Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Eat. Pray. Love... EMM Style
The night I met my husband C.J., I knew he was "The One." I was supposed to go buy a plane ticket for Buenos Aires the very next day and had to tell the friend I was moving there with that I couldn't because I had met my husband. Mind you I had barely talked to the man... seriously I think I may have muttered one sentence... but I knew. So, after stalking him (but still not talking to him) for three months he finally asked me out. We dated for three months before he proposed and we got married three months after that. We were so incredibly in love.
That was 10 years ago... We were married for 5 years before we had kids. We camped and hiked, we volunteered and traveled. One time we drove to Baja on a whim, just because we could. It's weird though because I don't really remember life before kids... it's kind of like a dream that only seems vaguely familiar. Now our idea of crazy is staying awake through an entire episode of Parenthood on Tuesday nights.
C.J. and I have just come through the biggest test of our marriage... kids being diagnosed with autism, changing cities, changing jobs... losing our life savings to the housing crash... a second miscarriage... I would like to say we've made it through without any cuts or bruises... I would like to say that lovin' feelin' has never wavered... but it wouldn't be the truth. We did make it and our love is solid, there's no doubt about that, it's just been a long time since it's been light and fun and exciting like it used to be. I know we're not alone in this... I know we're not the only couple who has been taken over by life, and chaos and drama and forgotten how to put each other first along the way.
Right before the new year we sat down and decided to map out our marriage with goals and timelines and plans... yes, we are the biggest dorks alive. We knew it was important to decide what we wanted our relationship to look like, instead of continuing to just survive ... letting life dictate the state of things. We started praying together again, we reinstated date night (thanks to my precious mama for watching the monkeys) and agreed to give each other the G-word (no it's not a dirty sex thing, get your mind out of the gutter)... I'm talking about GRACE... which can, consequently, lead to a dirty sex thing because when you spend less time fighting there is a lot more time to do "other" things:) ahahahaha!
I don't know if things will ever be as easy and light hearted as they were when we first got married... and I don't know if I want them to be. We've been though so much, and our love runs so deep. We've seen God do miraculous things and we've been through heart breaking season's together... I think the best we can do for each other is keep trying, and never give up on making each other a priority... even when the dog pukes on the carpet, and the kids are crying and crawling up my legs... when the phone won't stop ringing and one of the boys has squirted out an entire tube of toothpaste...when we can't even finish a sentence without being interrupted by "excuse me, I just burped three times and it was really funny." We need to let each other know that we are valued and important... I think that's enough for me. Too many marriages end when the light hearted good times end... and even though it's different now, I know what's still to come will only make our love better and richer and stronger.
What does this have to do with Eat. Pray. Love??? I have no clue... I just like the title:) I never saw the movie or read the book... but I like to eat and a good marriage takes lots of prayer and love right?:)
Today, in the midst of working, wiping butts and doing the dishes I'm going to remember that in the beginning there was just us... I chose him and he chose me... Today I am going to do one thing... even if it's small to let him know that he's my priority... like he used to be.
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4 comments:
Good post Lindz! You guys are good for each other. Charles is a good man, and I am glad he has you. Bless you guys.
I love this post :) Especially the end, where you said I chose him and he chose me. I think it's so easy to forget that in all the craziness every day, that everything came about because of that one decision. Thanks for reminding me of that.
I like your love story..a good material for a movie...it's good to be young and fall in love
again.
I love this!!! I've been reading all your posts and I especially love this one. Far too often married couples get caught up in life's "challenges" whether it be children, work, school or a combination of all three and forget what brought them together in the first place. I'm so fortunate to have a husband who takes the time to express his love in all the little ways. And when it seems as though our "alone time" has been swallowed up by that thing we call LIFE, we are able to talk about the need to reconnect and get back to the value of "us", as it is just as important to him as it is to me.
So thank you for this post. Thinking of this will surely play a part in how I can let my husband know each day what a huge part of my life he is.
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