Picture by Maria Alexandra photography

The past two days have been challenging to say the least. Not because anything tragically terrible has happened... but because, well, let's face it... I'm a little bit drama... and a lot a bit PMSy. Not a real good combo for the "yule tide" season.  I was ridiculous...  I threw the biggest, most embarrassing, mommy tantrum baby Jesus has ever seen and I wrapped everything up with a "Really God?? Really?? WOW?? SERIOUSLY... WHATEVER!!!" .. I may have thrown a few other choice words in there because Thatcher, my three year old potty mouth police,  just kept saying, "Mommy, we don't say..."



I've just been in a funk... Things have not been happening at all how I planned. Like NOTHING is going according to plan...It feels like no matter how hard my husband I work we are stuck in the same pit in so many facets of our lives. And when you only focus on the crap that happens in life... guess what??? It makes you feel crappy, and I was consumed with how "wronged" I felt.  I was crying to my husband over the phone yesterday, (and by crying I mean shoulders bobbing, snot flying, eyes swollen from sobbing so hard) he listened to me rant for a while and then he b*^%$@ slapped me with a little bit of perspective... I honestly wasn't expecting it,  I started to get huffy and defensive... but then I realized I needed to put on my big girl undies and listen to what he had to say...



This is what he reminded me: 



Last year at this time...



We didn't have jobs....

We lived with my parents and had no clue when we'd have our own place...

We couldn't buy Christmas presents for our kids... (But thanks to Sparrow Clubs our boys were very blessed!)

We were living off of credit cards...

We were on food stamps...

Thatcher had just been diagnosed officially with autism...

We were both 30 pounds over weight ...



Looking at that list makes me cry... not because it's so flippen depressing, but because it reminds me of how incredibly much God has blessed us...





We now have jobs... good jobs...

We live in our dream house... (old and broken and out of date, but still our dream house)

We are able to provide a great Christmas for our boys... (they won't get everything they want, but that won't kill them)

We make enough to cover all of our needs...

We can afford the groceries our family needs...

Thatcher is talking and doing better than ever!!!

While neither of us our skinny minnies... we are healthy!

AND, After almost two years on the market our house in Portland is set to close Jan 13th!!!



So much can change in a year... even things that seem hopeless. Perspective is so powerful... and so easy to let go of and forget... It can make you happy and content when you have nothing or ungrateful and jealous when you really have so much to be thankful for. After I talked to my husband and owned my responsibility for some of the stuff going on I almost instantly felt a thousand pounds lighter... and for the first time in a long time I had peace and joy and even contentment... things I haven't genuinely felt for a long, long time... it was kind of beautiful.



This Christmas, I hope no matter where you're at financially or what is going on with family and friends, you would be able to experience the freedom, peace and joy that comes from choosing to focus on the blessings in life... Merry Christmas!



Things I am thankful for today...

Silly Pictures... of my beautiful boys!

The love of my life!

An amazing family!

A best friend who doesn't care when my son pees on her son's leg!