I don’t even know where to start…I think that writing about what hasn’t changed since children would be a lot easier and a much shorter list!  

I’m not fancy anymore…I used to work in a nice salon as a successful hairdresser and although I do work one day in a fabulous little salon, I have lost the glamour that that lifestyle brings.  I am lucky at this point if I get some mascara on and my hair out of those stupid claw clips by the time my husband gets home at 6!  I remember teaching “moms” how to quickly do their hair and even pleading with them to use bobby pins instead of claw clips.  Now I am that mom, the one that I thought was so ridiculous that she could not even take 10 minutes to do her hair!  I can’t believe it!  

So this my glamourous self and my husband before kids…ya right, I wish, its Carmen Electra, with my husband…Thought I would try! (aren’t you glad you don’t have to live up to that!)

I remember 8:00 being such a great time…I would either be getting ready to go out (k so it wasn’t too exciting, just a movie or something) or even getting ready to go to the gym…Now, at 3:00 I start a countdown to 8:00…Yes, bedtime!!!  Not for me, that’s when my work begins, but for my two precious energy suckers! I am so tired by bedtime now that the thought of getting ready to “go out’ makes me want to curl up in a corner and suck my thumb!! 

I can think of a few reasons in the past why I would use the word “no”.  Maybe if I was asked to rob a bank, climb Mt. Everest, or run a school bus off the road…Now I seriously think it is the most used word in my vocabulary!  No more snacks, no hitting, no screaming, no running, no splashing, no climbing, no jumping, no more pillows on the ground, no picking my flowers, no markers, no pulling hair, no kicking the dog, no drinking mommies coffee, no going outside, no going inside…Oh sorry, I was just having flash backs of the last 10 minutes; you get the point.  Seriously its such a habit at this point, that my husband is afraid to ask for…Well you get that point too. 

I frequently wonder if food is really ever warm??  I vaguely remember a time when I would sit down at the table and slowly savor small bites of food of various temperatures…Was that just a dream?  I can hardly fathom the concept of sitting through an entire meal, let alone enjoying the taste of warm food!  It must exist, it must, it must it must!!! 

Sorry, I had to slap myself, I’m back… 

So the last thing that I remember is…Stay with me now, this is going to get deep, no ugly, no gross…mm,mm,mm (I just cleared my throat)  Taking as much time as I want to…Ummm…Poop.  Ok so I said it, but don’t pretend like you never think the same thing!  I am so jealous of my husband as he hangs out, makes phone calls, checks emails, and chills all on the comfort of our lovely toilet.  My trips to the bathroom include 2 escorts talking details about what I am doing and even reaching into the toilet… I think really???  What is going on here people!!!  I’ve come to the conclusion that God actually made women’s bodies poop faster for the simple reason that we do not have time, or even the energy for that matter!

 LINZ…

Although my oldest is only 5, I barely remember life before kids. Here’s what I do vaguely remember though….

BOOBS!!!!! Although I don’t really need to say more if you have breast fed for even a second…let me just say the reward for nursing a child for months … and feeling like a freaking dairy cow 24/7 …. should not be smaller, flatter, stretch-marked boobs…seriously, am I wrong? However I do have to say Victoria Secrets has come to my rescue with the “bombshell” bra… although I usually shop clearance at Target for my bras and undies… dropping $50 on the VS bra was like buying a boob job in a bag and I couldn’t be happier:)

WORK-OUTS… I can remember the day when I would just go work out at the gym whenever I wanted… I was 20 pounds lighter and I actually thought the gym was a required part of my existence…now you would either laugh or cringe watching my workouts… although I LOVE our boot camps (ummm that’s just a fancy way of saying all of my best friends meet at my house to work out in my backyard:) there is rarely a day that goes by when one of our kids doesn’t cry through the entire work-out. We do crunches while our toddlers straddle us and use us as trampolines and somebody’s kid is always trying to get a pony ride while we do push-ups… it’s a friggen circus and anything but glamourous.

SLEEP… I remember complaining if I had to get up before 11 on a weekend… ugghh I was so annoying!!! And let me just say, if you don’t have kids and make any sort of ridiculous statement like the one I used to make… you’d better not be within slapping distance of me!! I was so stoked this morning that only one of the boys got up last night and they all slep until 5:45…that NEVERhappens… two days ago Crew, our youngest, came in at 4 am and body slammed my head until I couldn’t take it anymore and got up with him. And the dark circles and bags under my eyes are now permanent fixtures on my 30 year old face…someday though… I know I will be able to sleep again … and then I will have no excuse for being the wicked witch of the west.

ROMANCE… ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Let’s just say romance these days equals a quickie at noon while the kids are napping…hmmm TMI??? 

LOVE… Even with the saggy boobs, no sleep, extra 20 pounds and general lack of adventure, glamor and romance…LOVE makes it all worth it!! It’s amazing to me how much LOVE I have for these grubby little monkeys. It’s amazing that no matter how crazy they make us…how much heart break we experience on their behalf…how hard they make life…there is an unending well of unconditional love for them. It’s depth is unexplainable to anyone that doesn’t have children and honestly it wasn’t until I had kids that I realized that the love, grace and forgiveness I have for my boys is only a fraction of what God has for me. My boys complete me and as we were wrestling on the floor last night while my hubby was cooking dinner I thanked God for such a hugely blessed life!