Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Bad attitude, I bid you adieu!





     My toddler is on an emotional roller coaster. I am amazed that one moment he is crying like his world has just been shattered and the next, he is hysterically laughing through his tears. I used to wonder how in the world one person could go from such highs to such lows in a matter of seconds, but lately, I began to realize that I can be just like him. This is not something that is easy for me to admit. I pride myself in being like the line on a heart monitor of a dead person, straight, steady and consistent. But unfortunately when I stop and think about what I look like to my kids, I imagine they see me the same way I see them, like an emotional roller coaster! We can all be laughing one minute and then the next I am “freaking out” about a small mishap.
       Being a mom is hard. Crazy hard. I spent many years in a stressful career and I realize after doing the mom thing for over 5 years now, this takes the cake for being much harder. (and to think I used to privately laugh when moms said that!) I am over worked, over stressed and over committed. I need sleep, good food and a chance to sit, for more than just writing this blog or playing cars. I think though what is really hitting me lately is that it is not my kid’s fault when I choose to have a short fuse. Ya, they can push my buttons, but I am a big girl, do they really deserve to be the brunt of my frustration? Do they ever deserve to be yelled at (I’m not talking discipline here) do they deserve my harsh disapproval? Never! (I want to point out that I am not a crazy yeller…just saying…) They deserve my loving correction and for my attitude to constantly be in check. I am the adult and though I continually get frustrated, I should just as continually be able to check how I am acting toward my kids. I tell my older child all the time that she is the older sister and she has to be nice…Well I am the oldest and I need to be nice!
     I don’t want to assume that every mom struggles with this, but if you do I hope we can make this commitment together. I am going to check my attitude all day long. If I am frustrated, I am going to think about my reaction toward my kids. I am going to be “nice”. I am going to be that consistent person that I want to be. I will fail, but I will get back up, dust off, and get back in the game. (I want to point out that I am not suggesting that we be pushovers. I am a big fan of discipline, and parents being in charge…)
     I’m assuming that at one time, most of us moms either begged God for children, or thanked Him when they arrived. I do not want to now be irritated by the things that I begged God for. I have them to enjoy and that is what I plan on doing, and I will do this by being in charge of MY ATTITUDE!