GENA...

I know very few single people anymore, but the ones that I do know, I envy…Just the thought of having the freedom to drive without being instructed, to go any movie, any time, and to make decisions without having to consult anyone.  I would love to own all of the real estate in my closet, and eat (only) vegetables for dinner.  If I were single, I would decorate my N.Y. loft apartment for my taste only (and have a lot of breakables and white furniture), I would watch chick movies every night and go to bed when I want!  Here is the funny thing…those single people I mentioned; are dying to find Mr. Right.  They love the thought of having someone to snuggle with, to laugh with and to travel with.  They would gladly give everything they own just for the comfort of having a loving husband to share every detail of life with….

I love my children more than there are words to describe, but sometimes I would love to cross a street without having to hold hands and panic about a runaway…I would love to swim alone, to shower alone and to drive without having to constantly pass food to the back seat.  I dream of sitting to enjoy an entire meal and not having my life revolve around nap time.  But once again, the people without children would practically sell their soul to have beautiful kids like mine.  I know this first hand because my husband and I struggled for years to have children of our own, and got to watch as so many around me celebrated their pregnancies…but praise God, he brought us ours through the miracle of adoption.  Having experienced what I have brings me to wonder, why do we think the grass always greener???

Well I think we all know…its not!

I could end there but this is something I have been thinking a lot about because its so easy to get frustrated when its seams like life would be better if only………You fill in the blank.  But you know what?  The person whose life you envy, would trade you in a second.  If your kids are driving you nuts…remember that there are thousands of women with empty arms waiting for a child to give her love to.  If you would like to trade your husband in for a hunky pool boy, or better yet a rich old dying guy…Remember that even with all of his faults many, many people are consumed with searching for someone to share life with.

I want to spend less time; no, I want to spend NO time being frustrated with the constant work my children are, and less time expecting my husband to fill my every need.  I want to spend more time just being thankful that I have such a wonderful family.

If you are single or childless, enjoy it!!!  Life will someday be so full, that you will long for just one moment of peace!

If you are married (or not) with children, find your joy in the chaos…because one day it will be quiet again.

The grass is not greener…So whenever we feel like indulging in a pity party…Lets just take a moment to enjoy exactly where we are!

     

I am the queen of “When (…) happens - THEN I’ll be happy.” OR “When (…) happens - life will be so much easier.”  

First it was “If I could get the job of my dreams…then I’ll be happy.” I worked hard and got the job…guess what? I wasn’t happy. Then it was: “When we have a baby our life will be so much fuller.”(fuller of poopy diapers maybe)…We had the baby and we were forever changed…but I still wasn’t content. Then it was “When we get a bigger house…then I’ll be happy”…(little did I know cleaning a 3,500 square foot house isn’t a party)…needless to say I still wasn’t happy. When I got pregnant with #2 of corse I couldn’t work AND be happy so we sold everything we owned… cars, home and everything else… and bought an old fixer upper so I could be a stay at home mom and … be happy. But life kept happening, special needs kids, a tough economy, pursuing dreams and then watching them break off one piece at a time. Lasting happiness and contentment always seemed to be just around the corner…but never quite attainable.

I don’t think I was ever really content…until we lost everything. Being humbled beyond the point of recovery, moving home at 30 and 35 with three kids to live with my parents. Having to admit to everyone in a small town that we couldn’t make it on our own and even worse…that we needed help…was devistating. Getting food stamps and living off credit cards was humiliating. Almost loosing our home that we’d sunk every penny of our saving into was a slap in the face. I almost think I had to face losing it all…all of the things I thought were the most important… to realize what a blessing each day really is. I do have to admit though, even now, as a stay at home mom/non-profit consultant/cheif monkey trainer (yes, that’s really what our business cards say) sometimes I envy my husband as he gets dressed up for work and leaves. ALONE in the car with his thoughts and no screaming kids, getting ready to have stimulating adult conversation, getting to eat and go to the bathroom without kids crawling up his legs…sometimes I wish our roles were reversed. Then I remember I don’t have to get dressed during the day if I don’t want to…heck I don’t even have to brush my teeth. I can eat peanut butter straight out of the jar with marshmallows on top for lunch and the three guys I work for around the clock, although demanding and destructive at times… love me more than anyone on earth…and that makes it all worth it!