I love this blog, I love writing it, reading it and sharing it!! I love laughing at some of the stories and being moved by the others. I was thinking about what I wanted to write about today and I decided it was time for me to come up with something funny…I’ve been pretty serious lately! But I feel like if I do that, I won’t be being true to what I really want to talk about. I work hard at not offending anyone ever but today, I think I need to be honest. These thoughts I want to share are being prompted by my many visits to grocery stores, Wal-Mart and playgrounds.

    I have a dumb habit. I started doing it when I was very young, in fact, I don’t remember ever not doing it. I learned it by watching my mom and to this day, I can’t stop. Ready??? Drinking?…no….smoking?…no…yelling, cursing, or lying??? No….I bite the inside of my cheeks. (sorry to let you down) For me this is serious. I hate it!!! It has given me lines around my mouth and a lumpy mouth that I continually chew at to try to get smooth. It can even consume my thoughts…I know it sounds stupid, but if you do this, you can understand the frustration in trying to stop. I watched my mom “chew” her lips when I was young, and I realize now, that if I don’t stop, my kids will learn it from me!  

     So this may be a lame example about what I really want to say, but for me it is real.

     We have a huge job as parents to help to shape our children into amazing, productive, adults. They learn from us, and for me at least, this carries with it a huge responsibility. I am their example, who they learn from and who they will either become or turn away from. This is where I might loose some of you, but stick with me here. I am so tired of being in the store and hearing parents yelling or talking obnoxiously to their kids! Our children  learn to talk like us, act like us and treat others the way that we do. We need to remember that we are raising “adults” not 2 year olds. In other words, we are giving our children the skills they need to use when they are grown. We need to focus on teaching our children, not just disciplining them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not the one that reasons, and explains everything to my two year old, but I do take every chance to teach him about why we do and don’t do certain things. We need to stop yelling at our kids and take a breath. I fully know how frustrating it can be to be with these little turds all day every day, but frankly, I wanted them and it is my job to do what is best for them. When I decided to become a parent (as we all did) we took on that responsibility and we need to own up to it.

We all need to look at our toxic pasts…

whether is cheek biting

anger

jealousy

yelling

 even talking bad about yourself (our daughters especially do NOT need to learn how to put themselves down)!!!

Or any self destructive behavior …

(enter yours here)

     I know that we can all admit to having something that we in no way should pass on to our kids!!! Lets all start today…Lets rid ourselves of these things!!! Lets give our kids a chance to be as healthy as they can be. Our kids will have “issues”. They will make their own choices, but we should never be able to look at them and realize that the nasty things they choose to do were learned by us as parents. And you know what else I want to say…Be nice to your kids! In our home talk all the time about “treating others as you want to be treated” and “do unto others as you would have others do unto you” These may be big concepts for little kids, but they are learning…

    

     Teachers, that’s what mothers are. We will never be perfect and it is too much pressure to even try but we all need to do our best, so we can have no regrets, but mostly so we can be proud of the adults we help create. And one more thing…Love twice as much as you discipline. (a wise person once told me that) If we are not teaching our children to hug, kiss, snuggle, appologise and say I love you…Then we fail them. I will make mistakes, plenty of them, but at the end of the day my kids will have NO doubt that I LOVED THEM EVERY MINUTE!!