It hit me the other day that I do a bunch of things that honestly I would be totally embarrassed if anyone knew that I did…These things have to do with being a mom behind closed doors. I think that you will be able to relate and not judge… I came up with things like, not taking off my shoes when I come in the house, and letting my daughters hair get tangles in it, but then I figured you all would think ‘”ya right!”  and so I came up with some good (gross) stuff!

     I’ve been known, ok really, I’ve been known to hide, that I occasionally flick a booger!  Not my own people!!  Gross!  My kids…sometimes it’s just not convenient to go find a tissue and I figure no one will ever know anyway…oops, messed up that theory!!  Ohhh don’t even try to tell me you haven’t done it before!

     So this one could get me in trouble, but sometimes I lock myself in the closet (literally) to have an uninterrupted phone call.   Why is it that kids freak out every time the phone rings anyway???  And just so you “perfect” mothers don’t freak out on me, I do have my logical limits as to how long I should stay in there with kids doing who knows what!

     I have actually grown to like Mac and Cheese that is about 2 hours old, hard bread crust and strawberry jelly that is stuck to the counter.  Sometimes the only way to get nourishment is for me to graze on whatever cold clump of nastiness is left over from my kids meals…that is kind of gross when I think about it, but hey, mama needs food too!

     So this one may be crossing the limit of grossness but here it goes…sometimes I (gulp) come across a dirty diaper left on the floor or counter (sick!) for longer than I would like to admit (not more than a couple hours or so…I’m not totally disgusting) and even worse, I’ve returned home before with them torn up on the floor, half eaten thanks to the dog!

     Speaking of the dog, he makes a mean vacuum cleaner for all of the food that gets dropped by my two year old!  Just a warning, you may not want to eat off of my floors because I actually let him “clean up” behind my kids!

     I like it when my car is filled with the sweet sound of my kids music, but I will admit to turning my music up loud enough to drown out the sound of unnecessary crying or fighting!  (and that can be pretty loud) Sometimes all the fussing just wears me out! What else can I say; Carrie Underwood is much nicer to listen to then screaming!!!

     I might loose you here but smell your own hands before you judge!  I sometimes wipe my kids after they use the toilet and get “some” on me and don’t take time to wash my hands.  Oh my gosh, that sounds so gross when I write it down!  I’ve even smelled my hands and wondered if something worse than pee might be ground in!…enough with that!!!

    Well, now that none of you will ever want to visit my house or shake my hand, I am done.  I’m pretty sure that you have your own “behind closed door secrets” share them if you dare…but be prepared to loose a friend or two!

     P.S.  I just re-read this and I feel like I should put up a picture of me and my home so you don’t all think I’m totally disgusting!!!  :)