent the night. We were doing our usual shenanigans that we do on a sleep-over and in the middle of our raucous playtime he stopped and said "Gramma I love..." I thought he was going to say "you" but instead he said "Christmas." This from a boy who is growing up in a home where Santa and gift-giving is down-played greatly and the birth of Christ is at the forefront of the holiday spirit. Still, while he is aware that surprises await him, his love for this holiday is about the simple things. At 5:30 this morning he went downstairs when he woke and I found him plugging in the Christmas tree lights and all the other Christmas lights in the living room. It does look magical with the twinkling lights "all aglow" in an otherwise dark house (did I mention it was 5:30?) He snugged up with me on the couch and said "Very Christmas Gramma." With that I told myself I am done with the craziness. By the time you read this it will be Christmas Eve, but it isn't too late. Take the time today. Stop, sit, play, laugh and be silly with those monkeys you mamas. They won't care or remember if the house was clean or the dinner was perfect. They won't even remember if you didn't play with them Christmas 2010. But they will remember if you did. Do as I say, NOT as I did and by the way, "VERY CHRISTMAS!"

Cindy is the official EMG, AKA: Earth Monkey G-ma. She says she's earned this title more by default than performance.  She's a 56 year old mother of 5 and gramma to 9 and her greatest achievements are her kids. She raised a blended family kind of like the Brady Bunch... if you can picture the Brady's with knives. She says, While she's far too quick with unsolicited advice, she's a fairly good example of "Do as I say, not as I did."

Check out Cindy's personal blog at: www.sawasquirrel.blogspot.com

     Well it has happened once again...my sweet motivated, brainy friend has dragged me into another challenge.  I try to steer clear of her brilliant ideas, schemes and "learning programs" but somehow, she is contagious.  I used to think that I was motivated until Lindsay and her energy made me come face to face with my complacency.  I'm realizing that I was ok with status quo...and uh, this is not necessarily a good thing.   Apparently she wants to be in business with a partner that thinks big, dreams big oh and writes big checks (but thats another story).



     Lindsay is forcing me to read..I am reading this great book upon her recommendation, and I'm actually enjoying what I am learning.  Before I say more, I have to tell you how I read.  I look at all of the chapter titles and then skip around to the ones that I think are the most interesting (don't tell her that).  So in this book titled "mentored by a millionaire" and I skipped to chapter 2 where he has a personality profile "test" to take and then he explains what all of the different personalities mean.  I thought this looked like the only fun part in the book...anyway...If anyone is wondering, I am dominantly "golden retriever" with a subdominant type of "lion".  To put it simply I am a sweet easy going door mat that will jump up and bite your head off if you ask me too many questions, I will always put your needs first, unless my patience has worn out then I will demand that you organize your cupboards and while I listen to you complain, but I will respond with encouraging words.  Wow, I am seriously neurotic!!!

     So when I first started thinking about all of this "personality stuff", I decided to give it the benefit of the doubt and REALLY think about it.

     Of course for me, that means dragging my husband into it as a guinea pig and then helping him to learn.   (by this I mean telling him all the ways that he is wrong and I am right).  But for real, what is hitting me all of a sudden, is that we are all different.  WOW you say, big revelation!!  Maybe this is not earth shattering to you, but for me, it kind of is...



 We are all different, not wrong, not right, just different.



We should all be able to read that a couple of times, and I should end here, but the Lion in me just cant do it...Sorry.

     I like to be right.  (again that pesky Lion!) I have a hard time admitting that I am wrong (big surprise to my husband...the analytical Beaver!) This is not a great trait!!  I don't like to talk on the phone, I don't like a lot of information.  I like to make a decision and be done. I sound like a real ?&*#% hu?  But you know what??  I am crazy compassionate, I will have your back no matter what.  I would give anything up for my family, and I would do anything for a friend.  I take on your grief, and your sorrow, and I would give you the shirt off my back, and the biggest check I can write along with it!!  Am I redeemed yet???

     So I guess what this all means is that we all have great weaknesses, and even greater strengths, it is all in how we use them....and...those around us have different strengths and weaknesses, and we should appreciate them!  And really, thank goodness for this fact!   How ridiculously boring would this world be if we were all the same.   How cool would it be if we all could encourage each other instead of being so judgmental and self serving.  I want to lean on my husband for his strength where I am weak, and give Lindsay control when I don't know what the heck I am doing!  Also, I am going to stop beating myself up for not having it all together.  I am designed to be a certain way and I am beginning to understand me.  Cool.  Now, what I am not saying is stay the same...be who you are...HMMMM let me see if I can say this right...be WHO you are, but a gentler, softer version of you.  If you are a "go get em and kill everyone who gets in your way" type person, CHILL...if you are a door mat, TOUGHEN UP...if you are so worried about being liked  that you stifle your logic,  SPEAK OUT.  You get what I am saying??  Use your strengths in a productive way, and recognize your weaknesses and grow from them.  We need to back up off those around us, and I think our kids should be included in this.  Just because they do things differently, does not mean they are wrong.  Lets all understand and appreciate one another instead of thinking we are right and everyone else is wrong...or is that just me???



What are your greatest strengths, and obvious weaknesses???  We want to know!!!



And please share us with your friends...unless they are perfect, we just wont be cool enough for them!

I love all things Vintage! Repurposing furniture and old funky "junk" into something i can use is so exciting! Its a fun and fairly cheap creative outlet. I decided on showing you all how to make a chalkboard. I've seen these in antique stores for upwards of 50 bucks! Once you invest in the chalkboard paint, you can make so many fun projects for next to nothing.

Picture by Maria Alexandra photography

The past two days have been challenging to say the least. Not because anything tragically terrible has happened... but because, well, let's face it... I'm a little bit drama... and a lot a bit PMSy. Not a real good combo for the "yule tide" season.  I was ridiculous...  I threw the biggest, most embarrassing, mommy tantrum baby Jesus has ever seen and I wrapped everything up with a "Really God?? Really?? WOW?? SERIOUSLY... WHATEVER!!!" .. I may have thrown a few other choice words in there because Thatcher, my three year old potty mouth police,  just kept saying, "Mommy, we don't say..."



I've just been in a funk... Things have not been happening at all how I planned. Like NOTHING is going according to plan...It feels like no matter how hard my husband I work we are stuck in the same pit in so many facets of our lives. And when you only focus on the crap that happens in life... guess what??? It makes you feel crappy, and I was consumed with how "wronged" I felt.  I was crying to my husband over the phone yesterday, (and by crying I mean shoulders bobbing, snot flying, eyes swollen from sobbing so hard) he listened to me rant for a while and then he b*^%$@ slapped me with a little bit of perspective... I honestly wasn't expecting it,  I started to get huffy and defensive... but then I realized I needed to put on my big girl undies and listen to what he had to say...



This is what he reminded me: 



Last year at this time...



We didn't have jobs....

We lived with my parents and had no clue when we'd have our own place...

We couldn't buy Christmas presents for our kids... (But thanks to Sparrow Clubs our boys were very blessed!)

We were living off of credit cards...

We were on food stamps...

Thatcher had just been diagnosed officially with autism...

We were both 30 pounds over weight ...



Looking at that list makes me cry... not because it's so flippen depressing, but because it reminds me of how incredibly much God has blessed us...





We now have jobs... good jobs...

We live in our dream house... (old and broken and out of date, but still our dream house)

We are able to provide a great Christmas for our boys... (they won't get everything they want, but that won't kill them)

We make enough to cover all of our needs...

We can afford the groceries our family needs...

Thatcher is talking and doing better than ever!!!

While neither of us our skinny minnies... we are healthy!

AND, After almost two years on the market our house in Portland is set to close Jan 13th!!!



So much can change in a year... even things that seem hopeless. Perspective is so powerful... and so easy to let go of and forget... It can make you happy and content when you have nothing or ungrateful and jealous when you really have so much to be thankful for. After I talked to my husband and owned my responsibility for some of the stuff going on I almost instantly felt a thousand pounds lighter... and for the first time in a long time I had peace and joy and even contentment... things I haven't genuinely felt for a long, long time... it was kind of beautiful.



This Christmas, I hope no matter where you're at financially or what is going on with family and friends, you would be able to experience the freedom, peace and joy that comes from choosing to focus on the blessings in life... Merry Christmas!



Things I am thankful for today...

Silly Pictures... of my beautiful boys!

The love of my life!

An amazing family!

A best friend who doesn't care when my son pees on her son's leg!